Staying ahead of the curve

Miss O'Hara informed me that Laura Ingram, the Washington Post and the NY Post are all talking about the new masculinity. I couldn't find the articles but then again, I'm just too lazy to dig past the first couple of pages.

Just remember: you read it here first.. and I read it first someplace else.

Anyway, to continue to make Nate and Res twitch:

Make-up: the new masculine market craving

No, I don't make this stuff up folks. This idea makes Queer Eye for the Straight Guy look positively butch. At least they just focus on skin care and not the benefits of liquid vs. pencil eyeliner.

Nate said something about it at his place, too.

Speaking of guys in drag, I had a bit of an eye opener recently. It had NEVER EVER occurred to me that belly dancing would attract drag performers. When I saw the documentary "American Bellydancer" a few weeks ago, Miles Copeland (the producer) was relating in a meeting how they were accused of being sexist by only including female dancers in their show. Cut to a performance of a rather large person in a red dress tearing up the dance floor... and then the wig is yanked off to reveal a guy.

The audience shrieked and laughed. I about died.

When I spoke to The Professor about it, he said "Oh yeah - there are a number of drag performers in belly dance." *shudder*

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... Can I get one?

or 'What happened to the power of the french-blue shirt?'



*cough cough*

Not really but the lovely and talented Miss O'Hara sent me a link to a Yahoo News story about up and coming fashions for men.

What's wrong with that picture? Do we have the time? Yes, of course we do.

1. Backward suspenders are SO 1990 - "A Different World" - not "In Living Color." They are not and never were cool. Hey, dude, be sure to sing "Jump Jump.. the Mack dad'll make you Jump Jump" when you wear that out, mm-kay? The girls will be lining up around the block!
2. As I said in "Fashion Advice for the Leftist Set," horizontal stripes work for no one... not even skinny, shapeless, sallow-faced male models.
3. If you are Thurston Howell the III or Dracula, you may wear an ascot. Otherwise, DON'T!
4. Fire your colorist. They didn't match your hair to your eyebrows. Eww.
   

That's just the picture. The article is even more humorous:

"The masculine ideal is being completely modified. All the traditional male values of authority, infallibility, virility and strength are being completely overturned," said Pierre Francois Le Louet, the agency's managing director.

Instead today's males are turning more towards "creativity, sensitivity and multiplicity," as seen already in recent seasons on the catwalks of Paris and Milan.

Arnold Schwarznegger and Sylvester Stallone are being replaced by the 21st-century man who "no longer wants to be the family super-hero", but instead has the guts to be himself, to test his own limits.

"We are watching the birth of a hybrid man. ... Why not put on a pink-flowered shirt and try out a partner-swapping club?" asked Le Louet, stressing that the study had focused on men aged between 20 and 35.

Now that our resident masculine men have finished spitting on their monitors, let me just say this:

Men who want to wear pink flowered shirts, ruffles, can stay the f*** away from me! I'm the girl in the relationship. If wanted to be with another woman... eww.. I don't so let's just not go there.

If walking out on a committed relationship is what is now called 'manly' because you need to find yourself, I want no part of it. Then again, that's the excuse women have been using thanks to feminism for years. "I don't want to be married to you anymore. I need me-time." It would only make sense that men would eventually catch on and do the same thing.

Feminine-men apologists may say "Cary Grant was well dressed." Yes.. but there was little doubt that Cary Grant and other stars of the Golden Age of Hollywood were MEN. They walked like men. They talked like men. They excuded a masculine presense that drew women to them. He wore a suit - not fluffy sweaters. These new Euro-weenie styled fellas exude too much Botox.

I think that it's just WRONG that this article would dare to presume to call these males "men." They aren't men. They are women with the wrong body parts.

Final note: it is amusing that this article is digging up something that already has a name and that some sociologists are attempting to make metrosexuality sound new, different, and important.

Overheard in Vail

While at lunch (er.. for Nate - dinner) at this Austrian restaurant this past Friday, I overheard:

"THAT'S MINE!!!! DON'T TOUCH IT!"

Not from a 3 year old. But from the 73 year old woman at the table with her other grandmother-type friends... yelling at the top of her lungs and smacking the arm of the lady sitting beside her.

The whole scene made me want to go over and say "If you can't sit here and eat your wienerschnitzel quietly, we are going home and you can go without dinner (or the non-Blogger Blaster readers: lunch)."

It was still too early for supper.

Caption Contest!

Now that Pope-a-palooza has calmed down to where we barely hear a peep from the Vatican, it seems like a good time to post this photo.

Get your entries in by 6-9-05 (Thursday). I'll post the winner on Friday.

Even curious?

About where I went... hmmm? Well.. hmph. I'm going to tell you anyway. More details and pictures to follow.. stuff to make the men-folk drool. Stuff to make the ladies go "OH MY WORD! WHAT WAS SHE THINKING WHEN SHE PICKED THAT OUT?!" And a few overheards that will make you scratch your head.

I spent a week in Vail and a couple of days in Denver. And it snowed on Saturday. I'm from the South. Snow belongs in the winter. Not June. But that's what I get for staying at a place 8000+ feet above sea level.

Had a great belly dance lesson (dancer to be named later because I don't want to spoil a future belly dance photo of the week) and even had the chance to dance a little bit on Saturday night at Mataam Fez - a great Moroccan place on Colfax that if you are ever in Denver, you should go. That was the highlight of my trip. I definately will be making plans to visit her again and/or attend one of her workshops.

Coming to a TV set near you

Some 'worthwhile' shows from NBC:

Hit Me Baby One More Time brings one or two hit wonders back in a way that VH1 (the Nostalgia Music Channel) probably wish they could do. VH1 had that reuniting the band thing but there were times that it fizzled out because some members had, you know, moved on with their lives and weren't making music anymore. Last week saw Arrested Development (the band not the TV show on some other network) winning over Flock of Seagulls and Tiffany. Flock of Seagulls somehow isn't as impressive without the hair. Is someone paying Britney's song writers for the use of her first big hit?

Vanilla Ice will be on this week. He said several years ago that he would never sing "Ice Ice Baby" again. I'm almost tempted to watch it but I have better things to do... just what yet, I dunno.

And for this fall, NBC brings us "The Apprentice" - Martha Stewart style. Will she say "you're fired" a la the Donald? Or will she say "You are not a good thing?" Time will only tell. Contestants will likely have to craft their way through at least one episode, making things out of fancy paper, die cut sheet metal, ribbon, dried flowers, and some other little whatchmacallit that isn't available except by Martha Stewart mail-order. "It's very pret-ty."

I know - You missed me.

And from what I heard, a small hornet's nest got stirred up over at Elena's....

Well, I'm back! Blogging will resume.. uh... sometime on Monday.

At the Countess's Villa

Come on over to Countess Elena's for a bit o' fun or silliness as a break in your day.

Empress Pink Kitty shall return around June 5th or so.

Guest Blogging

The Empress is going out of town and will be without internet access for over a week. Whoo-hoo!

So, I've asked Countess Elena to pick up the mantle while I am away and either post here or at Polka Dotted Sky.

Have a great week everyone and I will see you soon!

We're from the government and we are here to help...

OK, so it's a group of doctors and not the government but they are asking the British goverment to do something.

Doctors' kitchen knives ban call

Question - what am I supposed to cut the fat off my steak with before grilling it if I can't have a kitchen knife? Remember, if you ban knives, only criminals will have them!

Next they will ban:
water because people drown
electricity because people electricute themselves
tall buildings because people jump off of them

And then they will ask for padded sidewalks and everything to have rounded edges because people trip and hurt themselves.

Ten Questions

Via Machine Overloards and Michelle at A Small Victory comes the Bernard Pivot/James Lipton list of 10 questions asked on The Actor's Studio. Because I know you want to get to know me better, here are my answers:

1. What is your favorite word?

Words of the moment: Fabulous! And freakin'. And sweet. Very South Park, I know.

2. What is your least favorite word?

No. But usually when I hear it, it is for the best. That doesn't mean I have to like it.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Good music inspires the imagination. That can launch into choreography, prayer, meditation, woship, and a wide range of emotions from happiness, joy, reverence, or humility.

4. What turns you off?

Boring-a$ lectures

5. What is your favorite curse word?

I can't say it - it isn't safe for Elena's work. But I do have one.

6. What sound or noise do you love?

Kitty purring (just not right in my ear first thing in the morning)

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

Car alarms, that stupid bird next door

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Professional belly dancer

9. What profession would you not like to do?

President of the United States

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Well done my good and faithful servant." and then "Come on in. We've got bbq pork - Memphis style.. and some NC style because Duke Diva is here and she likes that, too... and lemonade." Yeah, I know pigs are unclean but mmmmm... pork bbq.... That's good stuff, right there.

Delivering the smackdown

Oops! Some legislators are spending the morning at the big house.

2 Memphis legislators (including my former boss, John Ford) and 2 from near Chattanooga were arrested for violations of the Hobbs Act. No that's not anything Bill Hobbs (who has a great post on all the goings-on, BTW) has anything to do with :)

Extortion people. Are we surprised AT ALL?!

Not me said the flea.

Update (1:29pm): The blogosphere's resident redneck, Nate, always has very colorful commentary. I agree. Anyday that starts with John Ford being arrested is a good day. It is unfortunate that it's likely he won't actually serve any prison time if convicted.

Captioning Katie Couric

I know. I always give the photos to you, gentle readers, to caption... today that's a bit different. Here are some captions of Ms. Couric.

• I feel pretty, oh so pretty... I feel pretty.
• *high pitched voice* What? What is this breathing thing you are talking about?
• Yeah... the scientists on the mother ship said the wound will heal. No one should notice the implant and receiver in the back of my head.
• And a one... and a two... step to the left... good! Step to the right! Ladies, God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to SHAKE 'EM!!!!!!
• After this broadcast, Al Roker and I are going into the trailer. Make sure we aren't disturbed, m'kay?
• Life has been SOOOOO much better since the team gave me my own on/off switch.
• Can you tell if that Clairol Hydrience color worked? It works for Heather Locklear and I'm twice as cute as she is!
  

Today's Useless Study

Don't pat him on the back more than 3 times - The Man Hug

That's right. Some semi-smart PHD types with nothing better to do have published results of a study about the Man Hug. Different types, variations on a theme, when it's appropriate. I'm not sure which is more gay.. someone actually studying the man-hug or manties (ruffly panties for men - link found via Mr. Roboto).

It's used, therefore it's a bargain

So the train of thought goes. One of those magazine-like shows (Dateline or something) had a segment on things you should never buy used. Not having seen the show, I have no idea what they came up with. One of my former co-workers told me about this show that ran on public access in Knoxville where some local guys sold stuff like on QVC. One time it was an old wooden washtub. Another was a box of random items pulled out of someone's bathroom cabinet: hairbrush, open box of tampons, and some other sundry items. The EWWW factor followed right after I stopped laughing. According to my buddy, the guys were bothered by the fact no one was calling in on the great deal for the gently used bathroom products.

As a public service, here is PK's list of things you should never buy used:

Socks and underwear
Christmas trees
Dental Floss
Soap
An opened jar of sweet midget pickles

What other things should one not buy used?

Who pays?

Candy Girl has a post on May 20th (permalink isn't working properly) responding to other discussions on who should pay for the first date... all of which were started by this Gawker post.

[Excerpt from email] When the BILL(S) came she sobered up fast. I caught a glimpse of hers, 5 drinks plus a little finger food $319.00 I think it was. She looked shocked and sick to her stomache when she saw 2 bills. Guess she thought I was buying. Think again. (The old me woulda soaked up the bill but steared her away from the Blue) I had 4 drinks, no food and a great buzz. Pricey Stoli,but overall still a good value (i ate a ton of free macadamias and almonds) $36.00. D*mn I thought, that BLUE label will get you every time. Of course she did more than the traditional fumble through her purse. Her face was beat red and she was speechless. She left the bill on the table and excused herself for the restroom.

Whether or not the story is true, it does pose an interesting question. I've always offered and came prepared to pay for my share of a meal on a date. I order inexpensive items from the menu (i.e. a pasta dish as opposed to a steak). It's a first date, not an exploratory dig into his finances. I felt bad when this one guy opened his wallet and there were at least 5 credit cards in there. He thumbed for a moment to find one and then paid. Yes, I did offer.

But to another first date - and only date - story. Meet guy at movie theater. Get to ticket window, I offer to buy my movie ticket. He insists. "Are you sure? I don't mind." Guy throws hissy fit. "I will pay for it! It is my blah blah blah.." man is supposed to pay... The poor girl at the counter looked like she'd just been hit with a truck. I look at her and hold up 2 fingers. "He's paying."

AND THEN... after the movie, we were chatting in the parking lot, Guy has the nerve to ask me to take fliers to campus to promote his new tech support business or whatever. Guy does not call for 2nd date... PK does not email/call to encourage 2nd date. And PK is glad to not hear from him again.

Belly Dance Photo of the Week

This week's featured dancer is Dolphina, creator of the Goddess Workout. Personally, I don't think much of her as a dancer and her videos are just plain silly. The whole chakra thing is a bit much. The CDs are surprisingly good. But, I thought Nate in particular would enjoy the pictures anyway... being a lover of blondes.

A Night at the Symphony

Friday night, I went to see the Nashville Symphony Pops series with Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. BBVD is one of my favorite bands and I was thrilled to see them play live! I got gussied up, a good seat in the tier and settled in to watch the show.

One would think that the cost of the tickets would skew the crowd to a more refined segment of the population. One that knew how to behave in a large concert hall. I could not have been more mistaken.

Apparently I was in the redneck section of Jackson Hall.

To my left was Darth Vader minus his costume. His breathing was so heavy and loud I could barely hear the music in some parts. Add to that the constant chatter between he and his wife... and Mrs. Vader singing along to Moon River. Oh yeah. But my night just kept getting better.

Three - THREE - rows in front of me, I heard all about this one couple's saga regarding the purchase of real estate. The poor girl behind them kept asking them to be quiet but they just would not shut up.

Intermission. The Vaders go home and I'm blessedly alone for the most part. 2 seats open to my right, 3 seats open to my left and those immediately in front of me are also vacant. Those that were left behaved themselves in the first act.

Then come in Mr. and Mrs. A.S. Hole. And I am almost literal in that description. Cue BBVD. Place is jumping. Everyone's having a good time save for the Holes. They are talking. Not whispering. Talking. Elena can tell you... if there is anything that will send me into levels of pissed off rarely seen it is talking in theaters, concerts, movies, etc... when one is supposed to be QUIET! Why would you pay $9 at a movie or close to $70 for the Symphony to sit there and talk? You could do that at home or at a restaurant for much less money and it would be in an appropriate venue. So, I leaned forward and nicely asked if they could keep their whispering down. Mrs. Hole looked at me as though to kill me and said "yes."

Two seconds later, Mr. Hole turned around and asked "Is it ok if we sing?"

"Only if you can sing in tune."

So for the next three songs, Mr. Hole tells everyone around him to be quiet when it's time to applaud between songs. But no one else said anything to Mr. Hole. They just let him continue to be a Hole. I hoped hoped hoped he said something to me again.... because I was going to say something so childish, immature, non-Christian that I dare not repeat it here.

After that experience, it is highly unlikely I will ever go back to the Symphony or TPAC for that matter.

A Sith's Revenge

Because some of my gentle readers may not want it spoiled, I've buried the review off of the front page.

Let's keep the comments on that post, m'kay?

Caption Contest Winner

Another Caption Contest has come and gone here at the Scratching Post. I will say, every time I look at that picture of Kim Jong Il, I hear "I'm so ronery, so ronery... so sad so arone... sitting on my rittle throne..."

Another great contest, y'all. Funny entries all the way around!

Elena and I were talking about it and I came up with another caption but I don't remember what it was. I do remember I laughed so hard that I declared myself the winner. Elena then threatened to lead a palace revolt to take the Burger King cardboard crown away from me. Don't make me call out the Stormtroopers, girlfriend!

Onto the winner - the Burger King crown this week goes to.......

Lord Floppington with

World's tiniest dictator eats world's sourest lemon.

Hah!

Have a fabulous weekend everybody!

Calling Captain Obvious

or Best Headline EVER

Via Miss O'Hara: Europe unites in hatred of French

Nice to know they hate the French too. No news in the article about how much they hate America.... but we already know that.

Fixing non-broken things

The lovely and talented Miss O'Hara said it better than I could.

Why on earth did VW have to take one of the best movies ever, Singin' in the Rain and just slap it around. Gene Kelly does NOT need help in the dance department. Certainly not that street/faux break dancing crap he's doing in that ad. Ugh.

Full Review of Episode III

I had something all written up. Very funny if I do say so myself... but Tim Morgan did a much better job - minus all the details about the movie for you folks who hadn't seen it.

Must read... particularly the Monty Python reference. Tim, I thought about that too. It was hard not to yell out "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? BLEED ON ME?!" as the next line for Obi Wan.

Because I know you all will be clammoring for what I had to say, I will post my full review this weekend. By that time, enough details will have leaked that what I have to say won't matter anymore aside from still being funny.

The Fashionista Strikes Again!

Note to Lee Ann Womack and all stylists:

Your skin tone should NOT match the carpet of the event, m'kay.



Countess Elena adds: "Use the self-tanner litmus test. If you have gone to Oompa-Loompa, you've gone too far.

The Force Was with this Movie

Freakin' SWEET! I will write a more complete review but that's all I'm putting up at the moment.

More Scenes from Nashville

At lunch, I heard the gentleman at the next table attempting to impress his lady companion. I guess instead of tales of heroism, knowledge of great works of literature and philosophy, or musical ability.... such high brow talk might cause her head to explode.

Oh no... our gallant gentleman impresses his date by talking about the great deal he got at Best Buy on his digital camera and docking station. He also talks about himself for 45 straight minutes. I think the only thing I heard her say was to the server "I'm still hungry. I would like an order of buffalo feathers."

Rough approximation of the gentleman's conversation: "I'm great. I'm fabulous. I make lots of money and the company pays my travel expenses. I am working on this multi-million dollar contract. Me me me... I I I."

Then the bill came. And he starts complaining about the fact that it doubled from the first time the server brought it. Duh... you ordered 2 more drinks and the buffalo feathers after you got the first bill. "It went from $24 to almost $48!" Yes, that's alot for lunch but you are the pair drinking cocktails.

He went on and on until lady companion offers to pay for the buffalo feathers. Yeah.

Make like a tree and get outta here

"It's make like a tree and leave..."

I don't admit to a fashion faux pas very often but.. if I were wearing a skirt today instead of khaki slacks, I would look like a reject from a 1950's film about home economics or something.

How my hair decided to do "the flip" all by itself is beyond me.

Today's Useless Study

More scientists are having their Captain Obvious/Christine moments by telling us what we already know:

Menstrual Cycle May Alter Brain Chemistry - may cause mood swings.

Whew... I'm glad they spent that money to clear that up.

Caption Contest!

Oh dear oh dear. What is Kim Jong Il saying or thinking?

Remember - keep it safe for work, please! Results posted on Friday.

Proper Care and Use of the English Language

Is not to be found in this headline:

2nd Avenue Merchants: Bullets Are Bad For Business

Unless you are a gun shop/range owner.

Random thought of the day

Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails would probably be very ticked off if he were to know that I don't appreciate his music for its.. um.. intellectual qualities and depth of feeling.

Track 1 on their new CD is very suited to belly dancing.

Similarities

I don't make these things up, folks...



Natalie Portman at the Cannes Film Festival for the premiere of Star Wars: Episode III... looking a little too much like....



Demi Moore in GI Jane. Eww.

Spy on your neighbor...

Report them to the state....
Win big prizes from Big Brother! Whoo-hoo!

Be a good citizen! Turn that driver in for littering.

The report on News Channel 5 credited Senator Diane Black with the legislation but the bill I found was entered by Senator Charolette Burks. Regardless, somebody down there sponsored legislation that would encourage drivers to turn in people to TDOT if they are seen littering on the highways of Tennessee.

You don't get anything, good citizen of the State, for turning in your other drivers but the offender gets a letter from TDOT telling them to stop it.

Kim Jong Il (sounding like Cartman's Vietnamese prostitute impression): And what will you do Hans Blix if I don't turn over my nuclear weapons?

Hans Blix: We will send you a very strongly worded letter expressing our disappointment.

OK - awful paraphrase from Team America (out on DVD Tuesday!) but close enough.

You under-estimate the power of the Dark Side

Via The Puppy Blender - The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster

Who knew that Darth Vader was so in tune to 21st century technology with all the light sabers and stuff... he would choose to communicate via a blog.

Darth Vader was my favorite from the original Star Wars movie. The actor did a promotional tour and my mom took me to see him. She said I spent 5 minutes asking questions and he couldn't respond because his voice was not the voice used in the movie. She also told me that my own dark side came out when Darth Vader wouldn't answer my questions. I think I got a pop on the tushie for that and my autograph from Vader hidden away as punishment.

Sounds... Familiar....

From The Huffington Post | The Blog

Question 1: Would you invite a neo-Nazi over for dinner?
Question 2: Would you attend a dinner party where a neo-Nazi was in attendance?
Question 3: Would you socialize with people who openly cavort with neo-Nazis?

But what I heard was:

Would you like to take a survey?
Do you eat beans?
Would you like to see a new movie starring George Wendt?
Would you like to eat beans with George Wendt?
Would you like to see George Wendt eating beans in a movie?
Do you eat beans at George Wendt movies?
Would you like to see George Wendt in a bean eating movie?
How many beans do you eat at George Wendt bean eating movies?
How many bean eating movies have you seen with George Wendt?

Not Michelle's Week Either - Woof

Nate brought the tasering incident to my attention yesterday. WND linked to a story about the woman's conviction.

In praise of the police, Michelle Malkin reminds us of the sacrifices of police officers - who also have families and stuff. OK. First: it is willing. No one made them be police officers just in the same the Armed Forces are voluntary. Second: no group should be put on a pedestal like that - to the point that they are almost untouchable. When there is no accountability, abuse runs rampant. Police, fire fighters, armed forces should be held to a higher standard and tighter scruitiny. There should be a general respect for them because they are humans, you know - not just because they wear a badge. Doesn't that skirt the line of idolatry if we are to pay homage to the badge. We may not be sacrificing bulls to it but it's respect for an inantimate object.

But Malkin completely glosses over the tasering incident, almost dismissing it as trivial and a non-issue. They pulled the woman over for speeding. She refused to sign the ticket, as she had done before. She said she would take the ticket but not sign it. They attempted to pull her out of her car and when she wouldn't exit the vehicle, they hit her with a taser 3 times!!!! That is 150,000 volts! Praise God that her baby survived.

That is an abuse of power, Michelle. And it does need to be discussed. If signing the ticket isn't required in Seattle, then the woman should have been let go and on her way. There was NO reason for the cops to take a nose dive into the world of Gestapo behavior over a speeding ticket.

The rationale for using the taser is that it protects the cops and that it was her fault because she didn't sign the traffic ticket... or exit the vehicle when "requested".

I agree with Nate's commentary and Res's assessment last week. Me-so Michelle is just another Republican lap dog. Will she tell us more about another Mommy's Day Tea instead of responding to criticism of her article? I am surprised that Michelle didn't chastise the woman for using the word "fetus" in her interview. "It's not a fetus! It's a baby!" Well, the woman carried the baby/fetus to term and has a little girl. So, let's move on.

Michelle should take a vacation for a while and stop writing... or maybe WND should drop her column.

Phantom Menace of the Opera

With the release of Phantom of the Opera to DVD last week and Episode III to theaters next week, this post is topical.

Scene 1: A meeting between Pricess Leia, Padme, and Christine

Leia: We must devise a plan to stop the Empire. Every system must be freed of tyranny.
Padme: What tyranny? The vote on forming the Army of the Republic is next week. That dammed fool Palpatine wants to send me home. He thinks I am in danger.
Leia: Who are you?
Padme: What?
Leia: Who are you?
Padme: Are you the catepillar from Alice in Wonderland? I am the Senator from Naboo, former Queen - twice elected.
Leia: You look familiar.
Padme: Are we related?
Christine: Think of me.. think of me fondly...
Leia and Padme both look intensly confused at the sudden outbreak of song.
Padme: Who is thinking of you fondly?
Christine: The Phaaaantom of the Opera is here..... inside my mind.
Leia: Right.....
Christine's voice begins to vocalize in strange, eerie and sometimes painful to listen to patterns. Leia leans over and clamps her hand over Christine's mouth to shut her up.

Scene 1a: The Opera Diva bursts in and demands that everyone pay attention to her because, after all, she is famous and fabulous.



Scene 2: Anakin Skywalker and the Phantom meet in a "brood-off" to prove who sulks the most.









Scene 3: An epic battle between Anakin and the Phantom that the freakin' director half hides because he put the camera behind the trees "for dramatic effect." The light saber makes quick work of the Phantom's sword but Anakin is immobilized by the Phantom's singing.

Obi Wan Kenobi arrives on the scene but forgets which movie he is in and begins to sing something from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Anakin and the Phantom cover their ears and collapse - both defeated. The Force is brought into balance before we have to endure Episode VII: Penance for F'ing Up a Good Story.

(Writer's Note: The director of Moulin Rouge should have made Phantom of the Opera. Baz would have done a much better job. George Lucas should have been banned from making any further Star Wars movies after he made ewoks. George - you can write the screenplay but let someone else do the work.)

Scene 4: In another moment of confusion, Christine declares her love to Obi Wan and then to Anakin. All of this leaves Raoul befuddled...



...because she accepted his propsal of marriage and is wearing his ring around her neck. Padme gets upset and utters some of the worse dialogue ever on screen to remind Anakin of her affection for him:

[Padme] I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.
[Anakin] What are you talking about?
[Padme] I love you.
[Anakin] You love me?! I thought we decided not to fall in love. That would be forced to live a lie. That it would destroy our lives...
[Padme] I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. My love for you is a puzzle, Ani, for which I have no answers. I can't control it... and now I don't care. I truly, deeply love you, and before we die I want you to know.

*cue music - Savage Garden's Truly, Madly Deeply*

Scene 5: Slave Girl outfit contest...





The vote is unanimous, Leia wins in a landslide but the ballots note that the judges would like to see Padme in a slave girl outfit.

Note - we skipped scene 6 because it was even too horrible for this blog to print.

Scene 7: The Climatic Ending. See... we've had a battle and a love scene. What does that leave us to show? A spaceship? The Death Star exploding? Dancing in the streets? A Gungan yelling "PEACE!"? A lone mask in a spotlight just before the screen fades to black? Much like Lucas, I'm getting tired and am just going to end it here... you know... where it makes no sense. Maybe some underage flirting going on and a Yoda-ism ( from a Yoda who sounds too much like Kermit the Frog).

(expanded on dialogue from Farker, moskie)

"Frankly my dear, give a d*mn I do not."
"Tara... to Tara go, I will. Another day, tomorrow is."

- The End, finally -

Fear the Garage Sale

There are no words to describe exactly how much I abhor yard/garage/estate sales. Though this StrongBad email comes close. I'm still trying to figure out how exactly I got suckered into the neighborhood sale this weekend. Perhaps I should suddenly leave town....

A purr to Elena. I laughed so hard I cried... because those people are there. We met them at the estate sale.

I supposed I should say something brilliant

with all the new visitors here but.. instead.. I think I will post this picture that came across my email via my perscription provider.



Did they take a photo of young John Kerry or what?

Good morning and Welcome

To new readers who wandered here from Cox and Forkum and LaShawn Barber's blogs.

Glad you are here!

Yippee!

Mr. Roboto finally added me to the Thursday Night Fever blogroll.

It's like being invited to sit at the cool kids lunch table. All is right with the world.

For Mr. Roboto, I bring you: Crunk, TN. I saw it when I was using Mapquest. I have no idea if its a real place but... there ya go. Gives new meaning to keepin' it crunk.

BlogNashville Wrap Up

I had dinner with the incredibly nice and very intelligent LaShawn Barber and some other bloggers - hopefully she will have the picture posted and their names because I don't know who they are. It was great. Fabulous food at Midtown Cafe... more money than I planned to spend but hey... how often does one get to sit across the table from one of the blogosphere's biggest names and talk politics, religion, and blog traffic.

So who I didn't get to meet:

• Evil Glenn - but I did see him. He had way too many blog-groupies around him and I'm not all about that. He looks like a professor... really. I expected him to say "PK, where is your paper?" He did seem to be a good guy though.
  
• Chris Muir of the Day by Day Cartoon. I did see him with Cox and Forkum at lunch. We were like "ohhhh... the cartoonists have flocked together. There's trouble brewing." Chris is very handsome.
  
• Oliver Willis didn't show. Perhaps he had other plans. One of the guys at dinner said that Oliver isn't as irrational in person as he is on his blog.... mm-hmm.

All in all, it was a well-spent Saturday. I learned quite a bit and had a great time hanging out with other bloggers. And as I said time and time again when brows were quirked as I gave my blog's name: "I make no apologies for naming my blog Pink Kitty or talking about shoes and belly dancing. It is what it is." I may not change the world with my blog but I'm not out to.

My guess is that people come here to get something amusing for their day.. and belly dance pictures. Just as there are many different sections of a newspaper, there is room in the blogosphere for journalists and funny pages.

Why Pink Kitty did not attend the BlogNashville pub crawl

Because within 2 minutes inside Legends, the smoke made her so sick she had to go back outside... and then she just kept walking... and walking right back to her car. It's been an hour and a half since I left and my eyes are still stinging.

Now, I am not in favor of government enforced anti-smoking bans as what happened in Boston. But a business acquaintance who lives in Boston told me that he enjoys the bars up there much more since they are non-smoking. Businesses were terrified that it would drop off. He said that it seemed to him business was better because more non-smoking folks were coming in.

So, would it hurt some of the pubs/clubs/honky tonks to have a non-smoking night? Because I was looking forward to the pub crawl all day (it's what made the lectures almost tolerable - because it was frickin' freezing in that building) and it sucks to be that bothered by cigarette smoke. The music at Legends was actually pretty good. I stood on the corner for a few minutes to listen but got uncomfortable with people staring at me like I was some freak.

I think I may contact the Downtown Business Consortium and Chamber of Commerce. It certainly isn't the Metro Council's business.

Scratches to the BlogNashville Post

I just got home from the Welcome Party planned by the very-wonderful Mr. Roboto of Thursday Night Fever.

And like a high school year book, I need a place for the "It was fabulous to meet you!" comments. And really.. it was fabulous to meet lots of these folks. There were many others but here are the folks I definately talked to:

• The She Said What girls - who are very cool. They were on my list of folks I *had* to meet.
  
• Tom and Red of Scared Monkeys - great, fantastic guys.
• Jon of Crap and Drivel who told me that the feminists at Tennessee Guerilla Women were out to get me. Well... unlike alot of liberal feminists, I fully believe in the right to keep and bear arms. *wicked grin* Just need time to reload if they come in a bunch.
• Cole of Christian Dissent
  
• John Cox and Allen Forkum!
  
• Bruce Barry of The Scene's Pith in the Wind
• Chris of My Quiet Life and his fun girlfriend, Amanda. I am continuing the recruiting efforts for Nashville belly dance events... and she's up for it.
  

Paul told me that he ran into my former advisor at Belmont.... and Dr. Hall very much remembers me. I graduated 8 years ago. "Apparently you made quite the impression on him."

Well, yeah. Is that any surprise? Dr. Hall had me in class during my insane years. Talking to me now is like talking to a new person. I see Dr. Hall about once a year. He's still one of the brightest and coolest people I know.

It's off to bed for me and an attempt to get up in time for the registration and Evil Glenn's welcome remarks (who I saw but didn't get to meet... tomorrow er.. today. I saw LaShawn Barber too.. hope to meet her too on behalf of Miss O'Hara).

See y'all in the 'morrow!

blognashville

Attack of The Electric Company Rejects

Holla Back Girl Gwen Stefani brings us the Worst Song Lyric - EVER (not safe for work)

Oooh, this my sh**, this my sh** [4x]

Let me hear you say, this sh** is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S

This my sh**? WTF?

That STUPID refrain has been stuck in my head all friggin day after hearing it on VH1 this morning. Although I thought the line was "Let's eat Bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S."

And whoopie - they can spell. What is this? The Electric Company? Seseme Street?

"C.."
"..at"
"Cat."

Even in the other annoying cheerleader song "Mickey" they didn't spell.

Update: Mr. Roboto beat me to the punch with his hatred love of the song. "It's like crack." Well, it may be crack but that still doesn't make it good for you.

Need a job?

A school that shall remain nameless (no it isn't Vanderbilt) is currently looking for a Men's Violence Prevention Coordinator.

Silly me... I thought "Hey! They want to hire someone to stem the tide of vitriolic hatred of men on campus!"

*PK is having a blond moment this morning....*

And then I kept reading....

The function of this position is to create an environmental approach to preventing violence by focusing prevention efforts on men on the Big State School campus and by promoting the central concept of men taking responsibility with other men to end violence....

Excellent public speaking skills and the ability to facilitate group discussions on significant issues. Must have ability to serve as a mentor to men who wish to work in this area and strong team building skills. Must be able to develop sound philosophical base regarding how men work as allies to women in ending violence against women. Must be able to work with diverse groups of people.

"Men work as allies to women in ending violence against women."

Just let that sink in.

As opposed to the contemporary wacked out femisist notion that men are the scourge of the earth and that if all men were gone, the world would be a better place? Guy, just rush on in there to hear lectures about how to control your temper when your girl goes insane.

But don't you dare touch her!

She can hit you but the second you even look at her wrong, your rear will be sitting in the Dean's Office or jail with a complaint against you.

Be sure to apologize for having a penis. It is the penis's fault you know. If it weren't so threatening to the sensibilities of delicate women (like those women up at Harvard who flipped out because Pres. Summers dared to say there was a difference between men and women as a reason why women aren't more present in the hard sciences).... I'm bothered just thinking about it.

Attend your local Take Back the Night parade and V-Day... we can't talk about the penis but you can attend a play and listen to women wax poetic about their vagina for 2 hours.

PK is being absurd.. but the whole job is absurd. Some school has too much money on its hands and needs to expand the Student Affairs Office. Yes, domestic violence is wrong but let's work on ending violent behavior in both directions.

Should it bother anyone....

That this fine looking couple...



looks a little too much like this other fine looking couple?


(that would be the Ramseys - JonBenet's parents - in case your memory has faded)

DON'T CLICK HERE!

Lucas previews final, dark chapter in 'Star Wars'

Blankity-blank cussword obscenity! SPOILERS!!!! There should have been a warning in that article. Grrrrrrrr.

OK... so I had a hunch about the spoiler (my mom figured it out when we saw Episode 1. And I said "nuh-uh. No way." She isn't alive to see the rest but...) but that doesn't mean I wanted to know before I saw the movie! Freakin' Yahoo.

MeSo Michelle doesn't get it

In Why I'm not a 'South Park conservative', Malkin tries to beat coarse behavior with a verbal stick... and misses. Cute.. perhaps she is intelligent but she should not attempt to analyze pop culture. Please Michelle... leave that to professionals.

The actual phrase is South Park Republican (created by the blogosphere’s resident panic attack guru, Andrew Sullivan). There is a rise of the South Park conservative (as evidenced by the website - not safe for work, the book) but she misses the point of the show.. which happens to be one of my favorites. I think fans of the show identify with the themes of self-reliance (want to make money? Dress up as the tooth fairy… or start a religious cult) and government incompetence (have you seen the Mayor of South Park??). And it’s really freakin’ funny.

Both Matt Stone and Trey Parker tend toward the libertarian side of the political spectrum. To show how evil the show is, Malkin cites that South Park holds the record for most bleeped words in a single episode. OK... but... does she know why Matt and Trey decided to have the s-word said 162 times in one episode? Because EVERYBODY was flipping out about the s-word being said on NYPD Blue. In an interview, they said they wanted to take it to the absolute furthest extreme possible to point out the absurdity around the media being all a-flutter over a word that we hear daily… but because it was going to be on TV… wow….. *sense of awe*

“Tonight on Cop Drama… stay tuned to hear the word… s***.”
“Ohhhhhh”
[TV Executive] “Next week on Cop Drama… in order to keep it edgy.. lets say s*** twice!”

Did she watch the episode where they call hate crime legislation a “savage hypocrisy?” Or their post 9-11 episode in which they tell people who hate America to get out “Go America. And go Broncos.”? And how could we not forget Mecha-Streisand? People go nuts when Timmy joins a rock band, saying that those with differing abilities shouldn’t do stuff like that. Stan rightly points out that they should be there to support Timmy because Timmy is doing something he really enjoys. The cult of Paris Hilton (and her genius marketing team) gets held to the fire when the young girls of South Park all try to turn themselves into spoiled stupid wh**es. Mr. Slave wins in the wh**e-off against Paris.

Matt and Trey rip on everybody - those on the right, those on the left and especially Canadians and hippies (my favorite episode to date is where hippies take over South Park and they have to enlist hippie-hunter Eric Cartman to clean the nest.)

In Team America: World Police, they chide the US for acting as.. the world police. If there is a problem, the US will solve it... (shameless Vanilla Ice reference). And often the US goes about it in a very hap-hazard way that causes large amounts of damage along the way (seeing Paris leveled was really cool though!) But they smack the UN for being incompetent and only sending strongly worded letters of disappointment - as if that will make a megalomaniac dictator stop!

Malkin says that conservatives should hold themselves to a higher standard in terms of their speech and the entertainment choices they make. I’m sure, by extension, we can talk about the large amount of crap produced by Christian companies as alternatives to mainstream TV shows and radio. I stopped listening to the local Christian stations because the music is almost unbearable. The lyrics are inane and simplistic. The tune itself is often not very interesting. And as Elena said “I want to hear worship music when I’m at worship. If I’m in my car, I want something I can really sing to.”

Are there better choices to make than South Park? Undoubtedly. I didn’t watch the show for 7 of the 8 years it was on but now own the first 5 years on DVD because it is funny. It is pointed. It is intelligent. I certainly wouldn’t let kids watch the show, but adults can make their own choice. Given that it has been on for 9 years and the ratings are still strong, I’d say they have. Malkin’s criticism is nothing new and I doubt anyone will stop watching because she said so.

As Vox said “Deal…”

It came from ebay.....

*dramatic music*

That's a segment on a TechTV show about the odd things found on ebay. So, after a little search, here are some unique "gems":

• Something for the goth kid you know: Transylvanian dirt
• A purple rock. Do you see Jesus in it? Contentants on Survivor may well want to stay away from it as the purple rock could get you booted off the island (season 4).
  
• Need a date, ladies? Well, see this guy... he's trying to be James Bond but somehow.. it just doesn't work. I guess he's more Roger Moore than Sean Connery or even Pierce Brosnon. Or Toggy with "a stagnant future" - his words. Not mine... though I tend to agree.
• Hair cutting fetish? There are videos just for you.
• Lawyers and politicians - this auction is for you. Did you sell your soul to a lobbyist? Get a new one and start all over again!

Not to mention the various folks selling advertising space on their head, their eyes (via contact lenses), or their family... and the one girl begging for college money.

Again... proof positive... people will buy anything.

Bad movies

Do you have a list of movies that you know at the end of your life you want to ask God for a refund on that time because you were duped into thinking it might be funny? (Not like you can.. but hey.. that was supposed to be a joke people not theology.)

I'm talking the movies that are so bad that MST3K couldn't make them watchable?

They are not your guilty pleasure movies (I have one but I can't remember the name of it. I will have to look when I get home. Blade may fall into the category - the original. 2 and 3.. eh. They are alright. Guilty pleasure movies aren't necessarily bad movies... they are the movies you don't exactly admit you like.)

They are not in the category of being so bad that they couldn't become some kind of odd cult hit (like Showgirls. I've yet to figure out how that's become a cult hit. It's un-watchable.)

My list includes: The Master of Disguise, Existo, The Cell, and everything I saw in Experimental Shorts at the Nashville Film Festival. 20 minutes of random lines going across the screen isn't art.... it's a test pattern.

This list is by the folks at GQ. And there are some stinkers on the list. Article language not safe for work... well, it's no worse than some of the language at Nate/Vox's comments so Elena you may want to check it out later.

Question for you: What is the absolute worst movie you have ever seen and why?

A Sith's Revenge - the actual review

What I liked:

• KICK-A$$ special effects... but what else would you expect? Even in Ep. 1 & 2, the effects were good despite the fact that movies themselves were stinkers.
• Great fight sequences - Go R2!!!
• Wookies!
• The Voice of Mordor, er... CNN, James Earl Jones returning to do the Darth Vader voice at the end of the movie... and the breathing. Gave me goose bumps. It was like being 3 all over again and seeing Vader for the first time. If Lucas hadn't done that, I know a riot would have broken out in the theater.
  
• Blessedly Jar Jar and Ewok free though we do see the former for a brief moment at the end of the film but he says NOTHING. The Force was with us!
• Padme's wardrobe significantly improved though the Cinnabon hair-do did make an appearance at the beginning of the film. And dreads? Hello? And.. uh.. unless you are Barbara Bush, do not sleep with your pearls on.
• Very good re-creations of original sets, like the cruiser interior we see at the beginning of Episode 4 is shown in Episode 3.
  

What I didn't:

• Padme going from willful, strong, independent woman to whiny and needy. Ugh. Is this a statement about how women, if they are single they are independent yet when they get married, they rely too much on the man? In the first 2 movies, she is the one making decisions and running around the galaxy saving her planet and Obi-Wan. In Episode 3, I would be hesitant to ask her what kind of jelly she wants on her toast. I don't think she could make a decision. Just as she is torn between love and duty, she would be torn between grape and orange marmalade. But don't offer honey. She may pass out. Leia didn't do that as the movies of the original trilogy progressed.
• The love scene dialogue is... weak at best. Dreadful at worst. There are some other places where the dialogue is pretty stilted and hard to watch. None of it was as bad as Episode 2 where Padme' and Anakin declare their love for each other in 2 different scenes or the lack of real emotion and psychological depth of Anakin reacting to burying his mother. Having buried both of my parents, I was completely disgusted. There was no emotional connection in those scenes as far as the performance goes and the text they had to read from.. well... they could use it as torture devices at Gitmo.
  
• Throwbacks to previous movies got old after a while. (Referenced dialogue, gags, etc...)
• Phallic symbols everywhere... Corusant, Aldaaran. Wowsa. Somebody has some issues.
  
• Needs more Wookies.
  

Empress Kitty needs to hand out some awards:

Best Performance - R2D2. Ranks above Yoda kicking butt and takin' names in Episode 2. R2 has always provided a bit of comic relief in the movies and again, he does not disappoint. Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine was also very good. He is the Emperor and I wanted to stab him with my own light saber. That is if I still had my light saber. My dog Rascal chewed it to bits when I was little and I'm not about to buy a re-issued one from the prequals. Lame.

Most Improved Performance from the last movie - Hayden Christenson as Anakin Skywalker. The boy can actually act. Oh my freakin' word.

Worst Performance - Natalie Portman as Padme'. Girlfriend, you are better than that. Props to the stylists. Your clothing was better.

Missed Character- Qui Gon Jinn. He was supposed to be in this film but was only mentioned as an after thought at the VERY end of the movie... so it was stupid to mention him at all. Incidentally, StarWars.com has hints about deleted scenes by looking at all the characters from the movie.

Conclusion

The Professor (not Instapundit) and I talked about the prequals some time ago. "Episode 1 was Lucas taking my favorite toy, throwing it down on the ground and pissing on it. Episode 2 was Lucas picking it back up and handing it to me as is." I couldn't agree more. Episode 3, however, is a good movie. Not great. But good.

Overall, time will tell if this movie is able to work its way into the pantheon of favorites (currently all spots held by Episodes IV, V, VI) but the series is redeemed. I don't think George should be shot anymore. Maybe just beaten soundly with a stick for thinking that the first two movies in the second trilogy were any good.

Caption Contest Winner

It's Friday afternoon... and it's time to pick a winner. Lots of good entries this time. Y'all definately had the creative hats on! This was a hard decision.

And the winner is...... a tie!

bufelda with

(girl in towel): "Guys! Quit using the Skin so soft, you'll be too greasy, and the pineapple glaze won't stick."

Zach Baker with

I told you ten times Bubba! Eat your beans or this here hottub ain't got no bubbles!

Everyone had great entries this time but bufelda and Zach will have to work out a schedule on who gets to wear the Burger King cardboard crown.

You can't make this stuff up...

Nate was asking why I picked on Vandygirls so much. I just happen to see them more often than Vandyguys but... in the interest of fairness, here's a conversation had this week, taking us into the world of literal customer service...

Vandyguy: I need a form.

PK imagined response: We have about 40 of them---which one would you like?

Elena's much funnier response: Would you like to be a square, a circle, or a dodecahedron?

The End is Nigh!

I can't believe it... I never thought it would be so close...

But... but... there is a contract on my dad's old house and that means that I am almost ready to close the estates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy that I'm shaking. Or it could be the cold air from this large window but hey... whatever! Just a few minor houskeeping things with the banks and.. and it will be done.

It's almost over. My long dark nightmare of being an estate administrator is almost over!

Caption Contest!

Countess Elena sent this photo to me. Totally blogworthy and I think it shall be the subject of our next caption contest. Entries due by Friday morning. Winner announced Friday afternoon.

Random Observation

Certain liberals/feminists must have alot of digestive system problems given the constant upheaval they are in fretting about the war, the Pope and other religious issues, and W.

If they are always so sick and nauseous maybe it's time they just go see a doctor. After all, Pepto can only do so much.

Making Pink turn Red

Duke Diva is currently temping at an artist management group. She called to tell me that this particular group was the management company for none other than Big and Rich. "There's a huge photo of them on the wall.. commemorating 1,000,000 in sales of Horse of a Different Color. And the 3,000,000 sales for Here for the Party by Gretchen Wilson..."

"I'm so jealous. Too bad it isn't likely that they will call. Big and Rich probably have people that make their phone calls for them now."

"Yeah. Talk to you at lunch."

Over lunch:

"PK, I have to tell you this. You are just going to die. Right after I got off the phone with you there was another call. 'May I speak to so-n-so?' 'May I tell them who is calling?' 'Yeah - John Rich.'"
"NO WAY!"
"Yes! John Rich called!"

That totally trumps my VP sighting last week. John Rich is WAY cooler than Al Gore. I think I'm going to have to buy a ticket to Fan Fair.. or whatever it's called now. Big and Rich and Gretchen Wilson are playing on the last night. Must go see... and they are on Nashville Star on Tuesday night.

Right and Bright? Maybe not?

Favorite blogger Jeff G. has related his experience at McDonald's drive-through. This reminded me of my experience when I used to work at the local ice rink. I've probably told this story before but.. you know.. I like it so I'm going to tell it again.

I was in the concession stand and overheard the following:

"What is the difference between nachos with cheese and chili-cheese nachos?"

"Uh... the chili."

Other personal favorites include an exchange with a woman on where the tennis courts were.

"It is straight across the parking lot. Go through these doors to your right; walk straight ahead and go through the doors with the yellow handles."

"But how do I get in?"

"Open the doors with the yellow handles and go inside. The information counter for the tennis complex is right inside."

"But how do I get in?"

"Through the doors with the yellow handles..."

And the woman who handed me her shoes and then said "Sorry they are muddy. I've been in the horse fields all morning." Eww!

Belly Dance Photo of the Week

I'm bringing a legit photo this time! The dancer is Lisa Guiraut and the pictures are from the James Bond movie "From Russia With Love." It's my second favorite James Bond movie.. My personal favorite is Goldfinger. There is another Bond flick that has a dance in it - The Man with the Golden Gun.. but you know... even I have standards. I'm not about to put a picture of Roger Moore plucking the golden bullet from Saida's navel on my blog. You can rent the movie yourself to see it.

Earth Day Round-Up

As you can see, I'm totally down with Earth Day. So, throughout the day, I will be posting links to various Earth-Day friendly folks. It is the 35th anniversary and all.

• Cox and Forkum yell "timber" in their salute to Earth Day.
• Michael Silence has some photos of a Presidential motorcade in Cades Cove.
• Barking Moonbat Early Warning System analyzes the future of the environmental activist movement.
• Nate, the BloggerBlaster himself, renames it "Slap a Hippy" day.
• The lovely and talented Miss O'Hara has her own suggestions on how to celebrate Earth Day. Funny... they look alot like mine. Well, great minds think alike you know.
• Mark Rose at Right Minded dares to think the sun might cause global warming!
• Creed of Kings brings us "A Day in the Life of a Conservative." (a purr to Miss O'Hara) He is taking the evil trees down with him.
• Blogbat has a pledge to be active this Earth Day.
• Vox Day issues a reminder of what today *really* is - Happy Lenin Day.
• And it is the Beverly Hills 90210 guru (among other crappy shows) Aaron Spelling's birthday.
• Anklebiting Pundits remind us of the predictions made 35 years ago about the environment.. and gosh darnit.. we are still here! And something about clubbing seals, too... (via Daly Thoughts).
• A pair of Protest Warrior signs for those that want to take the demonstration offline and kill some trees.
  

How to Celebrate Earth Day the Pink Kitty Way

1) Eat something that used to be alive... like steak or lamb or veal. Humans do not count. Cannablism is never in vogue (unless you are in a plane crash like in that movie a few years back.)

2) Buy an SUV or drive an SUV. Drive it really fast and a long way.. with the AC on and the windows down.

3) Buy gas.

4) Don't recycle! Throw away your plastics, newspaper, tin cans, etc.. in the other trash bin. Fill up the land fill!

5) Since Green is the official color of Earth Day, wear something festive.. like nuclear yellow.

6) Support drilling in ANWR.

7) Wear polyester. Natural fibers are for wimps.

Caption Contest Winners

Well, gentle readers, I've had a couple of different contests running and some winners need to be announced!

In Contest One - the guy with the bonsai tree - the winner is:

Ashley the Blue Raider with:

Yes, Excellent. Soon I will groom you to take over the world, little Bonsai. I will hug you and squeeze you and call you George. Yes. YOU WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!

In Contest Two - male belly dancer extraordinare - the winner is:

Res Ipsa with:

Who needs 72 virgins?

I got rhythm, I got style, who could ask for anything more?

We also learned that Preston is rather fond of sparkly clothes.

Congrats to our winners! I couldn't find another Burger King crown but I have a neato set of Mickey Mouse ears available.

Public Service Announcement

Ace, Allah, and Wizbang have come up with the alert system you see on the right side of the screen so that we can all keep up with grand-poobah of blogging and the man who flip-flops almost as much as John Kerry - Andrew Sullivan.

I'm not sure how long I will leave it up but for the time being, it amuses me.

He gets flustered about gay marriage, every time W sneezes, and now the Pope. His little heart is constantly aflutter!

From the News Desk

Thanks to some government re-shuffling, you are now more likely to die by germs or guns than you are by eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

No mention of bad haircuts, death by vegatables, or crappy movies that bore you to the state of unconciousness where you are then picked up and hauled into the trash by 16 year old ushers who could care less about their job or the fact that one could conduct an archelogical dig on the floor of the theater and discover Jimmy Hoffa.

Celebrity Spotting

Sort of like Camel Spotting.. I take its number and list it in my book. So far at the Film Festival, I've spotted nearly.. oh I would have to say... one.

It's number was 2.

As in Former Vice-President Al Gore.

Yep. He was at the Saturday afternoon screening for High School Record. Ashley the Blue Raider and I were whispering as he and Tipper walked in... attracted the attention of the very-cute guy in the row in front of us. He probably thought we were Music Row Democrats or something.

Here's to hoping I see Mr. Film-guy again.

Overheard at lunch

Scene: A pair of Vandy-girls standing in the middle of the sidewalk chatting.

Girl 1: I'm like.. I'm like.. I'm like.. I'm like.. I'm like.. I'm like.. so I'm like.. I'm like..
Girl 2: So..
Girl 1: I'm like.. I'm like.. I'm like..

Pink Kitty nearly runs down the sidewalk to get away from the sea of likes before being completely swept under.

Somethings are just wrong

Re-making classic movies... colorizing black and white movies... Alabama football fans (heh)... non-cast iron skillet made corn bread.. Sheryl Crow's remake of "Sweet Child of Mine" and male belly dancers like this guy:



As far as I see it, there are 2 roles for men in belly dance. That of spectator and that of musician. And I really detest female dancers who think it is cute to pull men out of the audience.. in fact, they really shouldn't just randomly pull women out of the audience either. I've heard that there were occasions where the professional dancer was up-staged by the audience member.

Happy Monday there fellas! Caption it if you dare! I will announce the winner of the last contest with the Bonsai later this week.

It's that time again...

Last year, I brought y'all daily movie reviews from the films that I saw at the Nashville Film Festival. I don't know that I will do that this year because.. well... I'm seeing more movies than I did last year and just won't have the brain capacity to remember the story.

But I'll be sure to bring the tales of standing in line with the circus folk! Me excluded.. because we all know.. I'm am just that cool. That's way more entertaining.

There were the Che Guevara wannabes playing cards while waiting to get in to the movie.

Then there was the woman next to me who decided that it would be good to pay $8 to see the movie and talk to her friend on the cell phone for about half the time. Fortunately, the movie was loud enough that I didn't hear that much. Therefore, I didn't go postal on her a** as my GREATEST PET PEEVE IS people talking during the movie.. particularly one I haven't seen. I am the SHHH-nazi!

And to my left were the polite fellas who looked like Fat Joe and the Icy Hot Stuntaz rolled into one. Nice cologne. Apparently, the guy is a up and coming Nashville-based rapper. Whee... because I just love gangsta rap. *rolls her eyes* I think I was the only girl not all up in his grill because of who he was.. because I didn't have a clue until the director pointed him out. And I still didn't have a clue after he was pointed out. "Ok. That's cool."

But dude.. matching striped polos for you and your posse is way Montgomery Bell Academy. That's so high school. Your bling doesn't make it any more mature. It really just makes you look like a poser.

Worst shoe of the night goes to the woman who wore pink stilleto granny-style boots to match her pink suede jacket.. and couldn't really walk in her stilletos. I've said it before and I'll say it again - if you can't work the heels, don't wear them that high.

A Lesson for the Ladies

Everything in Nashville is memorialized in song. Vince Gill and his co-writer must be having some issues (or working through past ones) in this song. Just keep what it's about in mind, ladies. Stop gnawing...

She used to call me baby; I thought she was such a lady.
But, my, how things have changed since time's moved on.
I fear for my last dollar, an' all she'll do is holler.
Oh, my life has become a country song.

I've learned she can resist me by the way she always disses me,
An' comes to bed at night with that cold cream on.
Sometimes I might feel frisky, but these days it's just too risky.
It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your a** out all day long.

All day long, it goes on and on.
If a tree fell in the forest, she didn't hear it, would I still be wrong?
I guess I should admit it, she ain't ever gonna quit it:
It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your a** out all day long.

Man, I remember when her eyes used to be so blue an' shiny.
God, you ought to see what's happened to her hiney: (Her what?) Her hiney!
Man, that thing is big enoug to land a small plane on. (Small plane? Your tellin' it. )
I used to roll her in the clover, (Mmm huh!) but, thank God, those days are over.(I believe.)
It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your a** out all day long.

All day long, she gnaws on and on.
If some day, they dropped the big one,
I'd say: "Sweet Jesus, she's finally gonna leave me alone."
It's all right if we say it, 'cause the radio won't play it.
It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your a** out all day long.
It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your a** out all day long.

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips, At Night, (That chew your a** out all day long) by The Notorious Cherry Bombs

Listen to a sample...

My personal favorite line is If a tree fell in the forest, she didn't hear it, would I still be wrong?

I highly recommend the CD.

Scenes at Lunch

On my way back from lunch, I saw the above sign.. it says $21.9 for regular.

You know, it just doesn't seem that far off.

For Res

He asked about animated belly dance photos, well.. I'm going one better.

"Live with Regis and Kelly" - Clip of the Week

The Bellydance Superstars were on Live with Regis and Kelly recently. See Kelly dressed up in a belly dance costume (and not that entirely unfortunately looking.. I've seen some non-dancers pick out the most hideous things. This costume is quite nice.) along with Ansuya (who will be conducting a workshop in Nashville in June), Rachel Brice (my current favorite dancer), and Amar Gamal.

With a little digging, other video clips will be posted soon. Hehe.

Phrase of the Day

patriarchal pseudoscientific essentialist nonsense

From a review of Andrea Dworkin's book Intercourse

I found out that she has passed away, via Bane's blog. I know it's not polite to speak ill of the dead but.. I have nothing nice to say about her. I tried to read this book in my most radical days as a college feminist and I couldn't. I sent it back to amazon after barely finishing the first chapter. I guess it was proof that I really couldn't buy into the movement lock, stock, and barrell.

An interesting note. Ms. Dworkin was married.. she lived with this guy for like 30 years and they got married in 1998. In one of his books:

In this collection of 13 essays, radical feminist [John] Stoltenberg speaks openly and explicitly on male sexual identity and its interrelation with rape, war, abortion , homophobia, pornography, and injustice. His premise is that male sexual identity is a political and ethical construction connected to male supremacy. Based mostly on speeches delivered at colleges, community organizations, and regional and national conferences, his essays exhort individuals, especially men, to learn a new ethic and to examine their acts in view of the consequences for others. This book will enlighten, please, and anger readers.

And...

"Co-founder of Men Against Pornography, Stoltenberg considers himself a radical feminist. These 13 searching essays reflect his belief that male sexuality is an artificial, social-political construct, inextricably linked to widely held assumptions of men's 'natural' superiority over women," reported PW.

According to Fox, they were both openly gay. But since they were gay in opposite directions, they could get married to each other. Makes you wonder why they did? Gloria Steinem got married in her 60's because the institution had changed such that men and women were equal (rough paraphrasing of her words). Or maybe it had to do with taxes and such. I dunno and I don't really care.

It's all about searching...

Which Website are You?

Question for y'all

I've been mulling moving the Scratching Post away from blogger. While blogger has been alright, I've become extremely iritated with its recent outages and for the fact that it likes to eat my drafts of posts for snacky snacks. And PK iritated is not a pretty sight.

I won't be moving it to live journal or xanga. I know that some of y'all are more technically astute than I am.. so I'm looking for recommendations. Hosts, software, etc.. Feel free to post them or send me an email to pink_kitty_post@yahoo.com.

Thanks!

What would happen if...

Kelly Clarkson's new video for Since U Been Gone (where she trashes her ex's apartment) was followed up by CSI.

Because as cool and cathartic as it may be to totally trash the place of someone who wronged you, you are going to leave hair, finger prints and fibers all over the place. And the he's going to tell the police that "Well, I did break up with this girl recently. She didn't take it to well. Her phone number is bla-blah-blah." Then they are going to pick you up, haul you down to the station and once they match that fingerprint on the back of the picture you threw through the glass coffee table you will confess because you are terrified (like all good little girls who do something stupid on CSI) and will do some time for breaking and entering or something.

So, now your little hissy fit wasn't THAT good of an idea was it, Ms. Clarkson?

Website of the Day

Vatican: the Holy See

This is a very cool website. Learn lots of interesting things - like how one becomes a member of the Swiss Guard and Popes going back to 1878.

Freaky Friday Photo

"I'm huge!" If you can think of a funny caption, go right ahead. Maybe Res will win this time. :)

Hi there and Hello!

Welcome to those visiting courtesy of News2! Glad you are here and I hope that y'all will come back and visit.

For my next campaign, I will be trying to reduce my assesment of my home. I'm sorry but it is not worth what they say it is. And it going up over $5000 - just plain ridiculous. Then they are going to try to tax it even more? What? Do they think we are made of money?

My council member, Jason Alexander, was one of only 2 council members to vote against the last property tax increase. I'm hoping his opinion hasn't changed.

Maybe the horn-honkers need to come back.

Reality TV has jumped the shark!

Yes, I have declared it no longer worthy to watch (except for Survivor but even that is getting old.. and the Ultimate Fighter - it's last episode is next week and I don't know if it will make a return appearance).

Why? Why have I said that reality TV is dead?

1) Fabio's Mr. Romance. As if Fabio on TV isn't bad enough. Oh no.. we have a show that, my guess, is about finding the next great guy for the covers of romance novels. Created by Gene Simmons! Gene Simmons of Kiss! Ugh!

Oh my freakin' word. In less than 30 seconds, I nearly lost my dinner. And it was just the commercial! Something about a Romance Academy where they were wearing faux Hogwarts uniforms (it looked alot like the insignia of Gryffindor to me. JK Rowling should sue).. some without shirts (jacket and tie/slacks). Others have ripped the arms off the jacket/shirt.

I need a mint to get the nasty taste out of my mouth.. and a picture of Gerard Butler to get the image out of my head. Or Hugh Jackman. OK.. I feel better.

2) Style's Craft Corner Death Match. This is a show on a network that should know better.

It's a show about crafty people making crap out of other crap. Wait.. didn't TLC do this already on a big scale called Junkyard Wars? That was a cool show.. this.. this.. should be on a network I don't watch - HGTV. Not Style!

Reality TV is dead. Long live..... uh... Mark Burnett I guess.

I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille...

It was only a matter of time before my opinion was sought after. Heh.

WKRN, News 2, asked Blake and I to come down to the station and comment on the letter Chief Serpas sent to us regarding surveillence cameras. The video is now on News2's website. Look for the featured video clip "Metro bloggers speak out against cameras, get mixed results" about halfway down the page. Thanks to News2 for asking. It was fun.

The Professor said that some might think it was hypocritical or something for folks to go on TV to complain about surveillence cameras.

Not me. The more attention the better! :)

Update: The text version is up.

Did you get one?

Elena is handing out some Pretty Polka-dotted Scarf Awards.

I received a couple. So, here is my acceptance speech.

*audience applause, theme music playing. Pink Kitty wearing her favorite dress hurries up to the stage to receive her award*

I would first like to thank God for this wonderful opportunity. With Him, all things are possible. I would also like to thank the member of the academy, which is Elena. I am not sure what I did, but I am glad that I could be there for you, sister! This award proves to the world that I am smarter than I look. My mind isn't just focused on bad taste in clothes... my blog is.

*audience laughs and music begins to play*

Now hold up, I'm not finished Mr. Conductor. I've waited a long time to get up here and you can just wait to play the theme from Terminator for the umpteenth time tonight. Mr. Director, don't you dare cut to commerical.

I would like to thank my blog father, Bill Hobbs. If it wasn't for his blog on the income tax battle several years ago, I wouldn't be here.

Thanks to Michael Schiavo, without whom I wouldn't have a huge rise in hits. I know that as the controversy dies down, so will the hit count but I am going to enjoy it while I can.

I am grateful to Miss O'Hara, who helps proof read a fair number of my posts.

I would like to thank my agent, my lawyers, the accountant, real estate agent, the cook, the baker and candle stick maker.

But most of all, I want to thank you... my dear readers. Without you, I would be typing into a vaccum. Thanks for spending a part of your day reading my blog.

Be excellent to each other and party on dudes.. oh.. no.. that doesn't sound good. Too 1980's. Hrm.. how to end this speech...

Doc Holliday says "What do you want Wyatt?"
"Just to live a normal life."
"There is no normal life, there's just life, ya live it."

Thank you all and have a great night!

*Pink Kitty runs off the stage before security can grab her or the award as the orchestra plays the theme from Terminator - again.*

You know... God planned it that way.

This headline on Yahoo!

Eclipse set for same day as Pope's funeral

The article goes on to talk about how this will boost superstitions that major natural events will herald historical events. How positively medieval of you, Gaston. Next we will hear how boils are a punishment, comets will destroy the Earth (oh wait.. they made some movies about that) and all about the divine right of kings.

Serfs are still needed for Nate's Mountain Fortress. Bring your own burlap.

Supremely Bright Moment

This morning... I took off without my purse. No license. No cash. No lipstick.

Got my tote which has more than enough crap (a copy of the Nashville Scene, a sweater, Nashville Film Festival schedule and some estate stuff) in it but nothing really useful.

Like my lipstick.

Caption Contest Winner

Oh.. the choices, the choices. Many good entries this week. The winner is:

Miss O'Hara with:

"Well...you can buy...popcorn stock...butterflied stock...cajun stock...stuffed stock...coconut stock...lemon stock...jumbo stock...and you can grill it...boil it...bake it...fry it...sautee it...broil it... .... .... and that's about it."

Hahahahahahaha!!!!

Honorable mentions:

Res Ispa with:

Someone needs a Martha Stewart “pick me up” gift basket.

For those days when the Dow and the special prosecuting attorney don’t go your way.

Erik/Nate with variations on:

"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?"

Life at the Ivies must be horrible

Student life at Harvard lags peer schools, poll finds

With books such as the one below... no wonder Harvard students are depressed.

Well, at least she isn't doing Brown. Brown is where students rejected by Harvard go.

Bolsheviks are funny

Stansilov is commenting on this post from last year. He said that we will die beside their boots.

I thought it would be under. Ohh.. are they combat boots? Because that could hurt. If you are going to kill me, could you use Uggs? Just looking at them is enough to make a person go blind. Prolonged exposure could kill a person - they are that ugly.

Caption Contest Friday!

I have one of the Pope but since he is so sick it didn't seem to be in very good taste. However, if y'all don't care, I'll post it.



So.. what's going on with this guy? Describe it or give a possible conversation.

Remember: keep it safe for work. And since Nate is busy with his new baby, someone else might have a chance to win :)