OK. I admit it. I'm a slacker. I read the sparkpeople boards almost daily but don't post. Today is a day I am going to change that. Why?
Because I need to take a real active role in my own weight loss. When I started working with Allison (my dietitian) in November 2005, the weight came off like gang busters. Every week, I went in and lost at least 2 lbs. I know initially, alot of that was water weight. As March and April rolled around, it tapered off to about a pound a week.
I dropped 2 dress sizes in 6 months. I coasted. It wasn't hard work.
When I moved in July, I stopped paying attention to what I was eating. I stopped keeping my food records. I believe the only thing that kept me from ballooning back to my original size was the fact that I exercised alot. Dance classes several times a week. Walking 10,000+ steps per day.
I also toned up quite a bit too. So the time wasn't completely wasted.
This morning, however, I went into my closet and pulled out a pair of pants that I haven't worn since last summer (it's finally warm enough to wear them again). And I couldn't zip them.
I thought I would hyperventilate. I couldn't believe it. Actually... in truth... I can. I've been eating like crazy, especially when I get home from work.
I am still a stress eater. I eat when I don't feel well. I actually would rather exercise but I can't physically do as much as I would like (and my physical therapist wouldn't recommend too much activity anyway until my back and abdominal muscles are stronger). Since I can't exercise much, I eat. And when I've been to the store, I've been buying crap - chips, ice cream.
So, tonight, when I get home, I'm throwing whatever is left out of the chips and ice cream. I don't care if they are barely or un-opened bags or how much they cost. They are gone.
Today after physical therapy, I will be meeting with the coordinator of the fitness center at the rehab place. I can stay on and use their gym for up to 6 months after being released from therapy. It is right across the street from my office. That will make it super convenient to go right after work. You meet with a personal trainer twice at the beginning, again at 3 months and at 6 months (or whenever you would like to pay for their additional services). I know that will be a real benefit to me - to have access to a full range of equipment and expertise. You can only do it alone for so long, you know?
So, today, I'm getting started all over again. I don't know what my weight right now is... probably between [Hey - I'm not putting here for you people - sorry] given that I couldn't zip up my size 18 pants (I know - it does depend on the cut. I put on a size 16 pair this weekend and could almost get them zipped up.)
I am going to stick to under 1700 calories per day. I will actually use the meal tracker. I will start to use some of the recipes. With my therapist and trainer at the gym, I will come up with appropriate exercises. I will eventually get back into my regular dance classes (right now they aren't fun because I hurt! And that frustrates Todd, which frustrates me. We've been snipping at each other. It's just bad.)
I know I can lose the weight. Thanks for letting me rant but I just need to say it out loud (so to speak). Seeing it in print will make it more real. Knowing that other people have read it will make me accountable.
* originally posted on sparkpeople.com *
