Given Nate's hatred of reality TV shows, I happened across one a couple of weeks ago that I'm curious to know what the Blogger Blaster has to say about it.
The Ultimate Fighter on Spike.
Big, buff, sweaty men beating each other up. Mmm... Well, at least I found a reason to watch it.
I know nothing about ultimate fighting other than it kinda looks like the movie Bloodsport (this was a movie my dad and I watched together. As sucky as the movie is, it holds a special place in my heart.) I think they should leave all that backstage bickering and complaining about who doesn't know how to use the grill out of the show. I don't want to know if they are drama queens! I don't care! Boring.
The show as a TV show isn't well done. It's actually kind of dull. I flipped back and forth until the weigh in.
More fighting!
Monday, February 28, 2005
Caption Contest - Oscar Edition
Hollywood had its big night last night. There are probably parties still going on right now. Not too many questionable Academy decisions but some questionable outfits? You betcha. No fashion critiques here - there are plenty of other places around the web where you can get that. But answer this:
What are Hilary Swank and Clint Eastwood saying to each other?
What are Hilary Swank and Clint Eastwood saying to each other?
Saturday, February 26, 2005
My Dream Man
A personal ad from Mr. Left:
"I'm a bleeding-heart pacifist vegetarian quasi-hippie, but I have a soft spot for crass, incorrect humor."He's a non-profit lawyer who can't live without pomade. OK - even I can live without my hair product. Dude.. are you trying to be gayer than the guys on Queer Eye? Ewww.
I'm back
I know. You all missed me terribly and could barely get through your day without some random observation from Her Royal Highness.
I'm not fully well yet (this is what happens when you don't treat a sinus infection right away and mistake it for just a plain old cold). But Zithromax is a wonderful thing.
Edited to add: Thank you all for the well wishes! I appreciate them.
Posting will re-commence.
I'm not fully well yet (this is what happens when you don't treat a sinus infection right away and mistake it for just a plain old cold). But Zithromax is a wonderful thing.
Edited to add: Thank you all for the well wishes! I appreciate them.
Posting will re-commence.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Pink Kitty is not available
The Empress is taking a few days off to recover from a sinus infection. Posting between now and Monday will be partly sneezy with a chance for showers late in the week.
Elena, post something here or at polka dotted sky please?
Elena, post something here or at polka dotted sky please?
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Green is Gay
Or is it purple for Barney and Tinky Winky (with his red man-purse. Incidentally, Fendi's mens line for Fall 2005 was full of man purses. Eww.).
Little did we know that Shrek's marriage to Fiona was a ruse. He was really after Prince Charming. Or would it be Donkey? They were rooming together after all.
What about all this inter-species relationships? The Queen was married to a frog. Donkey and the Dragon with their little mutated babies? Is anyone going to decry that? Huh? Dragons need love too!
Little did we know that Shrek's marriage to Fiona was a ruse. He was really after Prince Charming. Or would it be Donkey? They were rooming together after all.
What about all this inter-species relationships? The Queen was married to a frog. Donkey and the Dragon with their little mutated babies? Is anyone going to decry that? Huh? Dragons need love too!
There she is - not -... Miss America....
And the tribe has spoken. Jeff Probst takes away her little crown after some speech about fire being life.
The Donald jumps in and hops up and down about the Miss Universe pagent that he owns and he's pissed because Mark Burnett didn't think of it first for the Miss USA pagent (which Trump owns.) He threatens to fire Burnett but realizes that firing the god of Reality TV may not be a good idea since Trump will be replaced with Martha Stewart next year.
Oh wait. They paired up with William Morris. Will it be a spin off of America's Next Top Model? Tyra Banks may need more to do. Will they model clothes like on Project Runway (Fashion is all about it's in and what's out so says Heidi Klum. Will Michael Kors be underwhelmed?) or SI's Swimsuit Model Search (air-brushed on suits as opposed to real swimsuits)? Will Simon be a judge for the talent competition? Absolutely dreadful.
There are a half-dozen shows that do it already and will probably do it better.
The Donald jumps in and hops up and down about the Miss Universe pagent that he owns and he's pissed because Mark Burnett didn't think of it first for the Miss USA pagent (which Trump owns.) He threatens to fire Burnett but realizes that firing the god of Reality TV may not be a good idea since Trump will be replaced with Martha Stewart next year.
Oh wait. They paired up with William Morris. Will it be a spin off of America's Next Top Model? Tyra Banks may need more to do. Will they model clothes like on Project Runway (Fashion is all about it's in and what's out so says Heidi Klum. Will Michael Kors be underwhelmed?) or SI's Swimsuit Model Search (air-brushed on suits as opposed to real swimsuits)? Will Simon be a judge for the talent competition? Absolutely dreadful.
There are a half-dozen shows that do it already and will probably do it better.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Belly Dance Photo of the Week
Here is a second installment of world's worst belly dance costumes.
OK... Let the Empress count the ways this cosume is wrong.
1) Bike shorts
2) Bike shorts
There is nothing feminine, sexy, seductive, attractive, or even cute about this costume. Bike shorts? They belong at the gym or on a bike trail - while riding a bike. They are not to be worn out among the general population and certainly NOT as a dance costume (the early 1990's - MC Hammer's back up dancers excluded).
Well, can we guess what body part we are trying to emphasize here? I don't think it's her chin.
Or here? It's the Sir Mix A Lot appreciation hip scarf. Notice how your cheeks will be nicely separated with this neat hip scarf. Perfectly round.. like a peach.
Or here? In fact, they think you need some help in focusing your attention....
OK... Let the Empress count the ways this cosume is wrong.
1) Bike shorts
2) Bike shorts
There is nothing feminine, sexy, seductive, attractive, or even cute about this costume. Bike shorts? They belong at the gym or on a bike trail - while riding a bike. They are not to be worn out among the general population and certainly NOT as a dance costume (the early 1990's - MC Hammer's back up dancers excluded).
Well, can we guess what body part we are trying to emphasize here? I don't think it's her chin.
Or here? It's the Sir Mix A Lot appreciation hip scarf. Notice how your cheeks will be nicely separated with this neat hip scarf. Perfectly round.. like a peach.
Or here? In fact, they think you need some help in focusing your attention....
Quote of the day
Found at Lucianne.com
'A blog is still a view of the world through a pinhole.'
- Executive Editor of the New York Times Bill Keller noted that it can sometimes fall as low as being a 'one man circle jerk.'
Cheese with that whine? He would probably say that people from Kansas aren't nearly as 'sophisticated' (cover word for intelligent) as those from cities like New York.
'A blog is still a view of the world through a pinhole.'
- Executive Editor of the New York Times Bill Keller noted that it can sometimes fall as low as being a 'one man circle jerk.'
Cheese with that whine? He would probably say that people from Kansas aren't nearly as 'sophisticated' (cover word for intelligent) as those from cities like New York.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
I cannot escape probate!
Last week, my uncle called to tell me he sold the property that he and my mom inherited when their mom passed away in 1986. They needed to know what was going on with the property when my mom passed away.
"I thought she did a quit claim deed and gave it to you."
Well, no.
For my new readers, please allow me to explain. I was the administrator of my mom's estate when she passed in 2000. And sort of when my grandmother passed in 2003 but my dad was on the papers. When my dad passed away in 2004, I was named administator of his estate AND of her estate. Needless to say, I think I have more experience than most people who aren't in the business of death and attorneys.
Well, I gave my uncle my attorney's phone number. She looked through her records.
"No, I didn't do a quit claim deed on it. Maybe it was in your grandmother's home county." (where the property is). "Have him check with the register of deeds in that county. If not, an attorney in that county can file an affidavit and you and your brother (who is in Iraq and can't exactly sign anything right now.. thank God for Power of Attorney) can sign it over to him since her half would have gone automatically to her heirs on her death."
"OK. Not a problem."
"Well, there could be. The title company may not issue insurance on it. Your grandmother's estate may have to go into probate."
"What?"
"Yeah but that needs to be handled by someone in that county. It's not something I can really help with since the property isn't in Nashville."
"OK. Thanks. I appreciate it."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I will never be threw with these estates! One from 19 years ago is coming back to bite me on the tookis. For crying out loud.
"I thought she did a quit claim deed and gave it to you."
Well, no.
For my new readers, please allow me to explain. I was the administrator of my mom's estate when she passed in 2000. And sort of when my grandmother passed in 2003 but my dad was on the papers. When my dad passed away in 2004, I was named administator of his estate AND of her estate. Needless to say, I think I have more experience than most people who aren't in the business of death and attorneys.
Well, I gave my uncle my attorney's phone number. She looked through her records.
"No, I didn't do a quit claim deed on it. Maybe it was in your grandmother's home county." (where the property is). "Have him check with the register of deeds in that county. If not, an attorney in that county can file an affidavit and you and your brother (who is in Iraq and can't exactly sign anything right now.. thank God for Power of Attorney) can sign it over to him since her half would have gone automatically to her heirs on her death."
"OK. Not a problem."
"Well, there could be. The title company may not issue insurance on it. Your grandmother's estate may have to go into probate."
"What?"
"Yeah but that needs to be handled by someone in that county. It's not something I can really help with since the property isn't in Nashville."
"OK. Thanks. I appreciate it."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I will never be threw with these estates! One from 19 years ago is coming back to bite me on the tookis. For crying out loud.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
New Contest! Festivus!
With the ever-popular Valentine's Day behind us and the ever-important (for those looking to find a sale) President's Day in front of us, Elena suggested a new contest:
What holiday would you create and when would it be? How would be celebrate?
What holiday would you create and when would it be? How would be celebrate?
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Bias? What bias?
So, there was this lecture by the guy from CNN.
I'm not going to cruicfy him. He was very entertaining and the lecture was quite enjoyable. Nearly everyone in the room thought there was a liberal media bias. Someone suggested that it is because it is a Republican in the office. Almost no one thought the media was easy on Clinton, so the question is "how can there be a liberal media bias?"
And he admitted there was a bias but not a philosophical bias. His arguement was that the bias was toward creating conflict, being anti-establishment (regardless of who was in office), and that many journalists were looking for a "gotcha" story. Because noisey shows and scoops get ratings, it can appear to be biased.
The only mention of bloggers came when he talked about how the story of Rathergate snowballed. The story of the memo was 'sloppy, awful journalism. The first thing they should have done was to check with a document examiner. I don't know one in the country that would have authenticated it. Now the credibility of CBS journalism is tarnished.' (rough paraphrase)
He mentioned bloggers and Eason Jordan - nothing of note. Both times he mentioned bloggers, he said "conservative bloggers." Hey - there are liberals ones out there. They are just bought and paid for by the Dean campaign.
Let's talk bias though. He said that wearing a campaign button, having a bumper sticker or contributing to a campaign is a fireable offense at CNN and at Fox. I guess no one mentioned it to the folks at CBS who had an anti-Bush thing in their news truck. He said that most of the main section stories in the NYT come from the Sunday morning talk shows.
I think what I enjoyed most was the discussion on how a simple (or not so simple) question can impact a candidate's entire image. Al Gore was going to appear on a show that he produced in 1999 to do an interview with Wolf Blitzer. When they were coming up with questions, he said "how about 'what separates you from Bill Bradley?" Wolf thought the question would be boring "I'm the Vice President" and no revealing answers. The guy insisted that Wolf ask it so Wolf did.
The answer?
'I invented the internet.'
After we all stopped snickering, we talked about spin. The Republicans issued press releases right away, one including Trent Lott's diagrams for the 1943, 1947, and 1973 paper clip that he invented. The producer felt that Al Gore dropped the ball in trying to halt the spin. If Al felt he mis-spoke, as some claim, then Al should have been more clear in his responses. Instead, a lifetime of public service was boiled down to claims that he created the internet and earth tone suits to make him appear like an Alpha Male. (When should Naomi Wolf give fashion advice anyway? She's a.. a.. not even a pundit and certainly not a stylist.)
I think that's it folks. If I find anything else in my notes, I'll add them. Ta-ta!
I'm not going to cruicfy him. He was very entertaining and the lecture was quite enjoyable. Nearly everyone in the room thought there was a liberal media bias. Someone suggested that it is because it is a Republican in the office. Almost no one thought the media was easy on Clinton, so the question is "how can there be a liberal media bias?"
And he admitted there was a bias but not a philosophical bias. His arguement was that the bias was toward creating conflict, being anti-establishment (regardless of who was in office), and that many journalists were looking for a "gotcha" story. Because noisey shows and scoops get ratings, it can appear to be biased.
The only mention of bloggers came when he talked about how the story of Rathergate snowballed. The story of the memo was 'sloppy, awful journalism. The first thing they should have done was to check with a document examiner. I don't know one in the country that would have authenticated it. Now the credibility of CBS journalism is tarnished.' (rough paraphrase)
He mentioned bloggers and Eason Jordan - nothing of note. Both times he mentioned bloggers, he said "conservative bloggers." Hey - there are liberals ones out there. They are just bought and paid for by the Dean campaign.
Let's talk bias though. He said that wearing a campaign button, having a bumper sticker or contributing to a campaign is a fireable offense at CNN and at Fox. I guess no one mentioned it to the folks at CBS who had an anti-Bush thing in their news truck. He said that most of the main section stories in the NYT come from the Sunday morning talk shows.
I think what I enjoyed most was the discussion on how a simple (or not so simple) question can impact a candidate's entire image. Al Gore was going to appear on a show that he produced in 1999 to do an interview with Wolf Blitzer. When they were coming up with questions, he said "how about 'what separates you from Bill Bradley?" Wolf thought the question would be boring "I'm the Vice President" and no revealing answers. The guy insisted that Wolf ask it so Wolf did.
The answer?
'I invented the internet.'
After we all stopped snickering, we talked about spin. The Republicans issued press releases right away, one including Trent Lott's diagrams for the 1943, 1947, and 1973 paper clip that he invented. The producer felt that Al Gore dropped the ball in trying to halt the spin. If Al felt he mis-spoke, as some claim, then Al should have been more clear in his responses. Instead, a lifetime of public service was boiled down to claims that he created the internet and earth tone suits to make him appear like an Alpha Male. (When should Naomi Wolf give fashion advice anyway? She's a.. a.. not even a pundit and certainly not a stylist.)
I think that's it folks. If I find anything else in my notes, I'll add them. Ta-ta!
Monday, February 14, 2005
Pink Kitty’s Advice Column: The Workplace
or “Better out than in, I always say”
Dear Gentle Reader (and not-so-Gentle Nate),
A word on etiquette when using the office restroom.
Farts happen. We Southern Belles will deny that gas ever escapes our bodies in a less-than-ladylike fashion. And it is perfectly fine for them to occur in the restroom. Much more acceptable than in the cubicle farm.
But if you must let out a nuclear level stinky fart, please please PLEASE use the air freshener supplied by your cleaning staff to soften the blow to those that follow.
Freshly re-perfumed,
Empress Kitty
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Happy Birthday to the Blog
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to the Scratching Post!
Happy Birthday to me!
- Signed the Scratching Post, who is 2 today. -
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to the Scratching Post!
Happy Birthday to me!
- Signed the Scratching Post, who is 2 today. -
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Blogger Bash Breakfast
Well, her ever-fabulousness herself got dolled up and trotted down to the Ch. 2 studio for doughnuts, coffee and shop talk with some of Nashville's finest - bloggers that is.
FINALLY met Blake in person (wearing the infamous Clay Aiken argyle sweater). Glad to meet you. And Bill Hobbs. And some of the fellas from Pith in the Wind. And Glen from the very new Nashville Truth. It was alot alot of fun. Mike, the GM, talked about how Ch. 2 doesn't see bloggers as competition but as yet another outlet. He was alot of fun to talk to. And for the group picture, Rex has a photo. And that would be me in the red, seated next to the Dragon.
And since there were bloggers around, someone live blogged it. The Dragon has the entry.
Yay! Can't wait for the next meeting.
Edited to add: WHERE are my manners??? The Empress sends out many thanks to Terry at The Pomo Blog for organizing this event. Thanks to Channel 2 for hosting (and for the link on the Nashville Blogs list. Nate has one on that list, too.)
Update: Terry has several photos on his blog.
FINALLY met Blake in person (wearing the infamous Clay Aiken argyle sweater). Glad to meet you. And Bill Hobbs. And some of the fellas from Pith in the Wind. And Glen from the very new Nashville Truth. It was alot alot of fun. Mike, the GM, talked about how Ch. 2 doesn't see bloggers as competition but as yet another outlet. He was alot of fun to talk to. And for the group picture, Rex has a photo. And that would be me in the red, seated next to the Dragon.
And since there were bloggers around, someone live blogged it. The Dragon has the entry.
Yay! Can't wait for the next meeting.
Edited to add: WHERE are my manners??? The Empress sends out many thanks to Terry at The Pomo Blog for organizing this event. Thanks to Channel 2 for hosting (and for the link on the Nashville Blogs list. Nate has one on that list, too.)
Update: Terry has several photos on his blog.
Times you wish you had a camera
A poem to honor my adventures at Target:
Jack Sprat would eat no fat
His girlfrend would eat no lean
He dress in goth
She like Stevie Nicks
And betwix the two of them,
They left the Empress bemused.
I got into the Cruiser to leave when this couple walked by. Normally, I'm really good about not staring. Not at this pair. He looked like a taller, skinny version of Clay Aiken with bright red hair and no stylist. His clothes were picked out at the Hot Topic used bin. She was this short, squatty pudgy (er.. very rotund) woman wearing a flowy white shirt and vest with a cowboy hat.
Or as Elena put it, "I am my own Ren Faire!"
Jack Sprat would eat no fat
His girlfrend would eat no lean
He dress in goth
She like Stevie Nicks
And betwix the two of them,
They left the Empress bemused.
I got into the Cruiser to leave when this couple walked by. Normally, I'm really good about not staring. Not at this pair. He looked like a taller, skinny version of Clay Aiken with bright red hair and no stylist. His clothes were picked out at the Hot Topic used bin. She was this short, squatty pudgy (er.. very rotund) woman wearing a flowy white shirt and vest with a cowboy hat.
Or as Elena put it, "I am my own Ren Faire!"
Friday, February 11, 2005
Irony?
From this week's campus calendar:
Special Lecture. "Media Bias in Campaign Coverage." Sam Feist, 1991 alum, Senior Political Producer for CNN. 5 p.m. Reception. Talk to begin at 6 p.m.
CNN and Media Bias? Right.... er... Left.
Special Lecture. "Media Bias in Campaign Coverage." Sam Feist, 1991 alum, Senior Political Producer for CNN. 5 p.m. Reception. Talk to begin at 6 p.m.
CNN and Media Bias? Right.... er... Left.
Defense of the Indefensible?
Nate has this to say:
As to whether or not I stand, or sit as the case may be, guilty of corrupting innocent little Elena with episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Yes, it was on my TV that she was exposed to that show.
But a certain Countess did make special trips to the Empress’s house to watch said show. Let’s remember a bit of personal responsibility here. If little Miss Elena was not enjoying herself or was in any way offended, she could have escorted herself right out the door. Geez, do you think we are going to watch NASCAR? We are girls!
And as Elena said “No one understands a woman’s *itchy side like a gay man.”
I stand by my TV viewing choices. I have not watched Queer Eye but for a few minutes in at least a few months. It is so 5 minutes ago. Played out. Done and frankly it’s moved to annoying. Gary Sinese is much better to watch on Wednesdays (on at the same time as one of the QE shows). Give me CSI any day. And thanks to syndication and multiple shows, I can watch CSI at least once a day on multiple stations if I were so inclined.
So Elena has publicly thrown PK under the bus... blaming PK for her exposure to Queer Eye for a Straight Guy.Hmm… First: can the Empress REALLY be tried in her own court? Nate that is just very… bold of you to march yourself into the Empress’s throne room and put her on trial. But being a benevolent Empress, I suppose I will humor the charge with a response and not send out for the Palace Guard to attack the Mountain Fortress or something.
Should this accusation turn out to be true...
There will be a proper sentencign hearing at the blogger blaster at a date to be announced later.
How answer you this charge?
(The Empress was confused about who was actually charged and Mr. Nate clarified it for me)
Throwing someone under a bus is a figure of speech. You, PK, are being accused of exposing the otherwise pure,virginal, and innocent Elena to that trash.
What say you?
As to whether or not I stand, or sit as the case may be, guilty of corrupting innocent little Elena with episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Yes, it was on my TV that she was exposed to that show.
But a certain Countess did make special trips to the Empress’s house to watch said show. Let’s remember a bit of personal responsibility here. If little Miss Elena was not enjoying herself or was in any way offended, she could have escorted herself right out the door. Geez, do you think we are going to watch NASCAR? We are girls!
And as Elena said “No one understands a woman’s *itchy side like a gay man.”
I stand by my TV viewing choices. I have not watched Queer Eye but for a few minutes in at least a few months. It is so 5 minutes ago. Played out. Done and frankly it’s moved to annoying. Gary Sinese is much better to watch on Wednesdays (on at the same time as one of the QE shows). Give me CSI any day. And thanks to syndication and multiple shows, I can watch CSI at least once a day on multiple stations if I were so inclined.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
A Good Idea or No?
*running out onto the political incorrect and stereotyping limb as fast and as far as she can*
Do you think it was wise to put in an Army surplus store next to the Ramadan International Food Mart and Restaurant?
Me neither.
Do you think it was wise to put in an Army surplus store next to the Ramadan International Food Mart and Restaurant?
Me neither.
TV Themes
I don't mean songs. I mean a distinct theme or idea that presented itself on two of my favorite shows this past week: Law and Order: SVU and CSI. It is a dramatic indulgence of my fascination for forensic science.
The rerun of SVU had a case of mistaken identity and murder surrounding mail order brides (twins). CSI started with a dead body in the desert who turned out to be a mail order bride murdered by her abusive husband (who had since re-married to another mail order bride. To keep her figure, he had padlocks on the cabinets and fridge; he had no phone in the house for her to use.)
Theme 1: Men are jerks.
Here is the altercation between Catherine Willows, Sara Sidel and Mr. Melton (ex-husband of one of the victims and as we find out later, her muderer):
Sara is the the personification of the educated American woman/witch. They've been working on this development in her character for at least a year. She's pushy, agressive, arrogant, has no life outside of work - like a man with boobs and minus a penis.
Theme 2: Foreign women are gold diggers/compliant/docile/greedy.
In the episode of SVU, the girl they thought was dead bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend getting expensive gifts and when she found someone with more money, she moved on. The sister stayed at home to take care of kids and make dinner. And then girl 1 finds girl 2 dead and assumes girl 2's identity and life.
Girl 1 is a gold digger. Girl 2 is the happy homemaker.
Then girl 1's body is found and ruins everything for girl 2 who steals everything from her husband and goes on the run. But... not to where we think. She goes to the agency that matched them up 5 years before to buy her sister's freedom from forced prostitution because her husband returned her in the 90 day trial period and got his money back. Whew.
Girl 3 is a prostitute. Are we seeing any stereotypes about Eastern European women here?
So, the Empress's advice to those seeking a foreign bride: Don't watch CSI or Law and Order.
The rerun of SVU had a case of mistaken identity and murder surrounding mail order brides (twins). CSI started with a dead body in the desert who turned out to be a mail order bride murdered by her abusive husband (who had since re-married to another mail order bride. To keep her figure, he had padlocks on the cabinets and fridge; he had no phone in the house for her to use.)
Theme 1: Men are jerks.
Here is the altercation between Catherine Willows, Sara Sidel and Mr. Melton (ex-husband of one of the victims and as we find out later, her muderer):
Catherine: Have a seat Mr. Melton.
Melton: I married Jun about a year after Svetlana left.
Catherine: And when was the last time you saw Svetlana?
Melton: It was about 2 years ago. She didn't come home one night. Next thing I know, the cops are knocking down my door. I thought something had happened to her but they were there to arrest me for hitting her.
Sara: Are you saying that you didn't?
Melton: We were married for three years. I never hit her.
Sara: Why would she lie?
Melton: I don't know.
Catherine: And then what happened?
Melton: After that I was done. I went looking for her to sign the divorce papers but it was like she fell off the face of the earth...
Sara: Or got buried a few feet under it?
Melton: I took our ads in the newspaper every day for a month. She never responded.
Catherine: Yet you didn't file a missing persons report.
Melton: I had been accused of abuse. How would that look?
Sara: You seem to care alot about how things look, Mr. Melton.
Catherine: We are going to need a list of Svetlana's friends and family.
Melton: She didn't have any.
Sara: She spawned from nothingness?
Melton: Her parents died in some kind of industrial accident in Odessa.
Catherine: Russia?
Melton: Yeah.
Catherine: How did you two meet?
Melton: We met through an agency.
Sara: Svetlana was a mail order bride?
Melton: We were introduced through an agency.
Sara: What happened? The Russian agency denied your application for another wife? Or you just lost your taste for white meat? Too tough?
Melton: You know what lady, I am not going to feel bad about my decision. I dated American women like you. They don't want to be anyone's wife or mother. You mention the word 'domestic' and they are done with you. It's nice to be needed and not resented.
Sara: I find isolation and dependancy really sexy too.
Melton: You can think whatever the hell you want.
Sara is the the personification of the educated American woman/witch. They've been working on this development in her character for at least a year. She's pushy, agressive, arrogant, has no life outside of work - like a man with boobs and minus a penis.
Theme 2: Foreign women are gold diggers/compliant/docile/greedy.
In the episode of SVU, the girl they thought was dead bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend getting expensive gifts and when she found someone with more money, she moved on. The sister stayed at home to take care of kids and make dinner. And then girl 1 finds girl 2 dead and assumes girl 2's identity and life.
Girl 1 is a gold digger. Girl 2 is the happy homemaker.
Then girl 1's body is found and ruins everything for girl 2 who steals everything from her husband and goes on the run. But... not to where we think. She goes to the agency that matched them up 5 years before to buy her sister's freedom from forced prostitution because her husband returned her in the 90 day trial period and got his money back. Whew.
Girl 3 is a prostitute. Are we seeing any stereotypes about Eastern European women here?
So, the Empress's advice to those seeking a foreign bride: Don't watch CSI or Law and Order.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Time Waster
You're going to let it be known that you are a
sexual being. Some people may be offended by
what you do, some will be amused, and some will
be turned on. In the future, you will
mysteriously acquire a British accent.
What band from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
A purr to IvanLenin.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Monday, February 07, 2005
Change of Heart
Destiny's Child has gone from being Independent Women who can take care of themselves and buy their own bling bling to looking for a Soldier who can take care of them and ride around in Impalas.
Poetry... sheer poetry....
Poetry... sheer poetry....
I love how he keep my body screamin' {Screamin'}
A rude boy that's good to me, wit street credibility
If his status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he lookin' at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Known to carry big things
If you know what I mean
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Saturday Adventures
Lynn and I went to Sparta, TN for a wedding of one of our best friends from high school. Whenever Lynn and I take a road trip, it's always an adventure.
In high school, a trip to Murfressboro left me with a dent in the side of my head from where she took the interstate exit a little too fast and I went sliding across the back seat and smacking into the frame of the car. Seatbelt? I don't need no stinkin' seat belt.
And where we were followed by some creep at Disneyworld all day (and stuck on the Small World ride for 20 minutes.. listening to that song.. I'm convinced that ride could be used for torture and should be classified as cruel and unusual punishment. One has to be a masochist to really enjoy that ride...)
Well, yesterday, we were driving to Sparta. And we got lost. Not for too long but the directions said nothing about the road veering to the left. We drove by this one house with a huge sign out by the street that said:
If I didn't know better, I would have thought we were at Nate's house.
When we finally found the road that the church was one, we saw this cow. We couldn't stop to investigate because there wasn't enough of a shoulder to safely pull over but it either had a milk jug tied to it's rear end or as Lynn said "it's having a baby! Pull over! I bet we can help."
"What?"
"I want to help."
"You've never helped anything give birth. What makes you think you can help a cow?"
"I don't know....."
We did not stop to find out what was happening with the cow.
The wedding was extremely laid back. Everyone looked great and we made it back to the city without further incident.
In high school, a trip to Murfressboro left me with a dent in the side of my head from where she took the interstate exit a little too fast and I went sliding across the back seat and smacking into the frame of the car. Seatbelt? I don't need no stinkin' seat belt.
And where we were followed by some creep at Disneyworld all day (and stuck on the Small World ride for 20 minutes.. listening to that song.. I'm convinced that ride could be used for torture and should be classified as cruel and unusual punishment. One has to be a masochist to really enjoy that ride...)
Well, yesterday, we were driving to Sparta. And we got lost. Not for too long but the directions said nothing about the road veering to the left. We drove by this one house with a huge sign out by the street that said:
It's your fault if you get shot.
If I didn't know better, I would have thought we were at Nate's house.
When we finally found the road that the church was one, we saw this cow. We couldn't stop to investigate because there wasn't enough of a shoulder to safely pull over but it either had a milk jug tied to it's rear end or as Lynn said "it's having a baby! Pull over! I bet we can help."
"What?"
"I want to help."
"You've never helped anything give birth. What makes you think you can help a cow?"
"I don't know....."
We did not stop to find out what was happening with the cow.
The wedding was extremely laid back. Everyone looked great and we made it back to the city without further incident.
Friday, February 04, 2005
Huh?
I received this in the weekly update of activities on campus:
3:15-4 p.m. Philosophy Lecture. "What's Wrong With the Female Nude?" Anne Eaton. Reception following, Philosophy Lounge.
I'm sure there are those that would say "Why are we even asking the question?" or "Nothing." Maybe if you are talking about Janeane Garofolo or something. But the lecture will probably go to the "objectifying women's bodies is wrong and horrible and leads to eating disorders" side.
Edited to add:
And later in the week we can all go to:
7-9:30 p.m. Women's Center Vagina Monologues.
3:15-4 p.m. Philosophy Lecture. "What's Wrong With the Female Nude?" Anne Eaton. Reception following, Philosophy Lounge.
I'm sure there are those that would say "Why are we even asking the question?" or "Nothing." Maybe if you are talking about Janeane Garofolo or something. But the lecture will probably go to the "objectifying women's bodies is wrong and horrible and leads to eating disorders" side.
Edited to add:
And later in the week we can all go to:
7-9:30 p.m. Women's Center Vagina Monologues.
New Poem at Countess's Cozy Corner
If you like poetry (unrhymed) and would like to contribute to Elena's creative efforts, she requests your perusal of and comments about her work at the Cozy Corner. (Imagine a book-filled room with pipe-smoke-infused Victorian wall coverings, leather-covered easy chairs, a companionable old pooch [select your favorite breed] or lap-loving cat right out of T. S. Eliot's collection, and a pot of tea [or a carafe of sherry or container of Scotch]. Nice and snuggly...not floweredy [ick].)
A wave of the feather pen to ya!
A wave of the feather pen to ya!
Caption Contest Winner
You've been waiting with baited breath for the Empress to announce the winner of the Caption Contest... and the Burger King cardboard crown go to....
Nate!
Because I really couldn't give it to myself (I really thought my "I'm so naughty, naughty I am" line was hysterical)....
Nate said:
"Ok Jimmy. Now remember... football is a really just a race. So when you hear 'hike' you put your head down and run as fast as you can and don't stop no matter what. We'll yell before you hit the fence." Elena's clothing entry would have been funnier if she used Gap Kids instead of the Pottery Barn. Does the Pottery Barn even sell clothes? I don't shop there... I have no idea.
Honorable mentions:
Nate the band geeks are over there.
Anonymous
Yoo-hoo-oo! Boys! I'm over hee-ere!
Elena
- Reminiscent of the back story of Mr. Slave on South Park.. hehehehe.
Nate!
Because I really couldn't give it to myself (I really thought my "I'm so naughty, naughty I am" line was hysterical)....
Nate said:
"Ok Jimmy. Now remember... football is a really just a race. So when you hear 'hike' you put your head down and run as fast as you can and don't stop no matter what. We'll yell before you hit the fence." Elena's clothing entry would have been funnier if she used Gap Kids instead of the Pottery Barn. Does the Pottery Barn even sell clothes? I don't shop there... I have no idea.
Honorable mentions:
Nate the band geeks are over there.
Anonymous
Yoo-hoo-oo! Boys! I'm over hee-ere!
Elena
- Reminiscent of the back story of Mr. Slave on South Park.. hehehehe.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Miss O'Hara goes on the job hunt
Miss O'Hara: PKs! That's IT! I could be a wedding planner for homosexuals! I'd be richer than Croesus!
pink_kitty_post: LOL!!!
Miss O'Hara: Frigging awesome!
Miss O'Hara: I'd be a GAziLLIONAIRE!
This and me breaking office equipment will keep the US economy stable through February.
pink_kitty_post: LOL!!!
Miss O'Hara: Frigging awesome!
Miss O'Hara: I'd be a GAziLLIONAIRE!
This and me breaking office equipment will keep the US economy stable through February.
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