From the Ministry of the Obvious

Cell Phones Interfere with Family Life

Because if you talking to someone on the line about what he did to you last night 'Oh no he di-n't!' how can you pay attention to the person right across from you? It is one thing to take a call and be brief about it. But it is quite another to conduct a 20 minute conversation about... uh... what's the strangest cell phone conversation you've heard?

The next time you are subjected to an obnoxious cell phone user, give them one of these cards from the Society for HandHeld Hushing. Free to download and fully customizable for any conversation.

And for the bad drivers of the world, use these Road Rage Cards. (Not safe for work)

Insanity:

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein

Need proof? See Congress and the US Treasury Department's latest scheme: New dollar coins to feature dead presidents

Because the Susan B. Anthony and Sacagawea dollar coins were so popular....

You are mean one, Mr. Grinch

You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

(pops to full size)

Christmas Puppy Goodness

It isn't my puppy. Miss O'Hara sent me a link to a Detroit Knottie (that would be a fellow member of theknot.com wedding message board) snapfish account.

But it is too cute not to share:

Smokin'

I don't smoke. In fact, I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. It pretty much gives me an instant headache. It is such that I can smell a cigarette when it has been tossed out of a nearby car. The friends I have who do smoke are very courteous about it. They try to stand down wind or sit further from me at the table.

It's why I don't do the downtown bar/club scene. The thought of coming home and smelling like an ashtray just isn't appealing. I would like to go out but many places aren't smoke free or they don't have a place for non-smokers. The one time I attempted to visit Legend's, I wound up sitting on a bench outside.

Oddly, pipes and cigars don't bother me. When I've gone to Sherlock Holmes Pub, I've been around a number of pipe smokers and haven't been sick at all.

A business aquaintence from Boston told me he was surprised that Nashville didn't have more non-smoking restaurants or areas of restaurants. Boston is smoke-free. All restaurants and bars are smoke free. I've not done the research but it makes sense to me. He said that he and his friends now go out more often because it is smoke free. Restaurants and bars protested initally but the complaining eventually went away because profits didn't decrease (according to his opinion).

Since there are more non-smokers than smokers, it would stand to reason that there are people (like myself) avoiding businesses because of smoke. I believe that they would actually go out more often if they knew they weren't going to get sick from the experience.

All of this to say, the Nashville Scene had a story about it. The good libertarian in me says let the businesses (or at the very least cities) decide for themselves what is/isn't smoke free. But boy, it would be great to visit Legend's and not sit on the street corner the whole night.

What's in Season

I get a little frustrated when I hear the phrase from snooty chefs on Food Network say that I should buy "what's in season."

"What IS in season you dolt?! Not all of us have that information or know where to go get it." I knew eggplants were in season in the summer from the Alton Brown "Good Eats" episode on eggplant.

When I go to the store, the produce looks pretty good. I buy it. I'm not paying too much attention to prices from June to now.

Apparently, Food Network heard me screaming, and they now have a handy-dandy guide to what is in season.

Finally declaring a winner

I've finally gotten around to it. I'm picking a winner in the last caption contest with the Pelosi Pic. Drumroll please.....

Steve with: "OOoooo...so that's how a Republican hangs. Dems are so tiny."

Because size comparison jokes are funny.

Bridal Caption Things

Miss O'Hara is getting married in April and being a bridesmaid, I get to help with all sorts of wedding things. From a distance anyway since we live in different cities.

Miss O'Hara is NOT a bridezilla. She has been fabulous and wonderfully accomodating and gracious. And helpful in pointing out the horrible things in bridal trends.

Like this, for those that can't be bothered to hold a bouquet:



And Elena found this one and sent a caption of "His boutinerre is REALLY happy to see the bride":



Then there are the shoes (not bridal but they deserve to be made fun of anyway. We found these while trying to find some good shoes to go with the dresses):

Miss O'Hara said these were "for the yak solidaritist"


I said these were for the corset fan in your life. They may also work for Pochantas if she needs something dressier for a night on the town:

My Booth Would Be So Much Cooler

Brevity Comic... that's because all the bloggers I know are cool. Except Difster. He's Captain Obvious.

All I want for Christmas

My own personal tank. Except that it needs some kind of gun mounted on it. I mean, what's the point of having a tank if you can't shoot at anything?

Does it scream "Jawa Transport Vehicle" to you? It does to me. With Smith's and Wesson's beady yellow eyes looking Jawa-like.... yeah - I'm ready for Tatooine, baby!

Christmas Songs I Hate

Away in a Manger

I can't stand this song because of the fact that it is so.. so.. Thomas Kincade in its depiction of the Nativity. The whole cattle lowing but the baby isn't crying thing just seems so un-realistic to the point of irritating.

Twelve Days of Christmas

Much like 99 bottles of beer on the wall, this song just keeps going on and on. It launches into the realm of annoying about the time you get to 3 French Hens. Now I know it is supposed to be spiritually significant but honestly, when you were taught the song, did they tell you that 3 French Hens represented "Faith, Hope, and Love?" I went to Church of Christ and Baptist schools. Never mentioned. Maybe it is a Catholic thing.

White Christmas

I am about to commit Christmas blasphemy: I don't care for White Christmas and I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life." Being from the South, we don't have white Christmases. It's hard to share in that sentimentality (much like the mushy Amy Grant song 'Tennessee Christmas'). I think my problem with this and Grant's song is that it creates an ideal that just can't be met in the real world.

It is as though you are looking through a semi-foggy window at the ULTIMATE Christmas scene. Large family gathered around an expansive table with a turkey the size of a small child. Side dishes to make your eyes pop. Everyone wearing sweaters and other holiday-appropriate gear. Children running around, playing. It's just lovely and peaceful. Everything is ready on time and perfectly cooked. There's no TV playing the background. No one is eating in the den off of TV trays. The house is tastefully decorated with a large live Christmas tree. Did I mention the ribbons?

Yeah. I hate that. If anyone actually experienced a Hallmark-style holiday, I'm not sure I want to hear about it.

The Wonder Twins

Here are a couple of pictures of my boys: Smith and Wesson.

Loaded as a Logan's Baked Potato

Check this out:

Jennifer Pizer, a lawyer for the gay rights group Lambda Legal Defence, said the case was the first in the US to allow a gay man or lesbian to sue doctors on allegations that treatment had been denied because of sexual orientation. The case has still to reach trial.

She said the latest ruling would be appealed against at the California supreme court. "We fear this decision is going to worsen the confusion in the minds of the public about whether you can legally discriminate in the name of religion," Ms Pizer, who represents Ms Benitez, told Associated Press. "The bottom line is that you should not be able to treat patients in a discriminatory way."

What treatment was she being denied? Fertility treatment. Now, last I checked, fertility treatment was not a life or death issue. It isn't cardiac care. She isn't going to die if she doesn't have a baby.

The court ruled in favor of the doctors, by the way, who refused to treat her on religious grounds.

Since fertility treatments are optional and one can have a good quality of life without them, I agree with the doctors. Maybe she should try another doctor, hmm? It is a free market economy, you know. She did that anyway, and has a 3 year old.

If they were refusing to, say, go through with a liver transplant even though there was a qualified donor and all because she was a lesbian, then I would agree with Lambda. Denial of critical care based on gender, orientation, intelligence level, income, race, or political persuasion is wrong.

Guest Blogging Stint

This weekend, I will be holding down the fort at NashvilleIsTalking.com.

So, let's head over there, mm-kay?

Caption Contest of the Third Kind

Holy Freakin' Crap... what a screen capture of Nancy Pelosi. Many thanks to the lovely and talented Miss O'Hara for pointing it out to me or else I would have missed it.

Have fun!

Elena has been writing again

Someone finally got around to adding something to her blog. :)

She has a great post on Walk the Line. There are some good observations in there. Go check it out.

Nashville Goes Mod

In two recent videos, we see the revenge of the Mod look, channelling June Carter Cash and Jackie O:

Twenty Years and Two Husbands Ago - Lee Ann Womack
- and -
Like We Never Loved At All - Faith Hill with Tim McGraw

Lee Ann and Faith have their full shaga-dellic looks going on. Big hair, bigger eyelashes, funky patterns, neutral lipstick. Yet, Tim still seems to look like a 21st Century Metrosexual Cowboy.

Justifiable Homicide

That's what I told the lovely, talented and somewhat crazed bride (but who has good taste) Miss O'Hara when she IM'd me this... thing....

It's Chucky meets Alien meets a Can-Can Girl. And whoever says "wear this" should be shot for committing unspeakable crimes against fashion. And the designer should be severly beaten for even thinking it was... wearable. Man... I think I'm going to lose my lunch - which is ok because it wasn't that good anyway.

A playset for the Cartman in all of us

Via Elena (who knows exactly how to make me cackle with glee):

This playset has everything......except a hippie. Though the New Age Lady will just have to do. I bet they don't know that hippies have sub-categories: the giggling stoners, the drum-circle hippie, and the college know-it-all hippie.

Yeah - I know. I'm being lazy. I have nothing insightful or all that funny to report. So unless you want to hear my internal monologue of various dance steps "One, Two, side-together........" that has been stuck in there for 4 days now... I didn't think so.

I will eventually get around to saying something neat.

Though I did over-hear one woman at the dance studio report that the only reason why she was dating this guy was "THE SEX IS AMAZING!!!!!" We all needed to know that, thanks sweetheart. If it isn't followed with an offer of his phone number, I don't really want to hear it.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Enjoy the day!