Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Old Car, New Name

The Countess visited Nate's blog and enjoyed his explanation of how and why men name their cars, boats, ships, motorcycles, and other beloved man toys. Nate speculated that women name their cars after guys. The Countess does not know if this practice is universal, but she has a story to share about her car.

Ebeneezer Cruise, a hunter green '96 Honda Accord LX, was purchased in 2001. Since the Countess was rather late in life getting her driver's license (long, LONG story) and purchasing a car, she had saved up a good amount of money and could afford a decent, though not luxe, car. God's presence (she talked aloud to him a LOT on the interstate) and her sister helped Elena defeat her fear of driving, so she named the car after the stone Samuel set up after a key battle the Israelites won over the Philistines. Naming the stone Ebeneezer, "the stone of help," Samuel stated, "Thus far has the LORD helped us." (See 1 Samuel 7.) The name certainly fit the Countess's experience! The last name Cruise was added by a co-worker. (No reference to Mr. Tom.)

Four years later, Ebeneezer is a bit more of a geezer: iffy air conditioning, a couple of sensor lights out, a large and rust-enhanced dent in the driver side door, a front end bent up into the air, a large black piece of plastic from under the front end that had fallen off and is now in the back seat, evidence on the roof of a Halloween's egging, and windshield wipers that screech.

Yep, Ebie's more of a jalopy now. The Countess says all Ebie needs is bad mariachi music, complete loss of air conditioning, and tacky rearview mirror decor to be "Totally Jalopy." She shared this sad but hilarious story with the Empress and BamaGirl. BamaGirl decided that SPC Tater Salad's befringed mini American flag would look better in Ebeneezer Cruise than stashed somewhere in SPC TS's room. So the flag dangles proudly from the windshield by way of a little suction cup.

The Countess says, "If you must be old and busted, be old and busted with flair."

Ebeneezer's continuing transformation into a jalopy shows that he needs a new name: a swarmily Spanglish name wafting eau de nasty hair gel and sporting a check-ya-later-baby smirk.

Rick Suavo.

"I theenk I'm in luv."