Friday, December 31, 2004

No.. no bias here

The New York Post has collected some of the more interesting quotes from the media about politics, Iraq, and the election.

They really should leave the drama and theatrics to the draq queens. It will be better for everyone.
Wearing Sunshine

I shared this outfit with Miss O'Hara stating that I thought it was cute but couldn't wear the yellow jacket.

Her response: Yellow isn't me either. Of course, we both just have such naturally sunshiny personalities, perhaps God made us so that we can't wear yellow - it might blind people, PK.

Amen sister. :)
It's quiet...

Too quiet....

Today is our application deadline... and I've only had 1 phone call.. and the emails are really light.

*looks around suspiciously* I don't like it.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

The Fashionista Strikes Again!

Having already banned the wearing of tracksuits away from the gym, a rule for the guys is sure to follow.

Don't wear your full hunting gear unless you happen to be.. say... hunting. They are not cute at Big Lots.. they have that certain "Unabomber" look.
From the "yeah right" files

State to tax illegal drugs

If you are a drug dealer, would you march yourself down to the Department of Revenue to pay your tax? Riiiiiiight.

(The probable method is that the dealer will be forced to pay the tax when caught)

Since they can't actually shut them down via the DEA or other law-enforcement agencies, they are going to tax them out of business.

Question: since Tennesseeans may be able to take a portion of their sales tax and apply it to the 1040 IRS form in the same way people from states with income taxes do, are drug dealers able to do the same? Will this cause an increase in price as the dealer passes the cost onto the user?

How much is the state spending to implement this program that has no guarentee that it will net the $3 million they want?
The Obvious

Much-needed baths rid cars of salt

See also: water is wet, sky is blue, and salt is... salty.

No news here.. keep moving... nothing to see here.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Today's useless study

It's after Christmas but I just came across this article.

Baby Jesus had hypothermia

Lying naked in a manger in a Northern Hemisphere winter meant baby Jesus would have certainly suffered from hypothermia, say Australian researchers.

They arrived at this conclusion based on the Old Masters who were in attendance at the Birth (it just wasn't recorded in the Gospels. Remember Leonardo Di Vinci was there for the Last Supper and Comicus was in the background - behind Jesus. "We ordered a portrait.")

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Looking for something to do?

5 days at home afforded me an opportunity to catch up on my web browsing. Here are some links that will test your knowledge... among other things.

MythBusters :: Fact or Fiction Quizzes - See what you thought you knew.. like was the red-suit Santa we know and love an invention of Coca-Cola?

CSA: The Confederate States of America - Sorry, Nate. This has nothing to do with truth. It's a mock-umentary about what would have happened if the South had won the war. It's playing a film festivals with a wider release planned for 2005.

Star Wars: The Official Site - The trailer to Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is online (if you didn't know already.) It's very cool; the best part is the footage from Episode IV - the original Star Wars movie.

South Knox Bubba has added a bunch of new blogs to the Rocky Top Brigade.

BBC - 50 things to eat before you die include yummy things like lobster, ribs, ice cream and the Cornish Pasty. I've eaten 31 of the 50 foods - I have no desire to eat guinea pig. Fine foods that did not make the list include corn bread dressing, sweet potato casserole, and Texas Toast. Then again, it is the BBC... they wouldn't be familiar with the Southern cuisine. To their credit, they did list ribs but not the general category of barbecue.

I guess that's because then they have to pick a style. Memphis style all the way!

What foods do you think were wrongfully excluded?

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Job Opportunities

Suggestions for Michael Moore's next film/project/job

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Ivy Ingenuity

For $40,000 a year, you too can make Harvard look stupid.

This won't happen at Wunderbilt.. they don't have this much school spirit.

As an aside, for years, the UT away game against VU was more like a home game in Knoxville. More Vol fans were there than 'Dore fans - always, always, always. This year, VU decided to change that.

In order to get fewer UT fans showing up at the UT/VU game in Nashville, VU raised ticket prices.

A purr to The Dead Parrots for this.
To Know that I am Loved...

As I stated earlier, I went to Bama Girl's house for dinner. And at till I was stuffed. Didn't even eat dessert.. I brought it home with me.. and a full plate for later. Her mom's dressing, I must say, is better than mine. 3 helpings..

So, they did the presents. I was looking forward to seeing what everyone else would get.. I certainly wasn't expecting anything.

Bama Girl, her sister, and her parents all bought me presents. It was all that I could do to keep from crying. Unlike now.. :)

I just couldn't believe it. My little bottle of wine that I brought just seemed so.. small in comparison. Bama Girl also told me that with my brother heard how great of a Thanksgiving I had that he started crying. He was also very relieved that I was going to her house.. but I think I said that already.

It felt good. And when they get married (it's highly likely sometime after he gets back), it will be a great family to be a part of.
Merry Christmas Y'all

It's early in the morning. As a kid I would be tossing and turning, finally asleep after staying up and excited as all get out as to what would be under the tree Christmas morning.

I remember my last 'Santa' Christmas. And the one after it. Christmas became kind of dull - sleeping in and just wrapped presents to look forward to. There weren't toys all across the floor as in previous years. My parents loved it because it saved them money - not nearly as much stuff to buy. It wasn't until I became a Christian that Christmas was able to regain some meaning.

In high school and college, I reluctantly went to church with my mom for Christmas Eve service. After it was over, we stopped at Denny's for dinner. We did this for years until the Denny's closed in Nashville. Then my mom got sick and passed away. Last year, on our way home, my brother and I thought about finding a Steak and Shake or something like that but opted not to. We just went home.

Holidays were NEVER very peaceful at my house. There were individuals who's mission in life was to make others miserable because they were miserable. And now they are dead. As my brother said in his last email to me before heading to Iraq: "It's a shame everyone had to die for us to have a nice Thanksgiving." (Yes it's ok to find that funny. My brother and I do.)

When I re-dedicated my life in 1999, that first Christmas was very special. It was also the last Christmas I had with my mom. We went to service at the school. I wish I could remember what she thought of it. The last picture I have with her was at her office's Christmas Party. It was in a box of stuff that at Elena's urging I stop long enough to actually go through.

Christmast 2002 was my nana's last Christmas. In 2003, that was the year I cooked the entire dinner save for dessert. Dad brought that.

We got into a fight over the phone because he was over an hour late. My brother and I decided to go ahead and eat. The dressing was killer. That is totally my speciality now.

We don't know how long he sat in his car in my driveway. I just happened to look out and see him there. It was extremely uncomfortable.. particularly when he fell asleep at the table after he finished eating.

That was his last Christmas.

And Eric is in Iraq. So it's my first Christmas by myself. I'll be going to dinner at Bama Girl's house. Her mom can cook.. mmm.. Eric was worried that I wouldn't find someplace to go; even over there he's more worried that I'm ok.

I told you that story to tell you this story:

So I'm up early in the morning again. Not because I'm excited and waiting in anticipation of any presents I might get. I'm up because I am thinking about my brother. I hope that he has a good Christmas in Iraq and that he's home by the next one.

I'm thinking about many of you - Nate, Miss O'Hara, Elena, Erik and Nikki, TPK, Rocky... I hope that you have a wonderful day with your friends and family.

I also wanted to take time out to actually reflect on the reason for the season. No chintzy religious Christmas Card stuff... but on what started in a manger that led to Golgotha and the Resurrection. I don't know about other churches but mine serves Communion on Christmas Eve. Pastor Pete spoke tonight that it doesn't do much good to reflect on Jesus' birith if you don't also consider his death. Without his ministry, death and resurrection, his birth doesn't have that much significance.

All of the lawsuits and coverage of offended people about Christmas doesn't really suprise me.

Just as 2000+ years ago - there still isn't much room for Jesus in the inn or in the hearts of men.

Tonight, ok this morning, I want to open myself up to Him. To remind myself of His love, His lessons and teachings, His sacrifice for all people.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Friday, December 24, 2004

A Christmas Song

It's the most litigious time of the year.
With lawyers always calling
And telling you to be sure to stay clear!
It's the most litigious time of the year.

There’s lawsuits to file
Displays to revile
And no caroling out in the snow

Someone’s offended,
Greetings amended
And tales of “Merry Christmas” being said long long ago

It's really hard work to write a parody.. If you can finish the last verse, you get to wear the caption crown until New Years!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

It was a dark and stormy night...

Jessica and Frank were freaked out by the lightening, bad writing, and howls from the Deaniacs wearing Flip-Flopper brand shoes outside.

Music played, candles flickered on the mantle - the mood was eerily romantic. Jessica looked at Frank and whispered "that's hot" when he flipped the page of the paper from Sports to the Editorials. Nothing made Jessica more excited than a man who could actually read.

Caroline and George sat in the boardroom. The applicants sitting across the table nervously awaited the arrival of The Donald. "Mr. Trump is pissed," Caroline stated.

"Yes. Someone is going to hear 'You're fired." George added.

Just then Omarosa (who wasn't even on this season) burst into the room, whining about her head injury and that she was unfairly removed from the competition due to a wardrobe malfunction. She also states that she would have made it to the final four if she also had a shomance with Nick, because everyone would have loved a threesome with Nick, Amy, and Omarosa.

Before everyone throws up at the thought, Caroline reminded Omarosa that her clothes were fine and it was that other girl fired a few weeks ago who had a wardrobe malfunction when she dropped her skirt for a $20 chocolate bar. "Do not take credit for others work. That's wrong and bad business. It makes you look like an economic girly man." Security escorts Omarosa out of the Boardroom and hands her a watch so she can keep track of when her 15 minutes of fame are up.

"Thanks for playing," the receptionist says, "Enjoy your parting gift. If you don't want it, you can give it to someone as a Chrismakwanzukah gift."


Jessica and Frank were having a heart to heart discussion about their own showmance. Accused of having a daliance with a celebutante, Frank finally admits to Jessica "Look, I'm just not that into you."

To console herself, Jessica runs to Barney's and spends $2000 on shoes.

* The End *
What not to wear

Via WorldNetDaily: Uncivil war over girl's Confederate prom dress

You know.. fashion can create controversy. Think back to anything Cher has worn. It always left people talking.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Friday, December 17, 2004

A burger for Nate

A burger with like 2/3 of a .lb of meat and bacon and cheese... and 1400 calories.


Source: Yahoo! News
Caption Contest Winner

Erik's prompting has followed a week of phone calls from Elena "when are you going to announce the winner? huh?"

So, here it is, the winner of the caption contest is....

Rocky! With:
Game Show Host: "And what's behind the curtain Gloria chose, Bob?"

Offscreen Bob: "Well Gloria, you and a friend will be going to HAWAII!!"

Honorable Mention:

Elena's - "Soprano goosed by errant violin bow"
Stood Up

Now, I am pretty sure this will receive condemnation from Nate but I don't care.

I was stood up by my stylist.

I take time off work and go to where he's now working for the holidays (which makes 4 different locations this year! Every appointment has been at a new place in 2004.) I wait for almost 45 minutes. When I get up to leave, the owner of the salon said "Let me call Jason."

So he calls Jason. Jason calls back and says "PK, I thought you cancelled. I got a message from you..."
"No, Jason. I talked to you Monday to confirm the appointment."
"Well, then who isn't coming?"
"I don't know Jason...."
"I am so sorry, PK. I mean it... I really sorry. How long can you wait?"
"I can't. I have to go back to work."
"Can you come tomorrow?"
"Yes, I can be here."

It's like a date standing you up. This is worse... I pay Jason to be here! And I tip really well. OH!!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

End of the year stuff

It used to be that the end of year lists would appear just after Christmas. Well, like Christmas, they now take up at least the month of December.

Vh1's Big in 04 - which is now a concert in addition it its "Best Year Ever" special. The latter is a spin off so to speak of it's weekly show "Best week ever" for those of us who can't remember what happened this past week. And it wouldn't be complete a look back a year of the Oblivion.

Also, a local favorite - the Boner awards. Now, the name may cause you to think it is one thing.. but not really. The awards are named after the 'esteemed' former Mayor of Nashville, Bill Boner who with his mistress-come-wife went on the Donahue show in the late 1980's to defend their relationship. Not one of the city's best representations. Since then, the Scene has chronicled equally odd and stupid things.. like this:

The new white meat.

Who among us hasn't done a little nosepicking from time to time? Let he who is without sin cast the first booger. Yet most of us confine our picking to private seclusion—rather than, say, in the midst of a recorded public hearing. Not so Lt. Gov. John Wilder, that eternal font of surprise. A video on talk-radio gasbag Steve Gill's Web site caught the notoriously out-to-lunch Wilder mining for mucus in mid-hearing. Then, on camera, the man who sits a heartbeat away from the governor's seat removed the fruit of his nasal excavation and stuck it in his mouth—then washed it down discreetly with a sip of water. Sure, protein is protein—but seriously, dude....

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Belly Dance Photos of the Week

In a bit of a change, I've decided to pull some photos of some of the world's worst belly dance costumes.

For the dancer that needs to have a snack - she can take her silverware with her.

The "Take me to your leader" bustier! I think it's going to start talking any moment. That could freak out your audience.

Remember the UT wedding dress? Well, here's the companion outfit - the University of Tennessee belly dance costume - Go Vols!
He made it safely

Bama Girl has updated UT Man's page. Or as I call him... Tater Salad (his joke...)

What else he told me, when he called very early Sunday morning was that he saw a herd of camels in Kuwait.. "You know how they raise cattle in the states? Well, they have herds of camels. Black, brown and albinos. The guy had sheep too."

Can you tell the city-mouse has gone to the desert?

It's a 15 hour time difference. The internet access sucks and it surprised him by how much I found on Google. "The terrorists could get that information...."

And he did try the banana milk. "It's alright. They are putting in a Burger King and Subway soon. That will be good."

Would y'all be willing to send him a belated Christmas card? Since internet is REALLY slow, he can't get email as he would like. I'm sure his name at mail call would help brighten his day.

If you want to... let me know - I'll email you his address.

Monday, December 13, 2004


My post on being an intern made the Best of Me Symphony #54. How cool is that!
A phone call

PK: Graduate Admissions.
Caller: Has Violet ----- checked out yet?
PK: I'm sorry. I can't help you. You need to call 3---5000.
Caller: That's what I dialed.
PK: No Ma'am. You dialed 0500.
Caller: No, I called the medical center.
PK: You got the Graduate School of Education.
Caller: What?
PK: This is the Graduate Admissions office for the the School of Education.
Caller: You mean this isn't ----?
PK: No.
Caller: I want the Medical Center.
PK: Then dial 3---5000.
Caller: You mean I didn't get the medical center?
PK: No....... This is the School of Education.
Caller: Well! Then I did get the wrong number! *hangs up*

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Movie watching Empress

The Polar Express is one of the best movies I have ever seen. The visuals are stunning and the story is really cute. I think it could definately be a Christmas classic. If you can see it on IMAX with 3-d, even better. Though if you've had lasik like me and Bama Girl, you might see double. We both had to watch the movie with one eye closed part of the time.

Super-Size Me... as it started out, I thought I was listening to Michael Moore for the first 5 minutes, until I saw that it wasn't. That tone of voice; self-righteous, liberal, and know-it-all. Morgan Spurlock is way skinner but was well on his way after eating McD's for 30 days. It took him a year to loose the weight he put on (almost 25 lbs). What else happened to Morgan? Every level shot through the roof and one of his doctors said that his liver had basically turned into fat. "Your liver is now like pate'." after 18 days. He basically pickled his liver like an alcoholics do. And his cholesterol went up 60 points.

Fact I didn't know: the Double Gulp from 7-11 is a half a gallon... one-half gallon. The sugar from one double gulp equals 3 cups... that's enough for 8 dozen cookies (fact courtesy of a co-worker).

There are twice as many Starbucks (160+) in Manhatten than McDonalds (87).

I had been thinking of giving up fast food or at least eating less of it and making some better food choices. After seeing this, I decided that I would not eat at McDs or other places unless I get a salad - no dressing (too much sugar in their dressings) or grilled chicken. More meals cooked at home and healthier choices to be made when eating out. (For the record, I've been working on this post for a week and I've lost almost 7 lbs since seeing the movie and feel alot better for eating better food - and recovered from food poisioning)

If your are curious, a large milkshake as over 1000 calories. A Mighty Kids meal can have as many as 800 calories.

See everything for yourself.

Miss O'Hara would probably be interested in the movie for its discussion of marketing the fast food product ($1.4 Billion in 2001 - direct media advertising.. and that was just McDonald's). It is rather insidious when you think of how these large companies target kids, like the old Disney ads that told kids to pack their suitcase and say 'take me to Disney World' or something. The movie goes into more detail.

It is a personal choice - so educate yourself and then make a choice.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Food Poisioning Sucks

And that's all I have to say about that.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Caption Contest

I really like this feature... it's fun exploring for pictures that are odd, unusual, and interesting. Entries due by Friday morning. Nate and Astro: you have to give up the crown... and you might win it back.

What are they saying? Or What did they see to get such an expression on their faces?

Foodies commenting on non-food thing

I have no idea of this woman is actually a foodie but her name certainly suggests so:

"We all leave our doors unlocked. We can run around in our nighties. It's all girls and we feel really safe and that will change," said student Starbuck Hersey.

Folger Nestle, Cadbury Maxwell-House, and Gevalia Mars could not be reached for comment at this time. - U.S. & World - College's Decision to Allow Men Irks Women

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Return of the Hawks

Or Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom comes to campus.

Y'all may remember that there is a pair of hawks that have now made the campus their home with the abundance prey around.

Well... there is one less squirrel on campus now. On my way to lunch today, the female hawk (I had seen the male before - he was quite a bit bigger than the one on the lawn this afternoon) was sitting in plain sight.. with a squirrel clutched in her claws. She was bobbing up and down a little bit. The squirrel flipped and flopped over...

The RedHead (my co-worker who I generally lunch with) yelled at the hawk to get it to go away and let the squirrel go.

"It's dead now. Might as well leave the bird alone. It's better than having just a dead squirrel laying in the middle of the lawn."

The hawk then spread her wings to make herself look as big as possible to fend off any of the small and gathering crowd. We left before she either flew away or began chowing down. It was, after all, lunch time - for human and fowl.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Belly Dance Photos of the Week

This week, I'm going old school... looking back at some of the earlier belly dancers that helped give us the style we have today. I've chosen Samia Gamal, a dancer in the 1940's from Egypt. She starred in several movies in the 1950's after moving to the US.

Like Aziza from a couple weeks ago, the performance goes a whole lot better when the dancer looks like she is having a good time.

Moonbats on parade!

Courtesy of RightWingNews: this year's top 10 worst quotes from Democratic Underground. Oh boy and they are doozies. The Empress's personal favorite:

JVS: "Lincoln was right to crush the South in the 1860's. Someone ought to do it again."

Good Morning Campers...

what I received via email this morning...

Hello, young lovers! :)

The person who has the will to undergo all labor may win any goal. Outward judgment often fails, inward judgment never.

Knowledge is power, but enthusiasm pulls the switch. Honor is unstable and seldom the same for she feeds upon opinion, and is as fickle as her food. Always remember, a cat looks down on
man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal. I call the book of Job, apart from all theories about it, one of the grandest things ever written with the

One can say of language that it is potentially the only human home, the only dwelling place that cannot be hostile to man. There's nothing I like less than bad arguments for a view that I hold dear. Love, Arthur, is a poodle's chance of attaining the infinite, and personally I have my pride. Good and bad men are less than they seem.

There can be a fundamental gulf of gracelessness in a human heart which neither our love nor our courage can bridge.

It never occurs to some politicians that Lincoln is worth imitating as well as quoting. I don't compete with other discus throwers. I compete with my own history.

He who goes against the fashion is himself its slave.

My nature is subdued to what it works in, like the dyer's hand. Creation is a drug I can't do without. I know of no country in which there is so little independence of mind and real freedom of discussion as in America. Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.

To achieve greatness one should live as if they will never die. We know better than we do. We do not yet possess ourselves...

Every institution not only carries within it the seeds of its own dissolution, but prepares the way for its most hated rival. He who does not mind his belly, will hardly mind anything else. Not everything which is bad comes to hurt us.

An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes.

Those expressions are omitted which can not with propriety be read aloud in the family.

That has to be just about the oddest piece of spam I've ever received.
Timing changes

Given that I'm slammed at work, it will be hard for me to blog during the day. *sigh*

So, I will be posting in the evening for the next few weeks.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

On The Scene

John Spragens explains in this week's Nashville Scene why liberals are hated, courtesy of an episode of Wife Swap.
For once I felt the emotion that drives lower-middle-class white people to vote
against their economic interest because John Kerry is effete and Frenchy and his
wife's a total b*tch. I've always understood it intellectually—nobody likes to
be preached at, condescended to and made to feel stupid—but Zev's fascistic
style of holier-than-thou progressivism made my blood boil in a way that only
counter-protesters at a Michael Moore rally would understand. Liberals in this
formulation are the ultimate wet blankets, the kind that suffocate fires and
passions of any sort.
Liz Murray Garrigan issues this bulletin: all guys are schmucks. Now, haven't I been working hard to disprove that? A quote that reflects our discussion of late:

One of d'Angelo's most interesting findings is that, in his own mind, a man
is only as good as his wife thinks he is. But these are things that women don't
seem to know. "In spite of our female intuition, we still have some very basic
things to learn about guys," she says.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Scratches to the Post - I will be your Father Figure

George Michael opines:
Welcome ladies to the year 2004. A time in which women are empowered, self-sufficient, and deserve to recite the mantra, "Hear me roar". Women have been suppressed by society enough in the past and if a man can't stick around and handle a strong female, that just shows his own weakness. Perhaps if y'all bothered to watch a little more of the show, you'd take to the character Charlotte. While perhaps in even your eyes, she may be seen as progressive, she's notorious in the show for touting "victorian morals" of pleasing men at all costs. You women are my worst fear. If I ever feel so intimidated by my man, or so afraid that he'll leave me if I express an opinion, that I do nothing but walk around on eggshells and crack open beers for him, I hope I drop dead.
Is George crying out for Freedom.. oh Freedom!?

Question one: Is this a parody? (via Nate)
Question two: Is George a woman or is he gay?
Question three: Just what on earth are you talking about?

No one here was saying they identified with one character or another. If they did, I missed it. I'm with Vox Day on this: male or female (though females tend to do this more often), it's a sorry personal state if you go around saying "I'm so Charlotte!" "I'm so Samantha!" That's just scary.

Well, I'm just so Marilyn Manson... though I would prefer to be Dita Von Teese... *shudder*

Charlotte is in no way espousing "Victorian morals." The woman is obsessed with marriage - "a sorority she's desperate to pledge" to paraphase the very first episode of SATC. She dumped a guy who was equally obessesed with marriage because they had different china patterns. Come ON! Only in comparison to a Samantha could a Charlotte be viewed as having a high moral standard. Instead of sleeping with the guy on the first night, she waits until date 4.

But to be serious, as Elena said via email to me this morning, there is nothing wrong with service. It is a noble offering and calling. As Christians we are called to serve - as Christ himself came to serve. Now, because of our fallen state, we tend to fall way short of serving everyone with a glad heart.

All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Caption Contest - Announcing the winner

IvanLENIN has worn the lovely Burger King Crown through the holiday and now it is time for another caption contest.

Just what... on.. the.. beach.. is this man doing?


And the winner is.... Its a tie!

Congrats to Nate with:
Sheik Yerbuti digs through the sand where 27 surfers were killed yesterday in a freak beach accident.
and to Astrosmith with:
"There, I finally buried all of Saddam's chemical and biological warheads. Now I just have to go finish burying those damn Scuds... Achmed -told- me to lay them flat, but no, I said 'Rockets point up!'. Son of a camel!"
Again, all of the entries were hysterical. Thanks for playing.. Nate and Astro.. I only have one crown. You will just have to share.
The Horror of Horrors

The other night, I was flipping through the channels and landed on "Sex and the City." Yes, it's fluff.. and I should do something more productive like get a root canal but just hang in there.

It is not among my regular shows to watch and most of my knowledge has been picked up through osmosis. Each episode has Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) at her computer for one scene writing out part of her column. During this scene Tuesday night, she was reflecting on relationship karma and what goes around comes around.. and why the men in she and her friends lives would leave.

The speech went something like this:
"It isn't your ex, or the one before that.. or even the one before that is the problem. What if, the horror of horrors, it is us?"
After I picked myself up off the floor from rolling off the couch for laughing, I had my own mini-epiphany. "They have no idea it is them." They are so wrapped up in their shoes, their self-help books, their clothes, and their own neurotic behavior that they can't see they are the reason men only stay around for sex and want no conversation.

They are so perfect in their world, the very idea that something could be wrong is so foreign that it's disgusting. "Eww... something is wrong with me? Noooo. You must be mistaken." It hits them like a ton of bricks. And at least on the show, none of them did anything to change this. No softening of the edges, no therapy.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Today's paragon of feminity...

Brought to you by Page Six: New York Post Online Edition.
December 1, 2004 -- ANNA Benson, the former model and stripper who is married to Mets pitcher Kris Benson, vowed yesterday that if she ever catches her husband cheating, she'll have sex with all his teammates.....

"I told him [Kris] — because that's the biggest thing in athletics, they cheat all the time — I told him, cheat on me all you want. If you get caught, I'm going to s- - -w everybody on your entire team — coaches, trainers, players. I would do everybody on his whole team."
Nice to see the great family values they are passing onto their children on public display. Or is this just a publicity stunt to keep their names in the paper...? I swear.. some people..

Best news all morning

Taking a play from the libertarian side of the political ball field, GOP Discusses National Sales Tax.

When I worked at the General Assembly, Sen. Henry stood up in opposition to the creation of a state income tax. He explained why he supported TN's higher than averal sales tax: "It is a tax on consumption - not productivity. It is voluntary for the most part." If people didn't want to pay it, aside from food and a few basic necessities, they don't have to pay out a large portion of their income in sales tax. If they want a TV: do you get the $100 model from Wal-Mart or the $2000 model from Circuit City? Most people are thinking of features and stuff - not sales tax. But if people were really that concerned, there are ways to lessen its impact.

And as my mom said "it socks it to the tourists who flock to Music City."

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Hello from Kuwait!

BamaGirl set up a website for my brother. Lots of pictures (strangely, I'm only in one of them.. that would be because I wasn't invited to any of the activities while he was in town.........)

Anyway, he's doing well and safe. You can also leave a comment for him on the site.

Monday, November 29, 2004

The Golden Age of Hollywood

Mike Jericho brought this tidbit to my attention, a historian's view of the movie Alexander:
There is also irony here. If we remember the embarrassing Troy, we are beginning to see, that all for all the protestations of artistic excellence and craftsmanship, Hollywood has become mostly a place of mediocrity, talentless actors and writers who spout off about politics in lieu of having any real accomplishment in their own field. I've heard so many inane things mouthed by Stone that I would like someone at last to address this question - why would supposedly smart insiders turn over $160 million to someone of such meager talent to make such an embarrassing film? Alexander the Great is third-rate Cecil B. Demille in drag.
Miss O'Hara and I were also talking about the pronoucement that Sarah Jessica Parker is the new Liz Taylor (and brown is the new black.. and pink is the new brown.. and green is the new pink and purple is the....). We both agreed: SJP is NO Liz Taylor. Cute, fun, and maybe even a decent actress.. but Cleopatra she could never be.

Related, this weekend, I watched the Collector's edition of Gone with the Wind. I highly recommend it - the color and sound is outstanding. I'm thrilled that it was restored and probably looks better now than it did in 1939. The look, style, scale, and performances are just beyond compare. Now, I know there are things we can do today via technology impossible in the Golden Age of Hollywood, but many movies are leaning so heavily on the technical side that there isn't much of substance there (The Star Wars prequals, Matrix: Reloaded and Matrix: Revolutions standing as prime examples).

This leads the rise of independant film. The major studios often finance some of the better indie films out there but as a whole you will find more creative, interesting, and substantive films at the local art film house than at the megaplex.

Then again, I don't want to see some art film all the time. Sometimes, I just want to watch stuff blow up because that is cool.
The things people search for...

That lead them to this blog. I was just looking over the sitemeter report.. and there was "Bulgarian Fart Girls."

You know.. I'm not sure I want to know what that's about.

Belly Dance Photo of the Week

This week, for a bit of contrast, the dancer I've selected is Rachel Brice. I saw Rachel on the Bellydance Superstars tour and in my opinion, she completely stole the show. Her control, flexibilty, and style were amazing. And she was very nice during the meet-and-greet, shaking everyone's hand and signing autographs. Long after all of the other dancers left, Rachel was still talking and meeting with people.


Saturday, November 27, 2004

Fashion Quote

"Women don't need anything basic in their wardrobe. They need things that are glamorous!" -
Carolina Herrera

The Empress doesn't pay too much attention to designers but she is a HUGE fan of Carolina Herrera. And thanks to "The Look for Less," the court has learned how to find similar looks at regular stores.

And we love saving money.
Post-Thanksgiving Hangover

In another example courtesy of the Nashville Peace and Justice Coalition taking events from hundreds of years ago and applying 2004 views to them.

While we at NPJC hope everyone enjoys this Thanksgiving Holiday and are
able to celebrate our lives together, we also thought it be important to learn a
little history behind "Thanksgiving".


The Following text was taken from Russel Means' autobiography entitled :
"Where White Men Fear To Tread".

"When we met with the Wampanoag people, they told us that in researching the history of Thanksgiving, they had confirmed the oral history passed down through their generations. Most Americans know that Massasoit, Chief of the Wampanoag, had welcomed the so-called Pilgrim Fathers-and the seldom mentioned Pilgrim Mothers-to the shores where his people had lived for millennia. The Wampanoag taught the European colonists how to live in our hemisphere by showing them what wild foods they could gather, how, where, and what crops to plant, and how to harvest, dry, and preserve them.

The Wampanoag now wanted to remind white America of what had happened after
Massasoit's death. Massasoit was succeeded by his son, Metacomet, whom the
colonists called King Philip. In 1675-1676, to show "gratitude" for what Massasoit's people had done for their fathers and grandfathers, the Pilgrims manufactured an incident as a pretext to justify disarming the Wampanoag.

The whites went after the Wampanoag with guns, swords, cannons, and torches. Most, including Metacomet, were butchered. His wife and son were sold into slavery in the West Indies. His body was hideously drawn and quartered.

For twenty-five years afterward, Metacomet's skull was displayed on a pike above the whites' village. The real legacy of the Pilgrim Fathers is treachery.

Most Americans today believe that Thanksgiving celebrates a boar harvest, but that is not so.

By 1970, the Wampanoag had turned up a copy of a Thanksgiving proclamation made by the governor of the colony, the text revealed the ugly truth: After a
colonial militia had returned from murdering the men, women, and children of an
Indian village, the governor proclaimed a holiday and feast to give thanks for the massacre. He encouraged other colonies to do likewise-in other words, every
autumn the crops are in, go kill Indians and celebrate your murders with a feast. The Wampanoag we met at Plymouth came from everywhere in Massachusettes.

Like many other eastern nations, theirs had been all but wipe out. The survivors
found refuge in other Indian nations that had not succumbed to European diseases
or to violence. The Wampanoag went into hiding or joined the Six Nations or
found homes among the Delaware Shawnee nations, to name a few. Some also sought refuge in one of the two hundred eastern-seaboard nations that were later

Nothing remains of those nations but their names, and even some of those have been lost. Other Wampanoag, who couldn't reach another Indian nation, survived by intermarriage with black slaves or freedmen. It is hard to imagine a life terrible enough that people would choose instead, with all their progeny, to become slaves, but that is exactly what some Indians did."

The first settlers, explorers, and others did things that were wrong by today's standards. But what NPJC does not take into account is the world view at the time. It's good to know the entire picture of our history but the implication is that because the event isn't right by modern standards, we should throw it out and feel bad about this country, its history, and its first settlers. No more holidays for you.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Verb Tense

Just remember that as you move through the South, "fixin' to" is a perfectly acceptable verb tense and is used frequently..

because we are fixin' to do that.
The Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

On my way into work this morning, I was pondering what things I am thankful for.

my brother
a job I like most of the time and a great boss and fun co-workers
a house that's paid for
Her Royal Highness - The Empress Kitty
that I have very little contact with what relatives I have left (I can't take the baggage from either side anymore)
all y'all
Duke Diva, Bama Girl and her sister.. Bama Girl's family
belly dance and being physically able to do so
my church

Tuesday, November 23, 2004


I think's recommendations are a bit buggy. I have no idea why they recommended a sniper suit for me... It's a bit on the fuzzy, fluffy side. It shows no curves at all and that is not my color.

Today's Useless Survey

Maybe not useless but definately in the "uh.. duh..." file.

Michael Moore Tops List of Least-Intriguing Stars.. along with waif/party girl/making us why she is relevant Paris Hilton, Ben "I need Acting Lessons" Affleck, Michael Eisner, and Jimmy Fallon.
News from the Field

I heard from my brother. He's arrived in Kuwait safe and sound. He sent me his address. If anyone would like to drop him an email or send a note/postcard, let me know. I'm sure he won't mind. He won't be in Iraq for a few more weeks.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Belly Dance photo of the week

After subjecting you to that... that... world record pierced woman down there, I thought I would brighten everyone's afternoon. At first, I was going to make it a dancer of the week decided it was easier just to select a photo. Here is the first installment. The dancer is Aziza, based out of Portland, OR. I saw her on IAMED's video "Rockin' the Casbah," which is where the first picture is from. The second is from a festival in California in 2003. Enjoy!

Instructionally Challenged

At work, we are trying to create a more positive atmosphere.. remove some of our negativity and anger. Instead of calling people stupid, idiots, oblivious, or any number of other things, we have decided that they are, generally, instructionally challenged.

In working with someone on an application, I went through it step by step.. in a 30 minute phone call on Friday... 30 minutes of my very valuable time... and left one detail out because it shows up on the table on page 3.

Conversation today:

PK: You need to fill out the last required fields.
Student: Where? I don't see anything.
PK: Do you see anything in RED on page 3.
Student: Yes. Language ability.
PK: Go to page 2 and fill that out.
Student: When we spoke on Friday, you didn't say anything about that.
PK: Well, I'm sorry. Go fill it out now.

What PK thinks but does not say

I'm sorry for assuming that you could READ. I'm sorry that you are delusional enough to think you are ready for graduate school. I'm sorry thinking that you might be bright enough to figure out the application on your own like the other 600 people who apply for each Fall.
Reality TV or something that should air on Lifetime?

Mark Burnett, the unofficial god of Reality TV who gave us Survivor (and thus spake Burnett "It was good.. sorry about Marquesas, Thailand and Vanuatu...") has come up with a show where we get to follow around people who abduct kids from their non-custodial parents and take them back to their custodial parents.

I think Lifetime has a movie on this every other week... now it's a reality show.

Mark, I think you need a vacation. This season of Survivor SUCKS! And I mean CAPITAL S- SUCKS!!!! It's horrible! Nasty! Vile! I HATE IT! And I hate that you decided to cast uber-femi-nazi-lesbian Ami "it's all about girl-power. No alliance of women has ever finished to take out all the men. We want to be the first to do that..." who's running the whole stupid show and no one is willing to vote her off. They are so stupid they deserve to lose! The Professor and I discussed this last night: we refuse to watch the rest of the season because it is so bad. The story arcs are weak, the constants are even weaker. I never ever thought there would b be a season as bad as Survivor: Thailand. I was wrong.

If there were ever another All-Stars season, no one from this group deserves to be on there. Except Brady. Brady is hot.

I don't know if I will watch this latest installment from Burnett. The Apprentice is dull (I can only stand so much of Trump); Survivor is... beyond words and now as show that looks much like America's Most Wanted which I stopped watching years ago...

I'm taking Nate's advice and reading a book. - Foxlife - Fox Features - Kidnap TV: Rescue or Re-Abduction?
Your Monday Morning Wake-Up Call

Scratches to the Post

Loyal Subject Erik sends this missive:
too.... long...... need..... fix..... 2.5 days....
{lays head down}
cant ... go .... on ....

What could possibly be so important as to leave your subjects for soooo long? =oP
Unfortunately for my dear subjects, business of the Empire has kept me from blogging regularly. I hope that I can get in more posts this week. Your Empress does apologize for being inattentive.

She loves you all.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Come ON Now.....

You can't tell me this doesn't have racist undertones. All it needs is a "yes massa" line in it.

Buck teeth? Over-developed lips and mouth? I remember seeing those in early cartoons from the '30's and 40's that would NEVER be on TV now because they are stereotypes.

Pat Oliphant produced a similiar cartoon a few days ago. If we were to put up Carolyn Mosely Brown or that socialist from Georgia who told Guliani to take the Saudi money for 9/11 in similar positions, can you hear the NAACP screaming at the top of their lungs? Holy spinning heads, Batman.. there would be lawsuits so fast, the lawyers would be dizzy.

But since it's a Republican, Condi Rice, it's ok. *rolls her eyes*

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Caption Contest time!

My brain has shrivled up to a raisin thanks to repeated questions of information that is obvious on our website but asking people to read it all on their own would require them to work.

So, I couldn't think of anything really amusing or safe for work to post here.

The rules:

The captions MUST be safe-for-work reading. No four-letter words.


To answer Elena's question about why the picture was up for so long without the rest of the post was that there was a problem with Blogger. The Empress was very unhappy. But now that it's working, all is right with the world.

And the winner is......

"Hey, I see a rich capitalist! Go get'm, comrades!"
Ivan Lenin

*polite applause from The Court* And you win this lovely antique Burger King crown to wear for the day.

Honorable Mentions

"Omigosh, did YOU get YOUR scarf at TJ Maxx??? I did too!!!!!!!!"

Look! It's the President! And he's stealing the election again!

Hillary Clinton teasingly threatens to end Ken Jennings' winning streak on "Jeoparady!" Mrs. Clinton will be appearing with Jennings as a part of "Unholy Powers" Week on the syndicated game show December 2.
Miss O'Hara


They were all hysterical! Loved them! Hope y'all enjoyed them. Thanks so much for playing a new caption contest will be coming soon!
New Seasons

Inspired by Nate's comment "Is it metrosexual season?", I thought about "what other seasons are we forgetting beyond just Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter and end of season sales.
  • Orange "Flower" season: predominant in Tennessee in early spring when orange and white road cones and barrels pop up along side the highway. Known to last for years without any attention.
  • Milk, bread, and eggs season: The threat of inclement weather sends Nashvillians to Kroger in droves for milk, bread, and eggs. Gives weather people the opportunity to scare the crap out of ordinary people who can't drive under normal conditions and are wrecks waiting to happen with ice on the ground. My question: if you are going to be snowed in, why don't you buy something good? This season baffles Yankees.
  • Football season: Get out your Titans and UT gear! It's August and time for some football! Hopefully lasts until January.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Sweaters separated at birth?

Clay appearing on Larry King Live

Blake at the Big Smoke in Vegas.

At least the collared shirt is different. The tan shirt is much nicer, Blake.
Her Highness appearing across the Blogosphere

Her Royal Highness, the Empress Kitty has made a guest appearance at Lord Floppington's blog.

She is an actress, too.

"He's my brother."
"Your brother? But.." *kiss*

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Spreading Holiday Cheer

While BestBuy *probably* meant it as "hey - mom - let us make your shopping easy for you", it comes across as "hey - mom - you are too stupid to figure out anything beyond changing a diaper."

A purr to Gunner at NoQuarter for this. Write and ignore BestBuy as you see fit.
Darwin at Work : Man Sets Himself Ablaze at White House

They were speculating on the radio that this man wanted to make a point that he wanted to go home to visit his family (supposedly he is a Yemeni official). But... uh.... if you burn a large part of your body and are in the hospital, they aren't going to send you home for a while.

Actually, you may end up in a different kind of hospital wearing a very fashion-forward straight jacket.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Scratches to the Post

Erik writes:
[The Real Empress Kitty] looks like her right eye is looking off to the side while the left eye is straight at you...
Speaking of animal oddities, my nana had a dog that became my dad's dog that went to my dad's neighbor as they passed away (the neighbor is still alive, I saw her Saturday) named Keela. I would post a picture of her, but she's too skittish and won't come near anyone. But every time I am at the house to work on it, she trots over and wags her tail.

Keela is half german shepard and half akita. She has one brown eye and one blue eye.. and looks smart and stupid at the same time.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Doll Spotting at Logan's

Elena and I went out Saturday night to see Born into Brothels. I saw it at the Nashville Film Festival and was glad to see it again at the Frist. After the movie, we were hungry and went to Logan's for a late dinner..

And apparently half of Nashville was there too. We were not aware it was such a popular hang out.

So we were waiting on our table when "Ken" walked in.. and I say "Ken" because he looked like the doll but with black hair. And his friend "Brad" - equally doll like. "Ken" was chatting away on his cell-phone when Elena leaned over and whispered "Look - he comes complete with accessories."

Friday, November 12, 2004

Via Nate - Privacy Experts Shun Black Boxes:
According to Joe Osterman, director of highway safety at the NTSB, the recommendation was inspired in part by a tragic auto accident involving a 86-year-old man who drove his car into a crowded Santa Monica farmers.

Osterman said a black box in the car might have not saved the people in the crash, but would have allowed investigators to find out how it happened and how cars could be better designed to reduce the likelihood of greater injury in the future.
They don't need a stinkin' black box to tell you how to solve that particular incident. Don't let old people with bad eyesight drive. Every time I got in the car with my nana in her later years, I would just panic.

"Nana, the light is red. Stop the car. Nana! STOP THE CAR! You are going to hit them!" It is a blessing she never hit anyone.

It is a government conspiracy. Big Brother is extending his reach EVERYWHERE!
Friday Linky Things

It's been a while since I posted some linky things, so here you go:

Rabbi Boteach takes Hollywood down a peg.. or 5.
having mounted the greatest mobilization of celebrity against a candidate in American history, our celebrities discovered the pathetic truth that most Americans treat them as nothing more than actors.
Roger Abramson tells Democrats to play nice with Republicans and watch their language. Not all on the right are stupid hicks just as not all on the left are Bible-burnin' gay folk.

A really really cool NASA picture.

Need a greeting card? Try these out.

I had forgotten that it was LILEKS who brought us the grooviest motel on the plan.. er.. Wisconsin (I remember seeing it on way back when). Purpinkle is a new word. Love it. Maybe I should be the Purpinkle Kitty? Nah.... Well, here's the rest of his Institute of Offical Cheer. Bookmark it for later, trust me.

What would Friday be without a little Cat Blogging?

That cute, innocent face hides the fact that she is really the Empress and a killer of poor little mice for amusement.
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

All in the Empress's domain are hereby strongly encouraged to attend the Bellydance Superstars event closest to them.

If you miss them, the DVD version of their performance will be available in January 2005.

A+++; Highly recommended... very fun and exciting and if you ladies are interested in learning how to belly dance, there are likely some local teachers working the crowd with flyers and cards.

Pictures coming soon.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Courtesy of Vox and Spacebunny

The blogosphere's super-couple, we have some new phrases to add to our lexicon:

Vox: What a crock of absolute bovine ejectus.

I think the meaning is self-evident.

Spacebunny: chew toy
- any person you dated (or flirted with) before "the one" (ie. your spouse)

It's all the pleasure of the distraction yet none of the nutrition of the real food. (via Elena)

Are there others to add?
Michael Moore isn't going away

Miss O'Hara forwarded this little piece to me. Mr. Moore wants to make "Fahrenheit 9/11½." And they want to start recruiting Hollywood Democrats to run for office because who wouldn't vote for Tom Hanks?

I know there have been successful actor to politician transitions but they have typically been Republican because they have to sacrifice their mega-buck salaries to be in office (though probably still make residuals off of the showing of movies on TV.) I don't see Babs running to make any sacrifices but tells us to give up our washers and dryers. In fact, she sued someone who took a picture of her house for a coastal preservation project.
When I asked what actor would trade a $20 million salary and a percentage of the gross, he countered with "Let's pay the actor-politicians a presidential salary of $20 million -- plus a percentage of the GNP."
Miss O'Hara's comment was "Thanks for volunteering my tax money, Mike." I concur. I do hope it was in jest but given his penchant for more government spending, I doubt it.
Ted Danson plans to develop a "mockumentary" in which he will interview subjects in an effort "to save the world."
Mm-hmm... that sounds like a Miss America answer to me. Tell me, Miss Ohio, if you win, what do you plan to do with the opportunity give to you? _or_ What is your one wish?

"World peace."

Awwww... Isn't that sweet? She is moving her lips and everything. And her hair didn't move at all.

An observation

Apparently being really cool and trendy involves bad typing skills.

From the Nashville Peach and Justice Center calendar:
YoUtH RiGhTS!!... Youth in Nashville Schools are being told that young men can't wear dresses and that same sex friends can't hold hands... Nashville Youth think there might be some breeches of civil liberties concerned here.

Veteran's Day

Back on Memorial Day, I wrote this post about the men in my family who have served or are currently serving in the military.

My brother's unit is having a huge parade today at Camp Shelby in preparation for their send off to Kuwait in the next couple of weeks. I'm not there, but Bama Girl is. Hopefully she will take some pictures I can post.

Our veterans deserve our respect and honor for their service. Do something today for a solider, sea or air man, or Marine.

Visit to organize supplies and letters for our troops in Iraqi Freedom. Ask your kid's Sunday School class to color some pictures to send to them for the holidays.

Say thank you.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

And the light bulb goes on...

A little late, but it's better than never. Not that it matters at this point but I just feel like sharing.

Kerry asked Clinton to come on the campaign trail to remind people of the "good ol' days" of the latter's administration.

Now, aren't Democrats the ones harping on the Republicans for looking back at bygone eras?

I Love the Smell of Napalm in the Morning

Leave it to the British Press to make our troops sound like murderous thugs hellbent on destruction.

Telegraph 'I got my kills ... I just love my job'

And this selection:
Tony Blair's problems over Iraq deepened still further last night when one of his most respected former advisers suggested the entire conflict had been illegal.

Sir Stephen Wall, who was head of the European Secretariat in the Cabinet Office, said: "We allowed our judgment of the dire consequences of inaction to allow us to depart from the rule of law."
I'm not familiar with British law so I can't really speculate. But... we got the UN resolution. What else does Sir Wall want? A note to Saddam asking for his permission to throw him out of power?

Dear Sir:

We of the American, British, Austrailian and other governments in free, peace-loving societies seek your permission to bring our troops in and throw your sorry a** out of power.

We plan on arriving next Thursday. I do hope that will not be a problem. Set out the good china. We will be staying for tea.


George W. Bush, President of the United States of America
Tony Blair, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
John Howard, Prime Minister of Australia
What I saw on my way to work

Cooper's Hawk

It let me get about 6 feet to him before taking off from the railing and flying across the lawn to another tree. Beautiful creature.

There will be some dead squirrels and chipmunks before the day is through. I'm surprised more of these birds of prey aren't around campus with the abundance of food around.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Possible Scene from Arafat's Hospital Room
  • Reporter: Is he dead yet?Suha Arafat: No, he's resting.
  • Doctor: He is pinin' for the fjords.
  • Suha: He is taking a rest after a long sqwak.
  • Yassir Arafat: I'm not dead yet.
  • Reporter: Yes you are.
  • Doctor: That will be nine pence.
  • Yassir Arafat: I think I’m getting better.
  • Palestinian Official: You are so dead. Now be quiet.
  • Suha: That lovely headscarf. Remarkable fringe, don’t you think?
  • Palestinian Official: E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot.. er.. leader is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
  • Doctor: Well, I can’t take him if he isn’t dead. That’s against regulations.
  • Palestinan Official: He will be dead in a moment.
  • Yassir Arafat: I feel happy…. so happpyyyyy.
*the lights go out and we hear a thud*

  • Doctor: Alright. Thank you for your business, Sir. Please come again.
*loads Yassir Arafat into a wagon as the bell clangs “BRING OUT YER DEAD!” *
  • Reporter: But is he really dead……? Or will we hear "it's just a flesh wound." And "Come back here Ariel Sharon! I will bite your ankles off!"
The Original: The Holy Grail: Scene 2 and Scene 4 and The Parrot Sketch.

A purr to Vox for the inspiration.
Taking an issue from the state Republicans

Governor Bredsen firmly states that he will not allow Tenncare to bankrupt the state.

You know, if Phil keeps this up, he may become a good candidate for President in 2008. The pundits keep talking about a moderate Southerner would be the ideal candidate for the Democratic Party.
Remember our day at the range?

You can refresh your memory of what we used by visiting this post.

Pink Kitty with the 308. My goal was to hit the dirt mound the size of a large vehicle and I hit it.

My brother with one of our AR-15's.
Somebody's Cranky!

Eric Enberg apparently got up on the wrong side of the bed, didn't get enough coffee, or something. He decided to take it upon himself to put bloggers in their place because "bloggers aren't journalists."

Bloggers spread rumors, are partisan, and juvenile. The Mainstream Media is none of that.

Now stop laughing. I'm being serious.

All of blogs Enberg cites, save for Drudge which we all know to be fairly unpredictable but very interesting, were left-of-center. Kos, Wonkette, and Sullivan all at the minimum tacitly endorsed Kerry if not outright doing so. So of COURSE they would be jumping with glee at the early exit polls. And crying in their cocktails as the night wore on.

He compared the comments and posts to listening to a CB radio. Speaking without facts, chattering about nothing.

He didn't mince words and neither will I - Eric Enberg is full of it. There are serious bloggers out there doing good investigative work, from both sides and to brand them all as silly, childish, and like grenades with the pins removed "dangerous and unpredictable" is extremely unfair. INDC, Bill Hobbs, Glenn Reynolds, The Belmont Club and Volokh Conspiracy - they are covering stories that the MSM refused to cover: the Swift Boat Vets and Voter Registration Fraud for example.

And there are bloggers who you wonder "should we take away their computer access?" I believe one of Vox's friends calls them 'navel gazers.'

It seems to me that Mr. Enberg, writing at CBS, is probably bitter because the blogosphere hit that network pretty hard this year. He accuses the blogs of running with bad numbers in the exit polls when experienced journalists know better.

Hey Eric - did you share that advice with Dan Rather? He could use the refresher after that whole bogus National Guard story that the BLOGS broke. Pot calling kettle! Line 1.

More examples that Eric failed to consider:
“The truth is, while Kerry may have taken a hit in the polls as a result of the largely bogus criticism of his war record, Bush, as the incumbent, is not as vulnerable — even if the accusations are more credible....The breathless debate over typewriter fonts last week shifted the debate away from Bush’s questionable record.”
— Time’s Amanda Ripley in the September 20 issue.
Translation: ignore Kerry. He doesn't have to answer any criticism - just bash Bush.
The Washington Post’s Howard Kurtz: “You’ve said on the program Inside Washington that because of the portrayal of Kerry and Edwards as ‘young and dynamic and optimistic,’ that that’s worth maybe 15 points.”
Newsweek’s Evan Thomas: “Stupid thing to say. It was completely wrong. But I do think that, I do think that the mainstream press, I’m not talking about the blogs and Rush and all that, but the mainstream press favors Kerry. I don’t think it’s worth 15 points. That was just a stupid thing to say.”
Kurtz: “Is it worth five points?”
Thomas: “Maybe, maybe.”
– Exchange on CNN’s Reliable Sources, October 17.
And to use words like "arch-conservative" makes those that are to the right sound like Lex Luther.

So, what is the future for the blogosphere? There will continue to be those very elite few that are of national importance. The rest of us will continue to post stories about our lives, our pets, funny pictures, our opinions and point out the obvious hypocrisy in news stories for our own amusement.

Just like how reality TV had to adapt to the spoiler boards, MSM will have to adapt.
Because Paris Hilton has already bought every other dog accessory

Tinkerbell needs something new: doggie glasses

This reminds me of when I took her Royal Highness, Kitty, to the vet once shortly after we first got her. The conversation went something like this:

Vet: *examining Kitty's mouth* She has an overbite.

Me: So, what does she need? Kitty braces?

Brother: *snikering*

Vet: *not amused*

Monday, November 08, 2004

Scratches to the Post

The Empress's Loyal Opposition, Kelly O'Connor, writes into say:
There is good and bad in this in my opinion. It is great that peolpe can no longer lamet the loss of activism and the onset of youth apathy. But the devisiveness in this country currently is shocking. I will openly admit that I much more agree with those in the link than the 52% in my home state (Ohio).

What distrubs me the most is that Dubya has taken his "largest number of votes ever" as some kind of mandate from the populace, regardless that there were 5 million more people that voted for Kerry than did for Gore. He really needs to look at the country and realize that this country is so divided that he cannot continue to drive the administration further to the right. He needs to come to the middle and try to bring the moderates back into the fold.
But when it skews to the left, it's all good? Bill Clinton claimed he had a mandate in 1992 and he had 43% of the vote at that time.

Pajama Hedin has more in this excellent post.

The comments on PoliPundit (where I found the above link) mention a CNN discussion between a Priest and a Rabbi on the devisive nature of social issues. The Rabbi laid the blame on the court system for imposing morality when it should be up to the people (either through direct referendum or representative government) to decide.

Just as you might say W should not campaign ban gay marriage, for example. Democrats should not take the case to the courts and force it on an entire state (MA) when the public and the legislature are clearly opposed. If government went back to its original intent and function, we wouldn't be having this discussion. It won't. Reagan said the hardest thing to get rid of was federal bureaucracy. Government is NEVER the solution.

You may cite the civil rights laws of the 1960's. Yes, those were a good thing. They were correcting racist laws already on the books, giving millions of citizens their basic rights as Americans. Marriage should not be and is not a civil right. Seperate marriage completly from the government. They issue civil union certificates to any and everyone - gay or straight. This certificate would carry the benefits attributed to marrige certificates in the past: inheritance, taxes, etc... Marriages take place in a church with a clergyman/priest/rabbi/imam. No legal benefit - it is a religious ceremony, like baptism. Then this allows each church/mosque/synagogue to decide who they will marry.
A Geography Lesson

I found this map.

But I really like this one...

When you need something to do

Old and Busted: Flash Mobs

New Hotness: Mobile Clubbing

Mobile Clubbing further proves that white people can't dance. So much so that now we need to each have our own tune. One tune for everyone just isn't good enough anymore. It would be hysterical to see someone gently swaying to a easy-listening song and the next person pop-locking to old school 1980's rap music and the next twirling around to trance techno.

Edited because the Grammar Queen Elena got me making typos again.

Friday, November 05, 2004

Natural behavior of moonbats in denial

Much has been made by the right-of-center blogosphere about their peers on the left, well, having gone nuts in the wake of W's re-election.

I think this is the most extreme example. Language in some of the photos is not safe for work: Photos from the rally in SF on November 3, 2004

ThePinkKitty - isn't this near you?

I know that if the situation were reversed, there would be those on the Right that would be distraught, beside themselves, and prostrate with grief about the direction of our country.

The Daily Mirror asks how many people can be so stupid on the cover of their paper... SouthKnoxBubba was screaming his little head off - that he was trying to use logic and reason but it didn't work... commenters to his blog said that Republicans dominated the Mainstream Media (which Miss O'Hara and I found incredibly amusing particularly after you hear Dan Rather say things like "I'm sure you'd rather wear a gasoline soaked suit and walk through fire" than hear Kerry was losing Ohio to Joe Lockheart.)

All I can say is... ok... wow. I would hate to see what would have happened if they won.

Donald Trump to John Kerry

You're Fired

a purr to Ace. HA!
The Fashionista Strikes Again

This post on modesty, again courtesy of the Ladies Against Feminism site, has led the Empress to don her cute Fashionista hat to remind the world that one can be fashionable and modest.. and it doesn't consist of dressing in a potato sack.

The idea is that our dress has become too sensual and tempting. Agreed. But, I do not want to be the next Laura Ingalls. I don't like floral patterns. Homemade is only good for biscuits, not your clothes. Buy it or see a real seamstress/tailor.
Isn't it sad that anyone would have to tell us what not to wear?
There's a whole show and network dedicated to making the world a more fashionable place. Stacey and Clint - line 2!

I've said it before and I will say it again.. well I think I said it before. I think these ladies have a good idea but the solution is mis-directed. It isn't that we can't look cute and adorable - it is when we place the hunt for the BEST outfit in front of our Creator. Part of choosing your clothing is so that you are presentable, clean, and neat. They seem to think that modest is wearing something akin to a burka minus the face covering and Keds.

What do you all think of this?
Today's useless study...

Yahoo! News - Eco-friendly disc to store data on corn

Yes, that's right - Corn. It looks like a CD-Rom and is edible, except for the resin coating it that makes it too hard to bite into.

via Elena Posted by Hello

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Not impressed

There is a rumor going around that Miss O'Hara and Blake think their kitties are cuter than Her Royal Highness, the Empress - Kitty.

Note: a photo of Otto von Furgenstein is not available at this time. We hope one will be available for comparison soon.

Please. We of the court and other loyal human subjects are not impressed. We like the charming Mr. Remington and are sure of the noble linage of Otto, but...

They are not the Empress.

All shall love me and despair...

Yes, now that the election is over, we have moved on to other equally useless things to do.


Apparently there is a full-fledged campaign underway at Miss O'Hara's. The Empress's campaign slogan is..

Purring again in America.

She will be developing a platform soon.. between naps.
Scratches to the Post

ThePinkKitty writes into ask the Empress:
What's a moonbat?
Bill at INDC Journal is the recognized authority on moonbat research. A moonbat is that rare breed of leftist, usually sporting ugly clothes, a home made sign, and stinking of patchouli found at anti-war protests across the country.

You may see the moonbat research he has conducted here. Links to all of his entries on moonbats are at the bottom of that page.
Scratches to the Post

Rick P writes in to ask the Empress:
The Big Questions on my mind are , How is the Professor taking Bush's win? and What's the general attitude among all the academics on your campus?
I don't know all the academics on campus, so I can only speak for what I've overheard from my office. I've not directly engaged the whining masses, but this is what I've heard:

"War mongers."
"Those that voted for Bush are stupid and mis-informed."

When I shared this with The Professor last night (who was recovering from the jolt), he said "that is not a fair statement to make. Bush voters are not mis-informed. And before we finish talking about politics, I have one thing to say: Congratulations. Your man won."

So, no picking on The Professor for being on the losing side! Thus spake The Empress.

Back to the campus mood, yesterday, the people across the hall went on forever.. consoling each other, licking the emotional wounds.. calling W "The Chimp" and our foreign policy "juvenile, dangerous, and irresponsible."

"I'm scared to live here for another 4 years."
"We are less safe now."
"Don't people see how divisive W is?"
(my mental response was "More people voted for W than ever before. Not even Clinton got 50% of the vote in his 2 terms.")

When walking around, it felt as though the entire campus was slumping its shoulders.. dejected, demoralized, confused. They just can't imagine that people don't.. think.. like.. them! Everyone they know agrees with them....

Now, The Empress often jokes that everyone should share her opinion and that would make life alot easier. True, but it would also make it boring. I don't often venture onto the left side of the spectrum, but I do know enough to say 'There are other people out there who have different opinions.. who have reasoned them out and come to a different conclusion. That's cool. Just keep the moonbats away.'

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Cue Justin Timerblake

"Oh Cry me a river.. oh come on baby.. Cry me a river."

Daily Kos:
"So, deep breaths people. Cry if you have to. Throw up. Break something. Be ready for more pain than you think you can stand. Then use that pain. Make the bastards pay for the tears. Send them the bill for the china that gets thrown at the wall. Force them to own every damn bit of the damage they do to our country and sink them with it. It's going to be a nasty vicious war, but we have to win it. We haven't got a choice, do we?"
See? Even in defeat, the wacked out left wants someone else to pay. It's all your fault! There's no accepting responsiblity here!

And this one from the comments:
[T]he signs show an electorate completely divorced from reality, an electorate that's plainly ignorant, a media that doesn't serve them, and a future full of terrorism and war, never mind the undermining of democracy.
At least that person is right that the media doesn't serve the electorate. I bet there was a lot of weeping and gnashing of teeth at ABCBSNBC today.

A purr to Jeff G.
Reflection on spending habits

What? What did you say? Ehhh? Yeah... that was $15 million well spent.

6 hours after I tried to open Blogger this morning, I finally get to enter a post. I do have lots to say that will be coming in short little bursts over the next few days. Some of it isn't written yet... like the concession speech Kerry would rather have given.

As Miss O'Hara said, "PK - tomorrow we will work to heal America. Today, we will gloat."

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Exciting news from the polls

I got to participate in the exit poll. Yay! I've never been asked to do that.
I'm intimidated and I haven't voted yet
There will also be lawyers at several locations and the NAACP says it will have representatives at the polls, making sure everyone is guaranteed a ballot and that no one is intimidated.
You think lawyers and a bunch of "observers" aren't intimidating? Yeah.. me neither.

NewsChannel 5 Network
I hate chick flicks.

Really. I loathe them. I detest the marketing of them.. that pink (ironic) fuzzy (even more ironic) 'you are woman, roar big and strong' crap.

Why I hate this "50 best chick flick" list:

1) There are alot of movies I've never heard of on this list.
2) There are alot of movies I HATE on this list.

Of the movies on the list I know something about, they can be classified in to several categories:

She-Ra (The woman is powerful and a warrior - either physical or emotional/psychological. Oh yeah - and men suck.) Wronged women getting even fall under this category. So does the Lifetime channel.

ex. Aliens. Thelma and Loise, The Color Purple, What's Love Got to do with it?

Cinderella (The woman goes through some kind of transformation and is better on the other side.)

ex. Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion (WHAT? This was just a plain stupid movie. How did it make the list? Oh.. that's right, this was in Oprah's magazine.), Pretty Woman. In a round about way: Lovely and Amazing, Bridget Jones' Diary.

Other categories I'm sure are represented but I don't know enough about the movies to say so:

Florence Nightingale (The woman resuces somebody from something and learns about herself in the process and finds love. Awwww.)

Class warfare (well-to-do of one gender and not-so-well-to-do of the other fall in love). May also include May-December stories.

L'Affaire de coeur - even though one of us is married. We must follow our bliss!

I've only seen a few of the movies on this list - 5 out 50 to be exact. Some of the older ones I like because the are classic films with some of the iconic scenes we all know (ex: Breakfast at Tiffany's). But come on! Desperately Seeking Susan? That should be on the list of "why Madonna should not be an actress."

Lists of Bests : O, The Oprah Magazine's "50 Greatest Chick Flicks of All Time"
Quote of the Day

“France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.” -- Mark Twain.