Friday, July 30, 2004

I did it!

With the influx of new readers - and many many thanks to the readers without whom this would not be possible...

I am now a large mammal in the TTLB ecosystem! Whoo-hoo!!!

Oh happy day!

Thanks again everyone!

From Elena and Pink Kitty's Redneck Adventure!

Ummm... yeah. Posted by Hello

So, a couple of weeks ago, we were pretty burnt on a Friday after a long week of work. We dolled ourselves up, hopped in my Silverado and hit the town. Dinner and singing like a couple of fools, we wound up over at Opry Mills to people watch and take pictures of stupid things with the camera phone.

This is the only picture to survive the night due to the Empress letting her battery die before saving anything.

Remember the post on nipple enhancement? All the mannequins we saw had nipple enhancement surgery.

We also took a picture of a bag that was made out of 15 different kinds of fur but it was lost. Elena held it up and said "Look! Aunt Mae just couldn't bear to be without her cats. She had them made into a bag!" The sales people thought we were freaks.

A new trend?


Parties aren't exactly new. Neither are parties with themes (and every party I throw has a theme. I tried to suggest to Elena that she give a Martha Stewart's going to jail party but she didn't think that was her.)

Anyway, as a part of my new involvement with Protest Warrior - Nashville, I signed up for a slew of email lists pertaining to leftist (to distinguish from liberals because not all liberals are the spawn of Satan.. just as not all conservatives are wanna-be-Inquisitors) agendas. And I found an item of note: has a party system. John Kerry has a party thing. GWB has a "Party for the President" campaign. Common Cause has a party site. Geez, they are all almost as bad as some of those MLM things like Avon, Pampered Chef, or Amway.

I don't object to this at all. I love a party. I just found it odd. I guess it's a way of suring up your base. Have them hold a party and rally 'round the flag/cause/bonfire.

As an example: :: Party for the President Event

Thursday, July 29, 2004

One of the funniest things I will read today

And you will too...

How I can tell Hillary Clinton is NOT a Raisinette

I've always preferred Goobers myself. Raisinettes get stuck in my teeth. Be sure to follow Jeff's coverage of the Democratic National Convention. Poor fellow was stiffed on the rum for his pina colada.

Not a very manly drink.. but if it's free, who cares.
Because we all love men who are lacking certain body parts

Perhaps Barbara Ehrenreich should talk to Naomi Wolf. But then again, Naomi felt that Al Gore could be considered an alpha male by wearing tan/khaki colors.

Uh.. tan doesn't say "power" or "authority" to me. It says "blends stains well and doesn't show dirt."

So here's this little piece and my response to Ms. Ehrenreich's statements. Venom included at no charge:

Feminist Criticizes Kerry's 'Butch' Image
By Robert B. Bluey Staff Writer
July 28, 2004
Boston ( - Feminist author Barbara Ehrenreich was jeered at Tuesday's liberal "Take Back America" rally when she suggested that Democrat nominees John Kerry and John Edwards had become too "butch" for their own good.

"I feel so exasperated that they can't figure out anything except to try to act butcher than [George W. Bush] when it comes to our international crises," Ehrenreich said. "It looks like the Democrats are too frightened to be labeled 'girlie men' by the party of Schwarzenegger to do what has to be done to protect us in this country."
Funny, I haven't seen anything from Kerry/Edwards but a metrosexual huggy-fest. And nothing remotely butch when it comes to defending ourselves. I've seen women walking around on TV commenting about the convention that are more butch that Kerry or Edwards.
... Ehrenreich, author of Nickle and Dimed: Surviving in Low-Wage America and a columnist for left-wing magazines, said Democrats have their priorities wrong when it comes to fighting terrorism, or as she prefers to say, Islamic extremists.

If she had her way, Ehrenreich said, feminism would be used to combat enemies of the United States. She said Kerry should adopt her philosophy.
Because feminism is as effective as the Armed Forces. Riiiiiiiggght.
"Feminism is one of our nation's proudest exports. We invented it, practically," she said. "You cannot fight the Islamist insurgency with a combination of imperialism and MTV. The only thing Bush has done is serve as [public relations] and recruitment for al Qaeda."
And since the advent of feminism, women have made incredible gains. No doubt about it but at what cost? The right to vote, sex on demand, jury duty, minimum wages, the professionalization of traditionally feminine roles (teacher, day care worker, etc...), abortions, owning property in their own name, higher divorce rates, generations of women asking the question 'is this it?' fed images from the old ads of the 19th century and that women were the angels in the home to flappers to Rosie the riveter to Leave it to Beaver to Feminine Mystique to Mary Tyler Moore to Sex and the City. All have held the promise of self-fulfillment and happiness and many of them have led to a certain level of empty accomplishments.

We can fight Islamist insurgency.. ahem TERRORISM.. with a combination of rockets, the Marines, the Army, and tanks. If they are dead they can't very well kill us. Combine killing the terrorists with exporting representative government where the people have the authority over their elected officials (something rapidly disappearing in the US)

And toppled a dictator who killed thousands upon thousands of people. Freed 2 countries in 2 years. Give America's economy a shot in the arm. Bring dignity and class back to the White House. Reduce our taxes. Run up the deficit. Limit freedoms in the name of self defense (sorry Bush fans - there is good and bad.)
As for the Democratic National Convention, Ehrenreich said it was unfortunate that each day was labeled with "butch" themes. She noted that in 1992, Democrats made women the focus of their convention, something she said was missing this year.
Women always need to be the focus. There's nothing else going on in the world other than what Ms. Ehrenreich, Eve Ensler, Gloria Steinham, What's her name Garofolo, Oprah, Hillary, and Susan Sarandon think about.

No jihad in Sudan. No persecution in China. No threats of violence in Israel. No porous borders and possibility of terrorists entering through Mexico. No weapons of mass distruction being made in Iran. No terrorist training camps through out the Middle East.

Wait! I just made a connection. The European governments are feminist. They think we can stop terrorism if we all sit in a circle and talk about our feelings and then give each other hug! Hugs solve everything! They make everything better! Like 9/11 was a skinned knee.

To borrow the feminist rhetoric: 9/11 was rape. 9/11 was an act of violence committed on the US. And just like the feminists want to damn a man with just an accusation (no evidence actually needed.. just her word), we should go after the known rapist and stop them. We've stopped two and are hot on the heels of the third. Iran, keep it up. We'll get you next. And we'll make you wear a little home monitoring bracelet because you've been naughty!

Shame! Oops.. feminists would call for the castration of a rapist - of all men - because men are evil and all sex is rape. Why should our response to known terrorists be any different then what their reponse to a rapist be any different? Women are good, perfect, angelic creatures who never ever fight and live in harmony with each other and nature. And we are always right.

*long pause*

Had to pick myself back up off the floor.. I'm ok now. Whew.

Source: Feminist Criticizes Kerry's 'Butch' Image -- 07/28/2004

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

A phone conversation

Elena was sharing her new interest in the 14th amendment of the Constitution. So we spent an hour talking about the Constitution and hence the following snippet of our discussion for your.. pleasure:

Pink Kitty: There's a repeal the 19th amendment movement brewing.
Elena: There are some Vox Volk that would be supportative of that.
PK: Spacebunny...
Elena: I would support limiting voting to just property owners.
PK: Property owners. Not renters.
Elena: So you would get to vote.
PK: I own 4 pieces of property. I get to vote 4 times.
More is best

Since celebs need new ways to indulge in excess and walking the red carpet in Badgley Mischka and Manolo's just won't do anymore, MTV has done it.

The red carpet is out.

Riding in by boat is in.

The Empress' advice to the celebs going to the VMA's - watch your step. Your stilleto may get caught when you are climbing out of the boat and fall into the water.

Oh.. that would be funny.

Yahoo! News - Jay-Z Tops MTV Music Video Award Nominations
You are SO Nashville if....

The Nashville Scene has a contest every summer with the above name. It's about the quirks that make Nashville like no other place on earth....


Alot of them you won't really get if you haven't lived here for at least a couple of years but I've pulled a select few that should bring a chuckle to everyone.

You are so Nashville if...

... you need a war to sell records.

... your first visit to the Frist Center was a bummer when you realized that the El Greco exhibit did not feature the former Titans kicker.

... you went to see The Passion of the Christ instead of going to church during Easter week.

... when the CMA Music Festival and Bonnaroo happened in the same weekend, you were sure from the local news you should head straight to Kroger to stock up on bread, milk and toilet paper.

... you spent your TennCare co-pay on lottery tickets.

... you consider yourself more Passion of the Christ than Fahrenheit 9/11.

... you remorsefully went to Tower Records to replace your Dixie Chicks CDs on your way home from seeing Fahrenheit 9/11. Empress' note: boo... hiss... lies and more lies.

... your Individual Retirement Account is called PowerBall.

... you use your Jevon Kearse jersey as a rag. Empress' note: add Eddie George jerseys to the rag pile.

... upon seeing the success of Gretchen Wilson's "Redneck Woman," you just know Keith Urban will follow with his own "Redneck Metrosexual."
Funniest thing I've seen all day

"...corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie-chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention."

I like the phrase granola crunchy, too. I bet they have pink t-shirts that say "Keep Bush out of my bush" or something else 'witty' like that.

WorldNetDaily: Put the speakers in a cage - Ann Coulter

Monday, July 26, 2004


I spent 25 minutes on hold to speak to someone for 3 minutes... and fax the SAME material to them...

And wait 48 hours before they can tell me anything.

Clue Bat...

OK... Why is it that when I offer Chase Mortage money they won't take it?

Thus far, I've been on hold for 10 minutes while certain customer service person finds out what is owed to reinstate the mortage.

This has been going on for a month now. My attorney - and Chase's attorney in Arkansas (because they've threatened to foreclose) thought the whole thing was stupid when I explained the situation.

Dad dies. Leaves yours truly to figure out what the heck is going on...

Yours truly made an error and mortage fell behind.

Yours truly has been trying to fix it for 30 days now and no one will tell me squat because I'm "not on the account."

"What do you mean? I've sent the administrator papers and death certificate. What else do you need?"
"It's gone to so-n-so department for approval..." (meaning - it's gone down the black memory hole of death)
"I'm trying to send you money..."
"I'm sorry but I can't tell you what's owed because..."
"I know - I'm not on the account. Thanks."
*hangs up*


On hold for 15 minutes and counting.....

Tomorrow is my birthday!

Tomorrow is my birthday!

Tomorrow is my birthday!

Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Finding more things

Whatelse did Pink Kitty, Elena, and Duke Diva find at my dad's store this weekend:

Enough civil war bullets to make your head spin... I think every bullet shot in Franklin was in this store. (slight exaggeration but not by much.)
coins... lots and lots of coins.
another .22 pistol. I know have a matching set.

"I bet you see two of me."
"That's why I've got 2 guns - one for each of ya..." (sort of - don't remember the line exactly)


Friday, July 23, 2004

Pink Kitty's Adventures

I had to go back to the shop this evening to cover the aforementioned dumpster with a tarp so the rain wouldn't completely soak all of the paper and cardboard inside.

I pull up and their are two "women" in the dumpster.

Redneck, hillbilly lesbian wome.. er.. well, I think you all now the less PC word that would be more appropriate. Starts with a "d" and rhymes with "pike." (censored for those people who read this at work.)

Digging through the dumpster and reading the outdated manuals we had pitched 3 hours before.

And do I mean redneck.. one woman was missing a couple of teeth. The other had that butch sort of spikey-on-top haircut.

I jump out of my car, very perturbed at people trespassing and making me wish that I was armed with the aforementioned Sig Sauer P230. Since I wasn't, I decided not to say anything for a moment and unroll the tarp.

And they continued to dig.

I put the tarp ON the dumpster and they continued to dig. I finally said "There is nothing in here that would be of interest to you. It's all out of date manuals so if you are going to dig through my trash and trespass on my property, the very least you can do is get out of the way so I can put this tarp on before it starts raining. Better yet, you could HELP me put this tarp on before it starts raining."

At which, they jumped out of the dumpster and helped me cover it with the tarp. I tacked it down and am hanging out here for a bit to make sure it stays down.


My week of vacation is almost up (which also explains my lack of posting - I've been doing things away from the computer!)

Time for PK's Estate Administration 101:

1) Don't die - Ever.
2) If #1 is not an option, clean up your house/business before you pass away if at all possible. Ask for help. Keep your place clean and not a pig stye. It's a lot easier to do when you are alive than when you are dead.
3) If faced with a situation where you are cleaning out multiple properties, pick one and just get started. Hire teenage boys to help you haul the big stuff to the dumpster you've rented to throw EVERYTHING away. Pay them well and let them keep some of the things they like.
4) Sell: estate, going-out-of-business, yard, ebay, amazon. If it's in reasonable condition (unfortunately most of what my dad had is crap), sell it. If it doesn't sell, put it in the dumpster that's still in the front yard.
5) Beat up your brother for getting called up, leaving you to deal with all this by yourself and then having the audacity to tell you how to do things from 800 miles away. How dare the US government intrude on what is obviously more important!
6) Invest in really good work gloves and possibly a hazmat suit for the hard cleaning. Or just hire someone else to do it.

What did the Empress find when she was cleaning out her dad's house and business this week:

various and sundry nasty adult things. porn. (now do you see why #2 is important? do you want your children to know you have these things?)
his wallet.
diamond rings.
pencil sketches my long dead granny did for my dad when he opened his new location - Robert E. Lee, Nathan Bedford Forrest, and U.S. Grant.
enough ammunition to have a fantastic time at the gun range - you fellas would have shed a tear.
cancelled checks from 1983.
a bird's nest in the attic.
computers older than the boys helping me clean out the building. enough dust to make you wish you had a respirator.
nasty-a$$ decomposing sausage.
more mini-balls than you can shake a stick at (mini-balls are civil war era bullets for those not too into relics).
the original box for the Sig Sauer P230 (mine. i told my brother there was no way he was getting that pistol. he has the rifles. ::sighs and smiles:: )

I'm still looking for the Walther 9mm. If I can't find it, I'm going to be VERY upset.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

On a theme

Selfishness.... not mine. Someone else.

For the record: this is the second attempt to write this post. The first ended with me getting ready to press the "publish" button and Netscape crashing. I hate computers.

Anyway, Bravo has a new show "Things I hate about you." The premise is couples make their case for who is more annoying. Through videotape, we see all sorts of bad and annoying behavior - farting/belching, soliciting backrubs from everyone, constant announcements of lists, and possibly purposeful forgetfulness.

It was the very first episode and I think I've seen the best moment of the show. Patrick's gripe is that Renee loves her dog more than him. She sings to him, takes for ever to say goodbye, sings songs about him and on and on. Conversation in point:

Patrick loves Renee so much that he takes allergy medication to be with her. He's highly allergic to Samson (the dog). One day, he's run out of medication and talks about how much he's been sneezing and itching.

Renee: Do you want to sleep on the couch tonight? Because of your allergies, you know....
(PK's response - jaw drops in floor, yells at tv "WHAT?!, real Empress Kitty wakes up and looks annoyed, goes back to sleep)
Patrick: How about Samson sleep on the couch?
Renee: Samson needs to sleep. He can't sleep on the couch.
Patrick: I need to sleep. I have to work tomorrow.
Renee: He's not allergic. I'm not allergic.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you read that right. She actually suggested that her boyfriend sleep on the couch instead of the dog. Elena knows I love my cat. But, we do have well defined pet/human relations. At a certain point, I exercise my God-given right at the top of the food chain and remind her that I am, in fact, the human. Without me, the cat food would not be replenished, the string not tossed, and the litter not cleaned.

And, I would have no problem letting Her Royal Highness sleep elsewhere if there was a significant other in my bed. I thought I was selfish.. maybe I'm not so bad after seeing this.

Renee saw no problem at all.. AT ALL.. with placing her dog above her boyfriend. "Is it wrong to love your dog?" She was actually offended that Patrick would have a problem with Samson. She said he was jealous.

Patrick won the overall scoring and his prize was a new Gibson guitar and for Samson to sleep in the couch for a week. Renee made a big ol' fuss and eventually slept on the couch with the dog so the dog didn't get lonely.
Michael Moore: The Musical Man

So many tunes; so little time Posted by Hello

- I'm working on the lyrics to the song that match this picture. I'll post them shortly. -

Feel free to add your own in the comments.


Let's also play "count the liberal words:"

There's dialoge and progressive. Because we people in the fly over states are just a bunch of Republican hacks who fail to grasp anything other than the party line. We need to be educated by great men such as Michael Moore who see things... differently.

- end sarcasm -

Monday, July 19, 2004

And now for something completely different

It all started yesterday. I read the article referenced on Vox's blog about the woman who selectively aborted two of the three boys she was carrying.

And like a California wildfire, it's spread around the blogosphere (see Misha, Michelle Malkin, Allah, and Bill at INDC.. and probably 100 other blogs).

Here's my $2... because everything the Empress has to say is worth more than a couple of pennies...

I met Amy Richards once. Amy wrote the original NYT Magazine article that started the whole uproar in detailing the story of one of her friends. Amy co-wrote a book called "Manifesta." "Manifesta," which I have buried somewhere and have yet to read, is supposedly about a new generation of young women who believe in the ideas of feminism but don't call themselves feminists. They have no problem with Barbie. They like to dress like girls and shave their legs. They want to be successful in their career and have a family eventually.

So Amy and Jennifer came to campus to talk about their book. I just couldn't pass up the chance to listen.. and pounce. They talked about how feminism is for everyone...

My way in...

Another student in the audience questioned them about a group called "Feminists for Life." They stated that you could not call yourself a feminist and be "anti-choice."

My hand shot up for the next question.

"Hi. Thanks for coming. Here's my question. You just said that feminism is for everyone but then said that feminists who are pro-life aren't really feminist. Why am I, as a Christian and a libertarian, not welcome in feminist circles? As a libertarian, I am in favor of equal rights for everyone - and for women to rely on their own strength and not on government assistance as seems to be the driving point behind many contemporary feminist organizations. Their solution is more government involvement. As a Christian, I want to help women out of a call from my faith to serve. Why is it, with the labels, of Christian and libertarian attached to my beliefs, am I shunned?"

Or something like that.

Amy responded that feminism wasn't about politics. (I tried really really hard not to laugh out loud out of respect for the speakers.) That all points of view are welcome but if you are anti-choice...

"But you are taking away their choice to hold their own beliefs! Isn't feminism more than abortion? Isn't it more than a Democratic Party point of view?"

The director of the women's studies program gave me a death stare.. along with the other of dozens of confused and irked students.

To the speakers’ credit, they were polite. They attempted to respond to my question. As I felt the mood in the crowd shift to lynching me from one of the trees, I backed down but felt my point was made. They were intellectually inconsistent. Much like GWB stated shortly after 9/11 - either you were with them or with the terrorists (those that were pro-life.) Out in the lobby, a couple of the students came up to me and said “thank you! I’ve always felt like I was not a feminist because I am a Christian. Thank you for saying that.”

Back to the article, beyond the fact that Peter (the boyfriend) said very little either for or against the choice, here is what troubled me the most:

I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk-up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bed rest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?

Me, I, me I, me, I... me memememememememe. Is your voice warmed up and ready for stage? Because, apparently, it's all about you Ms. Diva. Roses and cheese to go with your w[h]ine will be delivered to your dressing room.

It is just more evidence of exactly how selfish we as a society are. No personal responsibility. It's all about choice - which option is the most personally comfortable so that I can maintain my plush lifestyle. The choice made by a woman who is better educated than most men in the world.. a woman who already had one abortion (in her late teens).. a woman who is independent, intelligent, self-sufficient, and blessed to live in a country where she can make such a choice.

William J. Pellas had this to say on Allah's blog:

Certainly, militant radical feminism is one of the worst and most pernicious evils of our time. It is not, nor has it ever been, about "equality" or "freedom of choice" or any of the other high-minded rhetoric with which their agenda used to be clothed and presented. Rather, it is about the creation of a specially privileged socio-economic class, and about enshrining that class as sacrosanct, never having to face any kind of moral or scholarly scrutiny or accountability. This class depends for its existence, enrichment, and justification on a never-ending, never-resolved series of constantly shifting, bogus "historical" claims and grievances. Said claims and grievances are never abandoned regardless of the objective situation because they are the tools that provide the feminist establishment with its leverage for blackmailing the rest of society. The end result? Pure, unadulatered, cynical, post-modern, nihilist narcissism that sees nothing wrong with slaughtering twin brothers in the womb. This, after the "mother" went willingly off the pill. And the "father" stands meekly by, Ahab in cuckolded submission to Jezebel. God help us all.

But it got me to thinking. Saturday, Elena and I went on our vintage shopping adventure through Berry Hill (a hip part of Nashville that is full of little shops). My nana's house is in Berry Hill and I'm planning on renovating. Pink Kitty will have a little pink house.. and it will be fabulous... I've got it all designed and decorated in my head.

I said to Elena "I want to be like other young professionals. I've given up the last 5 years to care for sick parents and grandparents and a younger brother who just wasn't ready to be on his own yet.” I said some other stuff, too but don’t recall. Point is: it was all about me. Not completely buying the Sex and the City hype/lifestyle but very close. I see the people my age buying the fixer-up homes close to campus or the lofts under construction downtown. I want to be closer to work and to my friends. I want the more professional job that gives the money to buy cool clothes, shoes, gadgets, travel, etc… I want to be able to walk to restaurants or around a neighborhood where I don’t have to worry or have a place to invite my friends over and enjoy their company.

I was cueing up for my solo on the whining stage. The difference between the woman in Amy’s article and myself is that I haven’t had an abortion. But I’m just as selfish.

Believe me, I was just as outraged at this woman as many people are at the idea she eliminated some of the consequences of her decision in a way that we find reprehensible. I was just as ready to build the gallows to hang her high. But her actions are a product of contemporary American society. Can you condemn her and not the source?

More is better. It’s all about you. Manolo Blahniks are the shoes to have. Sex has no consequences. Watch the latest show and read certain magazines to prove that you are in-the-know and with it. Drink such-n-such because it’s the cool drink. Spend, spend, spend – debt is just fine. You’ll pay it off later.

Everything is a commodity – bought and sold. Children are the newest accessories. Why are we so surprised?

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Something for Nate

On his blog, Nate complained about the lack of classic country music on the radio. Just so he knows, 103.3 in Nashville, played Johnny Cash "Ring of Fire" the other night.

Friday, July 16, 2004

Silly things Friday

I need something to make me laugh.. so, just think about this:

Moonbats (my new favorite phrase. To learn about moonbats, go here. Warning: some not-safe-for-work language but very funny!)

Camel Spotting

'He's a lumberjack and he's ok. He sleeps all night and work all day... He cuts down trees, He skips and jumps. He likes to press wildflowers..'

Dead Parrots (see the Monty Python theme here?)

Bill Engvall in the Buffalo Airport: "Excuse me Ma'am, you lost my luggage."
Attendant: "Has your plane landed yet?"
Bill: "No, Princess. I'm having an out of body experience. I'm just checking on it. Here's your sign."

Ron White: I was drunk in a bar... they threewww me into public! Arrest them!

Ron White: They call me... tater salad.

I know, I'm breaking one of the seven-deadly sins of blogging by not saying anything substantial but I am unrepentant! It's been a hell of a week.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

From the Duh files

"In the green

The state collected a jaw-dropping $103 million more in revenue than expected last month, putting the budget surplus at a sweet $380 million. Whatever your view of the state's tax structure, it's difficult to argue with the fact that state government coffers seem to be making it just fine without a state income tax."

Nice to see The Scene's "we don't care how it's funded so long as its funded.. but don't use the tobacco money" attitude is alive and well.

Maybe we can finally put the nail in the coffin of the proposed state income tax.

Nashville Scene
Big Brother is watching...

[Bill] Gates' vision of television of the future was: "TV that will simply show what we want to see, when we want to see it. When we get home, the home computer will know who we are from our voice or our face. It will know what we want to watch, our favourite programmes, or what the kids shouldn't be allowed to see."

It may not be totally Orwellian but I do not like the fact that my home computer would know all that about me. That home computer could be connected to marketing databases to customize the advertising.. and give me more advertising.. in all sorts of different forms.

"Hi PK. This is your refridgerator. I wanted to tell you that you are out of cheese. Your regular brand is Kraft American Singles. Kroger has a coupon for a package of 16 slices this week. You may also want to look into expanding your horizons into other cheeses that will compliment pastas, sauces, and meats very well. Gorgonzola is wonderful on a steak."

Yahoo! News - DVDs will be obsolete in 10 years: Bill Gates

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

That's just frightening

Wow... Posted by Hello

I mean... would you want to go on a diet with that guy in the ads? I think he's teeth have been bleached too much... the sunless tanning didn't react well with his skin.

*Update* I finally figured out who he looks like. He looks like either a guy from Cirque de Soliel or an African tribe that I saw in National Geographic.
Because I know you love quizzes so much

Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You?

Things that make you go...


Sunday morning after church, I was sitting in the coffee area with another young woman. We were talking about the message and the up coming mission trip when the 3-year old class comes out re-enacting Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt. It's a group full of little ones I know - they spent over a year with me in the 1 and 2's room. One child was up in front, leading all the others through the school.

Jay, the teacher and mom of one of the three year olds said, "Pink Kitty, did you hear what Dalton (her son) said?"

"No, I didn't. What did he say?"

"He said, 'Look, mom! There's my friend!' "

Dalton ran up, gave me a hug and God said it was good. There wasn't a thing that could ruin Sunday for me after that.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

A different kind of personality test

Jenny Turpish Slapped Me: Quizzes - Better Personality

At least I'm not a hippie. As Cartman says "Don't do drugs. If you do drugs, you'll become a hippie. And hippies suck."

The analysis I received:

You are an SEDF--Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you an evil genius. You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting.

Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable.

You are not to be messed with. You may explode.

Let them know what we think of Disney Laws

It will take you less than a minute to copy/paste the addresses and text into your email.

Support Israel defending itself. Keep the wall up and the terrorists out!

This Blog Is Full Of Crap - Message to the EU and UN

hat tip: Emperor Darth Misha
War Cries

I just had a thought. Erik said that "The Mormons are coming" is priceless. It's almost as funny as Porcus' "The Pigs are in the azaelas" war cry.

That story makes me laugh so hard I cry every time I think of it.

(I can't find the original link to the story but did find it reposted in the comments section of Vox's blog - linked above.)


Our favorite Aussie, Jaime R, blogged a few days ago about killer kangaroos. They are dangerous and must be stopped. They make really cool hats. I have one. I love the look on people's faces when you tell them you are wearing something made out of kangaroo. Priceless.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Use of our vocabulary

When I saw this question "Military action that defies international law is sometimes justified."

I replaced it mentall with "Military action that defies Disney law is sometimes justified."

Then it made sense.

The Zoo: The Blogosphere Political Compass Project
Something amusing for your afternoon

Rock, Paper, Saddam!
Be careful what you say there Botox Boy

Regarding John Edwards lack of experience:

"Don't get suckered into the how many years you've been in one job or this job" debate, Kerry said. "You've got people in [Washington] who have been in one job [for] 30 years of what you call experience, and they have done nothing, they don't stand for anything and they don't know how to fight.

Emphasis mine.

Sounds like a self-description if you ask me. Like your inability to make up your mind about budget cuts, the war on terror, whether or not you like John Edwards at all, to attend Senate votes, etc....

Yes some of my sources are biased. Do you think that the DNC is going to publicize this information?

FrontPage :: Kerry Exposed by Yahoo News
Empress Kitty and the liberals

Which Conservative Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

hat tip: Miss O'Hara.

As an aside, I've received such a wonderful welcome by those in the Rocky Top Brigade. Many of them commenting on my feelings about liberals. Let me clarify...

Liberals aren't bad people.

They have bad ideas. :)

Then again, so do many conservatives/Republicans.

We can still go out have a beer, some ribs, and have a great time. We'll just not talk about politics. That's what I have to do with Elena's sister, Ashpanazz. We do not agree at all.. and after a while, we just agreed to set our disagreements about taxes (for example) aside and just be friends.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

In the world of people with nothing better to complain about

Since when was clothes line placement a human rights issue?

This article, found at, tells us about Housewives' 'mafia' and the war of the washing lines

Can't technology take care of this? Dryers?

This reminds me of a story. When I was 11 or 12, I went to a YWCA summer camp at a local high school. We were out in front of the school and decided to split into two groups on either side of the street. We lined up and pretended to be playing tug of war with an invisible rope.

Cars actually stopped.

And when one finally zoomed by we all fell forward as though he burst through the rope. It was quite funny.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

New Phrases for the Blogosphere

In our discussion of the effectiveness of the UN, Rocky, schmeg, and I have come up with a pair of new phrases...

Baby-blue caps for the UN representatives (after those fashionable berets and helmets that would do wonders to hide you in the field).

Disney laws after the entertaining and cartoonish idea of "international law" handed down by the United Nations, the Hague, and other trans-national bodies.

Cornpone: Baby-Blue Caps Staved Off (For Now)
Gives a whole new meeting to staring at a girl's chest

Instead of seeing boobs, you may be watching the boob tube. The article goes a little bit into the philosophy of advertising (perhaps Ms. O'Hara would like to chime in - our resident ad-girl). On person expresses his discomfort with the growing trend in advertising to be more in-your-face and obnoxious. After all - any press is good press.

Could you imagine if they put a giant TV screen on a billboard beside the interstate? There would be even more wrecks. If it isn't illegal already, state legislatures and city councils will line up to make it so. It's easy legislation to pass. Unlike budgets for example that require actual thought and debate. But we all know that they will drone on forever about the need to protect the children and provide for public safety by banning walking tv sets.

'Billboards' that walk, talk, and even flirt a little |

hat tip:
Moore gets slapped

I just wish it was with a potato sack of large bricks. Oops.. I said that outloud.

Anyway, I can't remember who to give the hat tip to.. I did alot of blog reading this morning, but I did not find this article all by my lonesome.

Just to point this little bit out:

(Moore writing in a column for the LA Times) "As a young boy, I loved the American flag. I'd lead my younger sisters in patriotic parades up and down the sidewalk, waving the flag, blowing a whistle and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance over and over until my sisters begged me to let them go back to their Easy-Bake Oven."

(Lileks) I’ll take his word for that.

(Moore) I loved singing the national anthem. I won an essay contest on "What the Flag Means to Me." I decorated my bicycle with little American flags for a Fourth of July parade and won a prize for that too. I became an Eagle Scout and proudly promised to do my duty to God and country. And every year I asked to be the one who planted the flag on the grave of my uncle, a paratrooper who was killed in World War II. I was taught to admire his sacrifice, and I hoped to grow up and do my part, as he had, to keep us free."

This is every stinking personal statement for graduate school I'v ever read. It's about them. I... I... I... me, me, me - the hardships I faced. The imagery of a 4 year old standing on a street corner with life ahead of him and now at 45, he's a washed up whatever, divorced, beaten-down, bitter, and angry. And now how that image of the 4 year old is going to spur him to change things.

Never any talk of research.. of a question to investigate. Just lots of um.. stuff.. about social justice.

Which will be even worse if I am offered the job as a counselor at the law school. I thought it was bad in education. I am such a glutton for punishment.

LILEKS (James) The Bleat
Whisky is alright...

But that song by Toby Keith is annoying. Geez. CMT played the video for Whisky Girl 3 times in a row!!!!


the other day, all 3 country stations in Nashville had the song on at the same time.

Friday, July 09, 2004

Monty Python!!!

The Holy Grail live and in person. That is one of the funniest movies ever made.

"1, 2.. 5." "Three, Sir" "Right, 3!"

"We are the Knights who say Ni! Get thee a shrubbery."

"She turned me into a newt... I got better."

See the Marxist post linked there on the right for more Monty Python.

Yahoo! News - Lead Trio Set for Broadway-Bound Monty Python Show

If I had the money, I would travel for this show but you know tickets are going to be out the ears.
Why buy the milk when you can get it for free?

The Book of Mormon will now be available in a hard back edition, with less features for $25.

But the free paper back version has footnotes and stuff.

Free... or... $25....?

Of course it makes sense. Wouldn't you rather buy something that you can get for free elsewhere? But at least if you buy it at the store, the little Mormons won't come knocking on your door.

I have 2 stories about my encounters with Mormons.

The first was when I was 16 and I opened the door to a pair of very cute Mormons in their white shirts, slacks and ties. I opened the door because they were cute.

My mom heard us talking, came barrelling out of the other room and said something about being Baptist, we weren't interested.. thanks for stopping by and shutting the door. My response.. "But mooooom!"

Second story: several years ago, my brother and I were on our way home and we saw the tell tale bikes up the street. We got in the driveway and said "The mormons are coming!" I pulled the car all the way up in the drive and we shut the door and kept all the lights off so it looked like no one was home.

I know it's a part of their faith for the young men (and select few women) to serve as missionaries.. but.. no. PBS had a special a while back on the Mormon missionaries. The training was very cult-like. And the young women are encouraged to marry only returned missionaries.. which then kind of puts pressure on the young men to be missionaries.

It was pretty balanced with those who enjoyed their experience and had their faith strengthened and those who bolted from the church later.


Thursday, July 08, 2004

Rocky Top Brigade

I am now a member of the Rocky Top Brigade. Yee-haw. :)

Welcome to any and all new readers. Glad to have you around. Post as you please. Don't pet the kitty. Don't feed the liberals. And have a good time!

South Knox Bubba

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Because we all know how successful they were in Kosovo

And Iraq, and Rwanda, and Sudan. The UN has decided to apply its considerable talents to defeating the bane of computer users: spam.

If I were a spammer, I would be laughing so hard, I'd pee on myself with this bit of news. I think the only way spam can be reduced (like junk mail, it will never be eliminated) is the continual efforts of private programmers who are paid to create new filters to get rid of the spam.

Since switching to yahoo, I only get maybe one piece of spam a week that makes it to my inbox. The rest gets dumped into a bulk mail folder. And it didn't take any government subsidies to fund it. It took that other annoying internet thingie - pop-up ads. But Netscape blocks those, so now my surfing experience is pretty dog gone pleasant.

My Way News

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Thoughts on Owning Sexuality

I heard this phrase three times this past weekend and decided to give some more thought as to what “owning sexuality” means.

First, the context – where I heard the phrase:
1) Gene Simmons on VH1’s “When Playboy Ruled the World” special in a discussion of the merits of the magazine and wild parties at the Mansion.

2) A&E’s special “Cleavage.” A burlesque performer listing the benefits of burlesque as opposed to modern day stripping. She said something to the effect of 'women in burlesque are owning their sexuality. They are determining how and when their clothes come off.’ My first thought was that the women who work at Déjà Vu do the same thing but I think she was getting at the difference between burlesque and stripping in terms of class, character, and the art of teasing as opposed to rubbing super-sensitive body parts in faces and against other super-sensitive body parts.

3) In this month’s issue of Glamour magazine. An article on spring break and how the girls in Cancun go insane during the month of March. Some of the women interviewed said their wild, promiscuous behavior was about “owning their sexuality.” They also saw spring break as a rite of passage, something they had to do and experience. (Empress’ note: I like to remember my good times… being piss-drunk on a smelly beach with other smelly people doesn’t qualify. Nor does waking up in someone else’s hotel room and wondering ‘how did I get here?’)

My questions:

1) Is sexuality an object, like a toaster, that can be owned? Does one purchase it in a store? I’ve never seen it in Target.

2) Why is it that in order to own your sexuality, you need to be doing something risqué and promiscuous? Can one be modest and more feminine and still own her sexuality. I’m not sure they really know what it means to own your sexuality. I’m not sure I do – which is why this entry was started in the first place.

3) Do we EVER hear that phrase applied to men?

The answer to question 3 is “No, because men’s sexuality rises up to greet us. It’s quite visible.”

So, what does it mean to own your sexuality? As Elena pointed out in our discussion of this subject (between fits of laughter at the thought of sexuality being available in the toaster aisle), they may be getting sexuality and sensuality confused. Sexuality is determined by biology for the most part, despite what the theorists say. I’m female and am attracted to men. Simple enough. Sensuality, on the other hand, is what I do to make myself attractive to men – looking like a girl as opposed to some freakish uber-frau for example.

Sensuality can be purchased. Make-up, perfume, new clothes, new shoes, more shoes, more dresses, lipstick… oops sorry. The external mixed with what’s in here *points to her skull* creates sensuality. And I am very old school about this. I don’t need to truck down to Daytona, do a handstand on stage and have some random guy eat whipped cream off my coochie (yeah – the picture was in the article. *shudder*) to declare that I’m a woman.

Hear me roar.
Bug bites galore

I saw something about the ACLU suing on behalf of a nudist children's camp.

I think if I were a parent trying to decide where to send my kids to camp, a nudist colony isn't going to be on the list. Moral issues aside, do you really really want to expose that much skin to mosquitos?

I don't want a bug bite on my..... I'll just let you fill in the details. That would be very awkward to scratch it.
Left scratching my head

Maybe there are some intelligent signs of life out there. In a visit to this morning, I clicked over to their message boards to see what fodder I could find to blog about. Given the network's leaning-tower-to-the-left stance, I thought I would find lots of Bush-bashing, lovey-dovey liberals all over the place.

I was wrong. In the "Fight for your rights" section, I went several pages deep to see what was there. The occasion stupid post like "9/11 didn't happen" or "Christianity sux" popped up. What surprised me, though, were the posts taking on Michael Moore and F9/11. They don't like the movie. They are also supportive of Bill Cosby's recent comments that black people need to stop being victims and take responsibility for their own lives and own community.

Then you get this genius - jmilfker (age 15 and loves Blink 182):

anybody that is against michael moore's movie is a dumbass little douche who overheard your republican mom yelling at your dad about the movie, sorry if REALILY is bad for the soul your in the wrong place, can you handle life?
Well, im a young democrat, so kiss my ass. Just because your mommie and daddy rake in lots of money, you dish on moore....good one. Heres a bush slogan for ya, Bush/Cheany 04': leave no millionaire behind. call it want you want but call it, cause your wrong


It is almost not worth the energy to respond to such a Rhodes Scholar. But it wasn't worth it for me to register and rip him a new one. That was just too much effort to give MTV my vitals to open an account.

It certianly won't become a place I frequent on a regular basis. The IM lingo became hard to translate after a few posts. I would love to know what they think about MTV News.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Kitty blogging Posted by Hello

I know it's fuzzy but I took it with my new camera phone... and the real Empress Kitty is a moving target.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

An update

I went by the local Verizon store and they were very nice. The lady at customer service cancelled the phone service. Yay.

They are only slightly redeemed.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Birthday notices

Gilly is having a birthday today.

My birthday is coming up. I will be 29 on July 27. Start planning now....

What are people searching for?

Michael Moore's biography and nipple enhancement surgery. Maybe if we enhanced Michael Moore's nipples, he would be more attractive.

man boobs...
Friday Linky Things

Linky isn't a word but I like it. It's fun to say.

Todays WTH moment brought to you by a court in Houston - Eye Gouger May Serve on Texas Jury. He is legally insane (at least at the time he was acquitted in 1997.) My guess, the defense will fight hard to keep him on the jury should he want to serve.

Documentaries are making a come back in the world of film (somewhat in thanks to leftist rants F 9/11 and Supersize Me.) Cool thing: several of the movies listed in the article I've seen - Spellbound, Story of the Weeping Camel - both of which are very good. There really is a crying camel. I couldn't believe it. Spellbound is on DVD now. When I was at NFF this year, 9 of the 15 films I saw were documentaries. They are not just for PBS anymore. :)

It feels so good to be ahead of the curve.

I thought my future mix-n-match home would be odd. My bedroom like a Moroccan tent.. a 1950's atomic style kitchen (or den, haven't decided yet).. a traditional British study. This takes the cake though.

Live the fantasy. Pretend you are a member of one of the Star Trek ships in your very own theme apartment! It would have to be one of the newer shows - TNG through Voyager. The same paneling is not on Enterprise or the original series.

Not just about Queer Eye. See this feature about single guys in Nashville who can decorate all by themselves. And who aren't gay.

In more attempts to put the US under UN control, some lawmakers have asked for UN observance of the 2004 Presidential elections. They said some people in poor districts were disenfranchised because of the complicated ballots and whatnot. No... I saw the butterfly ballot. It looked easy enough to me. Stupid people shouldn't be allowed to vote.