Belated Christmas Funny

I'm a little late with this, but here's what the 12 Days of Christmas would look like if it were found on eBay.

Happy New Year - almost

I've been remiss about posting this week but I think that is largely because I can't think of anything to say.

I decided to not really use my Palm anymore. I've gone back to analog. I love the Moleskine notebooks I use for dance so much that I bought the 2006 Moleskine daily planner. I like it. It is actually alot easier to use than my Palm.

I could whine about how I got sick overnight but even I don't want to hear that. The only reason I came into work today was because of a lunch our boss is buying for us.

Wesson went to the vet last night. It was the first time he and Smith were parted since I brought them home. They were both out of sorts last night. Wesson is fine for any who might worry. Of course, he was the hit of the evening because he is so sweet, loving and gosh-darn cute. They all raved about his bright gold eyes.

A couple months ago I started working with a nutrionist about the same time I got serious about dancing. I've been the fat-chick most of my life and I am tired of living this way. So I've been watching what I eat and exercising more (as the Dr. who supervises the program said - 'Losing weight is a very simple concept. Eat fewer calories. Exercise more. Actually doing it is the hardest thing you will probably ever do') or something like that. I set a goal for myself over the summer to be down 30 lbs by the end of the year.

I achieved that yesterday. Hooray for me! I noticed last night my neck is actually getting more slender and doesn't look so much like a football player. It all feels good.

I still have a long way to go but the mini-goals are much more doable than saying "I need to lose 100 lbs." Yeah - I know that but looking at it in that way is trying to hike the Applachian Trail in 2 days. It can't be done. Saying "I want to lose 20 lbs over the next 3 months" is much more realistic, safe, and doable.

Here's to 2006. May your New Year be blessed, safe, joyful, and happy.

Love all y'all!

Clucking Along

Chris Wage thinks I am a chicken. Last I checked, I wasn't. But I suppose I'll take chicken over some various other names I could be called.

Res, keep your 9th grade mind out of here. ;)

I am working on a response to his response to my anti-unions post.

It will take some time for me to finish up the research. Scholarly articles take a long time for my poor-little-brain to process.

Meanwhile, Difster (aka Captain Obvious), Res, and Erik have some good points on unions in the comments thread.

Christmas Songs I Love

Per Elena's request (who has said that I've been very Grinch-y this year; yes, I'm being a Grinch), here are the Christmas songs I love. Newton also has a list of his favorite songs.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel
This one one of the first songs I learned when I was in chorus in High School. It was in our repertoire for four years. I didn't get it until I became a Christian. Katherine posted the lyrics on her blog a couple of weeks ago, and I cried like a baby.

Just thinking about it makes me weepy. I can still hear the bass section opening the song - so strong and clear.

O Holy Night
I love this song for a lot of the same reasons I love "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel." They kinda quickly get to the point of Christmas: celebration of Jesus' birth. I think about the shepherds who were greeted by an angel of the Lord - how terrifying and awesome that must have been.

That may also be part of my Grinch-y behavior this year: I'm sick of the commercialization. I'm sick of the cult-of-shopping. The debate over "happy holidays" versus "Merry Christmas" just annoys me to no end. Shut up already and pick one!


These songs also have not been beaten to death by celebrity Christmas albums.


I am seriously considering returning the gifts I bought and just donating the money in everyone's name to a charity where it will do some good. Truthfully, do we need more stuff?


Carol of the Bells (though I prefer the instrumental versions of this song) It sounds really cool and that's why I like it.

Anything by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. They rock.

The Charlie Brown Christmas CD

You dance too much when....

you are at the mall and a song comes on with a cha-cha beat (1-2-'cha-cha-cha').. and your feet automatically start moving.

And you are three patterns in before you even realize you are dancing.

Oh yes, this happened to me. And I was in the middle of a spot turn when I realized what I was doing. I had to just say to myself over and over "NO - NO DANCING IN THE STORE!!!"

So I made it through the cha-cha. The next song was a Middle Eastern piece that was perfect for belly dancing. Again with the hips! There they go! Figure 8's just start without a thought. At that point, I left the store before I made too big a fool of myself.

More on the Power to destroy

"Transit workers are tired of being underappreciated and disrespected." - Union President Roger Toussaint in announcing the NYC Transit Workers strike.

And you think angering 7 million potential commuters is going to get you more respect and appreciation?

The union said the latest MTA offer included annual raises of 3 percent, 4 percent and 3.5 percent; the previous proposal included 3 percent raises each year. MTA workers earn between $47,000 and $55,000 annually. The MTA originally had demanded an 8 percent pay raise per year for their members.

Pension issues have been a major sticking point in the talks. The MTA wants to raise the age at which new employees become eligible for full pensions from 55 to 62, which the union says is unfair.

But Toussaint said the union wanted a better offer from the MTA, especially when the agency has a $1 billion surplus this year.

I would like to work in a job where I'm guarenteed a 4% pay increase every year. I will count myself blessed to get a 2% raise. And I would also like to retire with full benefits at 55 - still young enough to get out there and really explore and savor life.

There's a surplus this year. Wouldn't upgrading equipment be useful - more fuel efficent vehicles for example? How about setting some of it aside in case there are years when there isn't a budget surplus? What about using it to lower prices for the riders? Huh?

GEEZ - our entire society is acting like a 5 year old with a buck in his pocket. It's burning and it must be spent - NOW!!!!!

Playing like a broken record

I've said it before and I will say it again: the power to tax is the power to destroy.

And it is the power to use bunker-buster bombs when big government gets into bed with unions. It is a must-read article. Don't hold any illusions that tax payers have any say what-so-ever.

Don't pay your income tax, the IRS will put you in jail.
Don't pay your property tax, the city will confiscate your property.

Nothing is yours anymore. I think I want to find out how to live off the grid.

Overheard at Lunch

Guy: Did he have a gross peter?
Girl: No, he didn't.

PK's thought: Well, I think I'm going to skip the roll portion of my meal and enjoy the non-phallic things on my plate.

They then went on to talk about all the people they knew in the mob. Like her uncle and a friend of a friend of his who is supposed the grandson of the guy who the Godfather is based off of.

From the Ministry of the Obvious

Cell Phones Interfere with Family Life

Because if you talking to someone on the line about what he did to you last night 'Oh no he di-n't!' how can you pay attention to the person right across from you? It is one thing to take a call and be brief about it. But it is quite another to conduct a 20 minute conversation about... uh... what's the strangest cell phone conversation you've heard?

The next time you are subjected to an obnoxious cell phone user, give them one of these cards from the Society for HandHeld Hushing. Free to download and fully customizable for any conversation.

And for the bad drivers of the world, use these Road Rage Cards. (Not safe for work)

Insanity:

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein

Need proof? See Congress and the US Treasury Department's latest scheme: New dollar coins to feature dead presidents

Because the Susan B. Anthony and Sacagawea dollar coins were so popular....

You are mean one, Mr. Grinch

You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

(pops to full size)

Christmas Puppy Goodness

It isn't my puppy. Miss O'Hara sent me a link to a Detroit Knottie (that would be a fellow member of theknot.com wedding message board) snapfish account.

But it is too cute not to share:

Smokin'

I don't smoke. In fact, I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. It pretty much gives me an instant headache. It is such that I can smell a cigarette when it has been tossed out of a nearby car. The friends I have who do smoke are very courteous about it. They try to stand down wind or sit further from me at the table.

It's why I don't do the downtown bar/club scene. The thought of coming home and smelling like an ashtray just isn't appealing. I would like to go out but many places aren't smoke free or they don't have a place for non-smokers. The one time I attempted to visit Legend's, I wound up sitting on a bench outside.

Oddly, pipes and cigars don't bother me. When I've gone to Sherlock Holmes Pub, I've been around a number of pipe smokers and haven't been sick at all.

A business aquaintence from Boston told me he was surprised that Nashville didn't have more non-smoking restaurants or areas of restaurants. Boston is smoke-free. All restaurants and bars are smoke free. I've not done the research but it makes sense to me. He said that he and his friends now go out more often because it is smoke free. Restaurants and bars protested initally but the complaining eventually went away because profits didn't decrease (according to his opinion).

Since there are more non-smokers than smokers, it would stand to reason that there are people (like myself) avoiding businesses because of smoke. I believe that they would actually go out more often if they knew they weren't going to get sick from the experience.

All of this to say, the Nashville Scene had a story about it. The good libertarian in me says let the businesses (or at the very least cities) decide for themselves what is/isn't smoke free. But boy, it would be great to visit Legend's and not sit on the street corner the whole night.

What's in Season

I get a little frustrated when I hear the phrase from snooty chefs on Food Network say that I should buy "what's in season."

"What IS in season you dolt?! Not all of us have that information or know where to go get it." I knew eggplants were in season in the summer from the Alton Brown "Good Eats" episode on eggplant.

When I go to the store, the produce looks pretty good. I buy it. I'm not paying too much attention to prices from June to now.

Apparently, Food Network heard me screaming, and they now have a handy-dandy guide to what is in season.

Finally declaring a winner

I've finally gotten around to it. I'm picking a winner in the last caption contest with the Pelosi Pic. Drumroll please.....

Steve with: "OOoooo...so that's how a Republican hangs. Dems are so tiny."

Because size comparison jokes are funny.

Bridal Caption Things

Miss O'Hara is getting married in April and being a bridesmaid, I get to help with all sorts of wedding things. From a distance anyway since we live in different cities.

Miss O'Hara is NOT a bridezilla. She has been fabulous and wonderfully accomodating and gracious. And helpful in pointing out the horrible things in bridal trends.

Like this, for those that can't be bothered to hold a bouquet:



And Elena found this one and sent a caption of "His boutinerre is REALLY happy to see the bride":



Then there are the shoes (not bridal but they deserve to be made fun of anyway. We found these while trying to find some good shoes to go with the dresses):

Miss O'Hara said these were "for the yak solidaritist"


I said these were for the corset fan in your life. They may also work for Pochantas if she needs something dressier for a night on the town:

My Booth Would Be So Much Cooler

Brevity Comic... that's because all the bloggers I know are cool. Except Difster. He's Captain Obvious.

All I want for Christmas

My own personal tank. Except that it needs some kind of gun mounted on it. I mean, what's the point of having a tank if you can't shoot at anything?

Does it scream "Jawa Transport Vehicle" to you? It does to me. With Smith's and Wesson's beady yellow eyes looking Jawa-like.... yeah - I'm ready for Tatooine, baby!

Christmas Songs I Hate

Away in a Manger

I can't stand this song because of the fact that it is so.. so.. Thomas Kincade in its depiction of the Nativity. The whole cattle lowing but the baby isn't crying thing just seems so un-realistic to the point of irritating.

Twelve Days of Christmas

Much like 99 bottles of beer on the wall, this song just keeps going on and on. It launches into the realm of annoying about the time you get to 3 French Hens. Now I know it is supposed to be spiritually significant but honestly, when you were taught the song, did they tell you that 3 French Hens represented "Faith, Hope, and Love?" I went to Church of Christ and Baptist schools. Never mentioned. Maybe it is a Catholic thing.

White Christmas

I am about to commit Christmas blasphemy: I don't care for White Christmas and I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life." Being from the South, we don't have white Christmases. It's hard to share in that sentimentality (much like the mushy Amy Grant song 'Tennessee Christmas'). I think my problem with this and Grant's song is that it creates an ideal that just can't be met in the real world.

It is as though you are looking through a semi-foggy window at the ULTIMATE Christmas scene. Large family gathered around an expansive table with a turkey the size of a small child. Side dishes to make your eyes pop. Everyone wearing sweaters and other holiday-appropriate gear. Children running around, playing. It's just lovely and peaceful. Everything is ready on time and perfectly cooked. There's no TV playing the background. No one is eating in the den off of TV trays. The house is tastefully decorated with a large live Christmas tree. Did I mention the ribbons?

Yeah. I hate that. If anyone actually experienced a Hallmark-style holiday, I'm not sure I want to hear about it.

The Wonder Twins

Here are a couple of pictures of my boys: Smith and Wesson.

Loaded as a Logan's Baked Potato

Check this out:

Jennifer Pizer, a lawyer for the gay rights group Lambda Legal Defence, said the case was the first in the US to allow a gay man or lesbian to sue doctors on allegations that treatment had been denied because of sexual orientation. The case has still to reach trial.

She said the latest ruling would be appealed against at the California supreme court. "We fear this decision is going to worsen the confusion in the minds of the public about whether you can legally discriminate in the name of religion," Ms Pizer, who represents Ms Benitez, told Associated Press. "The bottom line is that you should not be able to treat patients in a discriminatory way."

What treatment was she being denied? Fertility treatment. Now, last I checked, fertility treatment was not a life or death issue. It isn't cardiac care. She isn't going to die if she doesn't have a baby.

The court ruled in favor of the doctors, by the way, who refused to treat her on religious grounds.

Since fertility treatments are optional and one can have a good quality of life without them, I agree with the doctors. Maybe she should try another doctor, hmm? It is a free market economy, you know. She did that anyway, and has a 3 year old.

If they were refusing to, say, go through with a liver transplant even though there was a qualified donor and all because she was a lesbian, then I would agree with Lambda. Denial of critical care based on gender, orientation, intelligence level, income, race, or political persuasion is wrong.

Guest Blogging Stint

This weekend, I will be holding down the fort at NashvilleIsTalking.com.

So, let's head over there, mm-kay?

Caption Contest of the Third Kind

Holy Freakin' Crap... what a screen capture of Nancy Pelosi. Many thanks to the lovely and talented Miss O'Hara for pointing it out to me or else I would have missed it.

Have fun!

Elena has been writing again

Someone finally got around to adding something to her blog. :)

She has a great post on Walk the Line. There are some good observations in there. Go check it out.