Pink Kitty's Scratching Post

Silly links and random thoughts that are generally coherent. We are always looking for a warm place to nap or a mean feminist to scratch.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Birthday Wishes and Vintage Clothing Dreams

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Miss O'Hara!
Happy Birthday to you!!!


Now.. you know that I couldn't let this go once you told me :)

Granola Crunchy... *shudder*

Or maybe they are taking the liberal cool, hip person glasses thing a little too far. I'm sorry... but this is actually funny. Vox's post today is a good reason to post this.

Why can I laugh? It's funny! It sounds just.. so.. stupid.

Teens Bask In 'New Moon' Glow

Elena and I spoke about this article. To say that you are beautiful because your smart is an attempt to re-define the word "beautiful." Beautiful, according to dictionary.com, is
  1. Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight.
  2. Excellent; wonderful.
Having my own set of body image issues, part of me feels bad for laughing. I remember being 15 years old and completely insecure about how I looked in comparison to the other girls in my class who were skinny and pretty and had lots of money. Truth be told, it was always the last of the three that got me more than anything.

Then again, part of me doesn't. It's the part that, despite not being a size 4, seeks to look good where I am. And it's the part that acknowledges we live in a visual world and that more than likely will not change. So, why not be pleasant to look at as well as have a disposition to match (I'm still working on that last part... :) )?
"It's about looking into people on the inside and digging deep and finding what that is and celebrating it," says [Rachel] Johnson [editor of New Moon Magazine]. "It really is a celebration of who we are and what we can offer to the world."
And afterwards, we can all stand around in a circle and sing camp fire songs! Ohhhh. Maybe we will talk about sisterhood and all that lovey dovey feminist crap that in no way exists! There is no way that all women are my sisters because we happen to share a common monthly cycle or what not. May not be my competition but we are no sisters.

A note in response to Vox/Mike Adams's article: even in my wildest feminazi days, I never hated men that much. Oh my freaking word... y'all should just go read it for yourselves because you probably wouldn't believe me.

Speaking of... I haven't been mean to a feminist in a long while. Perhaps the Women's studies department has an event coming up I could crash.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

It isn't the Information Super Highway...

I think "Information gas station" is a better description for what people search for online. Don't go around barefoot.

DC should be glad that his daughters don't have access to my sitemeter report... Google has managed to lead people here looking for...
  • kitties with guns
  • smell her toes (I've known folks with all kinds of fetishes but I've never ever ever been able to make sense of foot fetishes)
  • Fat 12 year old girls pink easter hat
  • pink sissy
  • praise hilton kitty (hallelujah)
  • pink virgins (as opposed to... blue? nuclear piss yellow?)
  • lots of hits for Michael Schiavo and Jodi the fiance'
  • lots of hits for Condi Rice is a lesbian
  • pink and say lessons (What?)
  • Key scratching cars what does it mean (It means that someone doesn't like you... yeesh.)
  • Vandy girl style (I don't have any recommendations, but this site has the definitive guide on the sorority girl look.)
  • Bama Haters
Yes, it's a lazy post. I am looking for a good picture for the next caption contest. Belly dance photos will return next week. I'm going to a performance Saturday night and hope to have some pictures.

Labels:

A Super-Villian having a bad day?

This is one of the funnies things I've read: That's my Vader

I wish I wrote it. I can't remember who the purr should go to.. but I found it linked elsewhere.. maybe Bane.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

WARNING! HAIR EMERGENCY!!!

At the Opryland Hotel - Delta Conservatory!!! Get me some scissors and my stylist - STAT!

That's what I wanted to yell when I saw a woman that had hair like this:

I kid you not. 1980's hair on full display outside the Ben and Jerry's. The hairstyle dates from somewhere between 1987 and 1989 - I was in middle school when it was all the rage. I was so mad that I left my camera in the car.. it was definately worthy of a picture. I didn't see if she had tight-rolled her jeans, though. Tapered pants/jeans are bad enough but do you have to add to it by tight rolling them? Oh.. the horror! I don't they were acid washed either. It was the funniest thing I had seen in days.

But then there was funny and then there is scary... how about this:



*shudder*

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Spam... wonderful spam...

Check out this offer I got today:

Congratulations PINK KITTY You've Been Selected to Receive a Free Baby

I would have preferred a car.. a necklace.. a cabana boy but... there is just no accounting for what spammers are hawking these days.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

And you all thought I gave the dirt on the General Assembly

Check out Camp4u, written by State Represenative Stacey Campfield. (a purr to Bill Hobbs, Blake, and Matt)

And then visit the "brilliant" stylings of House Speaker Jimmy Naifeh's intern, alysha. She decides that she is going to tell Rep. Campfield that _he_ is the one out of line. (3/29 update: apparently alysha has deleted the text of her blog.)

Now, we all know I worked for State Senator John Ford and one time we had it out. And I fully expected to be dismissed from the program for chewing him out on the Senate floor. I wasn't. However, every other time, I was completely respectful of his position as a State Senator. He was elected (though we can wonder about the intelligence of his constituents).

I have to wonder if Miss Alysha missed the lecture given to interns on how to treat legislators.

Someone hasn't read Benjamin Franklin

"Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

(quote source here)

Blake, I sent my emails this morning.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Hearing more things

While having lunch at Panera Bakery:

Man 1: He's coming..
Man 2: Oh my god! He's coming?!!!
Man 1: Yes! Yes, he's coming!

Context... lovely context...

What?

From this week's campus calendar:

4-5 p.m. Special Inaugural Lecture. "Women: The Secret Weapon of Modern Warfare." Kelly Oliver.

The Secret Weapon of Modern Warfare?

Are they talking about women like Mata Hari who were spies?

Or Jessica Lynch who is held up as hero when she really didn't fight back like they said she did?

Or Lyndy whatever-her-name is who is pregnant and on trial for prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib?

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Thursday Morning Buzz

Or how many links can I get into one post?

Last night was the Evening with Mr. Roboto (sponsored by News 'Channel' 2) at Jackson's. First, I will run down the "who did I meet list" - great bloggers one and all:

  • Mr. Roboto, our gracious host.
  • Allen Forkum of Cox and Forkum (talk about your WOW! moments. It was like meeting a celebrity because I love their cartoons)
  • Blake (we all already know Blake)
  • Lesley of VivaLaLesley
  • Rex of Rexblog (who will be putting up a podcast. Her Highness was interviewed so if you are curious as to just exactly how much of an accent she has, check Rex's site shortly)
  • Tim Morgan
  • And not to be confusing but I also met T-Man (whose name is also Tim)
  • Terry Heaton, who put together the original Blogger Breakfast
  • MMMikey of Who you talkin' at (and MMMikey's wife who's blog I just found out about but don't have a URL)
  • Linda W.
  • Busy Mom
  • Muffy at Karmadgeon
  • Paul, or as I call him around here The Dragon
  • Meg, the Saucy Librarian
  • Justin, one of the weather guys, from News2
  • Kevin Barbieux, the formerly homeless blogger was there but I didn't get to meet him.

And I'm sure there are others that I've left off - hey I was glad to meet you too!

Mr. Roboto said that he hoped I would be kind in my post of the event. He is quite charming and very funny. It was a blast! Thank you so much for coordinating the event and I hope it certainly won't be the last. Though you should read Blake's post on how to wear a tux. :)

Maybe we should have a post-income tax filing party in April.

It's great to be in a room with people and when you start talking about your sitemeter report they know what your talking about. And where when we say "the puppy blender" almost everyone knows who we are talking about. In a discussion with either Rex or a Vandy grad student named David (I can't remember who), we talked about the response one gets from co-workers when you tell them you have a blog. They look at you as if to say "do you like.. need an ointment for that? Is that a skin condition?"

Oh, TimMorgan, I was wrong (pay attention - I don't say so too often :) .) You asked me what INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST! meant. I got it confused with the Alliance's SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!, which is from the Cox and Forkum cartoon. The phrase you asked about is something Frank J at IMAO used when he declared war on the Puppy Blender. I don't think it means anything.

David asked me why I started blogging. "Vanity. I need to know that someone out there is reading what I have to say. And it's fun. If it wasn't fun, I wouldn't spend so much time on it. I've met lots of great writers who have unique views on any subject imaginable. I've actually learned quite a bit and been challenged to grow in different ways."

On the subject of get togethers, I was asked why did this online community decide to move offline. "The need for face-to-face interaction and real community. Humans need to sit across from someone and talk to them." And beer. And wine. Oh, Mr. Roboto, thank you for the drink.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Hearing things...

In my new job, I've now moved up to a cubicle that sits in front of a large window.

And I just think I heard someone yell "Captain Caaaavveeeee Maaaannn!"

Yep, I'm gonna like it here.

Drop that bottle!

You must use tap water! If you live in Paris, France that is.

Tap water is just fine.. it tastes the same as Dasani or Aquafina or Crystal Springs... Wait... doesn't Evian come from France?

Yet another example of the government bailing out a failing industry. People turn to bottled water not just because of quality but of convenience. They don't exactly let me use the tap at the local gas station, you know. And.. uh.. given the state of the bathrooms, I really wouldn't want to use the tap at the local gas station.

Today's lesson from Gone with the Wind

Gone with the Wind is one of my favorite movies. After watching it recently, I decided to read the book. Several chapters in, I've decided to bring you some of the lessons that I've learned.

Lesson 1.

Being gentle isn't weakness. Or "One doesn't have to be an uber-witch to get your point across."
"You must be more gentle, dear, more sedate," Ellen told her daughter [Scarlett]. "You must not interrupt gentlemen when they are speaking, even if you do think you know more about matters than they do. Gentlemen do not like forward girls." (p.59)
Scarlett is a manipulator. Aside from Ashley, when she saw something she wanted, she was able to get it if there weren't social restrictions on her behavior. Like many a modern girl, Scarlett was full of herself, headstrong, and driven. The difference, her society and class placed limits on what exactly she could/couldn't do if she wanted to remain in good standing. Today, those of the female gender blurt out what they would like, do what they please with little social consequence unless they happen to break the law and are arrested.

Songs glorify the independent woman who gets even with her stupid boyfriend.. the guy who fails to see exactly who great she is (even though she is probably psychotic.)

And then they are left with the question "why doesn't anyone like me?" Because you are a freak that's why.

Sisters: calm down, take a breath and think about what you are doing... could you say something in a more positive way? Would it be better just to keep your mouth shut? Is what you have to say *really* contributing to the conversation or are you talking to hear yourself talk? I am not saying abandon your personality. I am just asking that before you do a flying leap because something hacked you off that you think about it before reacting.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Belly dance for the Knoxville crowd



Go Vols

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Are you sure that's waterproof mascara?

That could have been the subtitle to the documentary "The Eyes of Tammy Faye." It was entertaining, very campy to the point of being cheesey, and if you've been curious about Tammy's life just prior to her re-birth on The Surreal Life on VH1, it's worth a rental. It's definately a doc in her favor and she tries to paint herself as an innocent woman who was just there to sing and host a show. I don't know to what extent her involvement was in any of the illegal activities at PTL but I don't think she was an innocent bystandard.

I think this documentary can be a bit challenging at times for Christians because the most vicious of attacks came from the Christian community for many years. Deservedly so in some cases but PTL did what few Christian ministries did in the early 1980's which was to reach out to the gay community and treat them as human beings. Tammy's former co-host Jim J. Bullock said that he was pretty sure Tammy was against homosexuality but she never let that affect how she treated him.

In the film, Pat Boone stated that Christians are the only ones to attack their wounded.

I've heard it said time and time again "God doesn't make junk" and it is very easy for Chrisitans to get self-righteous about their position on gays, sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc... and look down their noses at someone who is struggling. We offer more sympathy to those in the secular community struggling with an addition than someone within our own church family. For example: divorce. I can think of several instances where people I know were ostracized due to divorce when they had biblical reasons for doing so. At a time when people need love and support the most, they are tossed out like garbage and not worthy because 'you didn't love your husband enough.. you didn't submit enough..'.

Elena reminded me of this last night. We were on our way to meet Blake (with Miss O'Hara and her Dear Companion). Driving down 4th Ave., there were 3 homeless people sleeping on grates on the sidewalk. I said "Oh lovely." With a lot of disdain and scorn in my voice.

Elena said "Poor things." With alot of sympathy and care in her voice.

Talk about your humbling moments. Elena has been working for the last few years with a ministry that reaches the homeless. She sees them as people. I saw them as a public nusance. I don't think anyone was aware of it in the car, I felt very inadequate and put on the spot for my reaction to seeing them on the street. Things in my life could have turned out much differently. It could have been me sleeping there.

When my dad left, he could have refused to pay as much child support as he did (or none at all as sometimes happens.) But he did.

When my mom died, we could have been left without life insurance to pay off the house. But she did.

There but for the grace of God go I. And I needed to be reminded of it.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Market it... Package it.. Sell it...

Funding Scarce for Export of Democracy

Like everything else in America, we can find a way to put it in a box and sell it to someone willing to buy it.

Unfortunately it seems they can't find the venture capitalists to sink some poor saps money into the project (i.e. anything the Donald does since he seems to be the only one making money with all the times he's filed for bankruptcy.)

Oh.. wait.. they did. The American taxpayer. Oops.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Just desserts...

Say no to him... and he could say no to you, girls.

Language not safe for Elena's work.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

I don't think this is right.

Hrmmm...

HASH(0x8cc0920)
You speak eloquently and have seemingly read every
book ever published. You are a fountain of
endless (sometimes useless) knowledge, and
never fail to impress at a party. What people love: You can answer almost any
question people ask, and have thus been
nicknamed Jeeves. What people hate: You constantly correct their
grammar and insult their paperbacks.


What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, I have way too many books but most of them I've not read. I thought I would be a food and wine snob.

Can we guess what Elena will get on this quiz? :)

A purr to ThePinkKitty for this one.

What's worse that Legolas speaking in the Lord of the Rings movies?

Legolas singing

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Fear the Salmon. Fear the Hasselhoff.

What do you get when you mix one of the most annoying songs on the planet with David "I can fly better than Neo" Hasslehoff? Or is it David "I made this at the mall for $15" Hasselhoff?

Pink Kitty missing the Dancing Baby from Ally McBeal.

A sort-of purr to Miss O'Hara (she did send it to me....) but... now I will have to watch the Hootie "Tender Crisp Bacon Chedder Ranch" commercial to get that other freaking song out of my head.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

Further proof that legislators and others live in the land of Oz...

GAO Official: No Crisis in Social Security

Monday, March 14, 2005

All shall love me and despair...

Ann Coulter, Howard Dean and Al Sharpton will be on campus next week giving different lectures as a part of the Impact Series.

Ahh... one bonus of being an employee... free tickets.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Spiritual Movement

Part of this was written on 3/6/2005

This post is a bit more personal and not quite as humorous but it is something I have to share.

I re-dedicated my life to Christ about a year before my mom passed away in 2000. I would not have survived without the daily prayer, Bible study, and support of my church family. While I seriously doubt I would have killed myself, I would definately be emotionally dead and you would probably not be reading such masterpieces as the Oscar Edition caption contest summary or Leftist Fashion Advice (a personal favorite).

After that, as Elena could attest to, my relationship with God has been extremely spotty. There would be intense periods of prayer and growth followed by extreme patterns of rebellion covered with a spiritual veneer to hide the pain I am not willing to share with anyone.

For the past 5 years, I've struggled to talk to God. I talk to my cat more than I talk to Him. It isn't anger or resentment. I know my mom is in Heaven. I know she no longer suffers. I have truly been blessed by what has happened in my life. I am very grateful and thankful.

It was that I could no longer hear Him - even if He was speaking clearly, I refused to listen.

The past couple of weeks have been intense for me personally. Not all of it blogworthy. One morning late last week, it was cold and rainy. I was tired and not thrilled about dragging myself into work to be fussed at for nothing. In the middle of the lawn near my building, there was a pair of crows splashing around in a puddle and cawwing up a storm. They were hopping around and poking their beaks into the ground. I guess they found a stash of bugs like Fort Knox and were warning all of their crow buddies to stay away. I stopped and watched for a moment and thought "You take care of the sparrows and the lillies of the field. They want for nothing. How much more value do I have to you than these crows? How is it that I... I who have sooo much.. can't find joy on a daily basis? Why do I deny myself joy? Here are two crows.. ugly nasty crows rejoicing on such a miserable day. Why can't I rejoice?"

That prayer was followed with others wondering about where God was.. more appropriately, where I am in relation to Him. He doesn't move - I wander all over the place.

Fast forward to Friday night. Elena and I went to dinner. You've read some of her accounts of her slow reconcilliation with her father. That night she told me about how her parents were rebuilding their relationships with each other and Elena and her sister. I told her how I truly feel at peace about the political situation at work. I outlined how I was finally getting help to finish the estates and that they were almost finished. This week, I started a new relationship with my aunt and uncle (my mom's brother). We have never been close but they kept reaching out to me and finally.. I accepted. Much to my delight. They are good people with an equally warped sense of humor. It felt so good. And we both acknowledged that all of this - it was God. It was certainly nothing of our own creation. We may have taken steps to follow up but God is at the center of it.

"It's like.. I walked through this desert. For years, it seemed as though God was not here. He was so quiet. And now.. *boom* He says "Here I am! Now do you see me? I've been here all along." Doing things only He can do.. reaching us in unexpected ways.. and helping us to reach out to others."

Then I read DC's post about praying over his girls. And for the first time in a long time, I can feel the hard shell around my heart crack... just a little and the emotions come out. Good and bad; anger and thankfulness; love and jealousy.. all emotion and states of mind that I can lay at His feet.

It hurts.. but it is so good.

added 3/13/2005

Today, I was chatting with my pastor about the events of the week. He told me to stop praying for crazy stuff in his life.. that it had just been a roller coaster for the last two weeks and that he wanted the sedate, calm Tom back. I said "Now you know.. sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zones..."

"Oh hush up."

He and I talked about the roller coasters we have been on over the last year. Loss of loved ones, illness, job stress and how it was terrible loads to bear.. and that there were times when it seemed that God was distant. Where we were angry that we couldn't see or hear Him or why was all this crap happening to us.

Tom said "Pastor Pete said it best.. if there was every anything to take away from a service.. "God can handle your anger. You can't." "

Isn't that the truth? We try to bottle up our hurt, anger, resentment.. cover it up with pride. The longer we hide behind such facades, the more damage we do. I know I can't handle my anger which is usually tied to some hurt. I have to let it out - in constructive ways. Angry prayers, crying until I'm exhausted, pushing myself hard at the gym, sharing the situation with Elena or Duke Diva (who God has truly blessed me with!) and finding real ways to take action.

For the first time in 5 years, I know joy... I have never been more at peace.. more content with what was going on in my life. I don't mean that I'm going to sit here like a bump on a log.. I've got things to do. Content doesn't mean complacent or lazy. :) It also doesn't mean that I am overly thrilled with everything either or that I will be one of those shiny happy Christians who never shows any emotion at all.

I have a new connection with God.. more mature, more reverental.. more respect and humility.. more love than ever.

What a place to be in.

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Nasty dirty tricksy hobbites!

Hobbit picture 'four years away'

Freakin' sweet. I loved The Hobbit and when I re-read it last year, I could see it as a movie. Just so long as I don't have to hear Legolas or some other elf go on about Middle Earth while doing a Yoda impression, I'm good.

"A red sun rises.. yes... blood spilt this night has been." That was just stupid.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Friday Cat Blogging



I think I may have posted this before but she is just so darn cute! And the 9 Chickweed Lane cartoon fits her perfectly. Click the picture to enlarge.



Have a great weekend y'all!

Real Charity

Businessman Offers $1 Million to Keep Terri Schiavo Alive

Because we know (or at least suspect) that Michael Schiavo has been waging this battle to starve his wife to death so that he can get the settlement money free and clear. Because right now all it can be used for is her care which has probably been minimum at best.

Even though her parents have said for years they would take custody of her and use the money for her care and therapy. He hasn't given it up because I think he wants that money.

And if he doesn't accept, I think it shows that he really is only out to kill his wife and get her money.

I don't know if this offer is real or not but... Gloria Allred is involved. She's a bit on the wacked out side (she represented Amber Frey of the what was that guy's name.. Peterson's mistress) so why would anyone use her name for a hoax.

Madness.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Now it's time for...

Elena's Poetry Corner.

She's updated this site with some new poetry. Go and see the girl who is way more artistic than me. Wow. Good stuff chick.

A possible conversation between Michael Schiavo and Jodi The Fiance'

Jodi: I've waited for 10 years. How much longer will this go on, Michael?

Michael: Honey, it will be over soon. It will behind us and we can get married and have a new life together without the press and courts...

Jodi: I'm looking forward to that day. The kids will be glad to be rid of all of this stress. I do have a question for you, though.

Michael: Yes, what is it?

Jodi: If.. if I were injured in a car accident or something and I were disabled, what would you do?

Michael: [uncomfortable silence]

Jodi: Michael?

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Something else to tick Nate off...

... because I live to see him all riled up.

Communists For TennCare

via: Bill Hobbs

Ohhhh...

So now, the Senate has decide it wants a 'straight answer' on TennCare. And they want it out in the open... as opposed to all the behind the door meetings and decision making so that bills are just barely glanced at on their way through committee to the floor. Do us all a favor.. get rid of it. It's a major drain on resources. And the same people who want more money for education likely want more money for TennCare... and to fund it they want an income tax.

"Yep.. I'm sure of it darlin'... I hate 'em." And they don't remind me of me.

And Jack Bonnyman may not be the villain of TennCare but he is certainly in need of a stylist. Those glasses are hideous.

Kitties with guns...



shoot people.

Let that be a lesson to you... don't tick off your kitties.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

There's a party going on around here...

Nashville people, get yourself down to Jackson's on the 23rd. Meet the likes of.. me and Blake.. something about his birthday coming up... and Mr. Roboto who is organizing this shindig.

Needless to say, I will likely be going by my real name since "Empress" and "Pink Kitty" do not go over well in real life.

Pots and Kettles; Ribbons and Bows

Headline from WorldNetDaily:

Cronkite: Rather stayed years too long
Says Schieffer 'would have given the others a real run for their money'

Hmm... one old fart dissing another old fart yet giving props to another old fart... and all from the same MSM tradition. If they want to give people a run for their money, let Scrappleface give us the news.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Encounters with the neighbors

Or Episodes in Mistaken Sexuality

I like my neighbors. They have been really good to us (my brother and I). They are very friendly.. they are good people but.. Saturday.. well.. the story...

Elena and I went to the Rep to see "Noises Off" and to dinner and we came back to my house to sit and chat and watch back episodes of Project Runway. In the morning, after I met with the guy who bought my dad's store to go over what pieces I needed to move to my house, we went to breakfast.

When I got back, the neighbor asked "When did you get a roommate?"

"She's not a roommate. That's my best friend, Elena. You met her at my brother's going away party last year. We went to the Rep last night and when we got back, it was late so she stayed the night in my brother's room."

There was this... look... on her face. I can't describe it. And we talked about my brother and the Rep's productions and went our separate ways. I got in the house and thought "Blankity-blank. She thinks I'm a lesbian! Now I'm going to have to get some guy to come over here and defend my heterosexuality."

Yeesh. Don't I have enough to do than worry about the neighbors? Truthfully, yes but blankity-blank - I'm not gay!

Friday, March 04, 2005

Caption Contest - Oscar Edition - The Winner

*A large auditorium of people who could otherwise afford them sit in donated gowns and tuxes looking semi-fabulous. The orchestra is playing the theme from Terminator - the third time tonight, actually.

The host, not Chris Rock because the next presenter would not be caught dead at an event hosted or even attended by Chris Rock, says "Now let me bring up a young woman who has purred more than she has scratched... Empress Pink Kitty!"

Her Highness makes a grand entrance onto the stage; the envelope from PriceWaterhouseCooper Tires in her left hand, rings from Harry Winston-Salem on her right. And rightfully so. She never fails to make an entrance.

"Throughout the year, caption contests capture our imagination by forcing us to look at common pictures in an unusual way. It takes creative, talented and funny individuals to find the humor in these images. It is this group that we honor tonight and thank them for their dedicated service. The nominees are...

LF for "Hey Hilary, this isn't an Oscar in my pants . . ."

Red for "Clint, make my day. Get a breath mint!"

Nate for "Jeez Clint, it's the frickin' Oscars... couldn't you floss?"

and

Res Ispa for "Clint, You're old enough to be my great grandfather, are those your real teath?"

And the Oscar-Meyer goes to............

Ladies and gentlemen.. I don't quite believe it. It's a tie. Did the accountants get this right? Did they tally all the ballots, hanging chads, dimpled chads and Chad Lowe included?

The winners are LF and Nate!

*the Orchestra plays while Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, who are still working their way through as interns on The Simple Live 972, stand there holding a pair of bronzed Bill Clinton bobbleheads.*

I'm sorry about the statues, guys. It was kind of short notice and we used what we had on hand. He couldn't give them all away in his tsunami devistation and world book tour. You have 45 seconds for your acceptance speech and the other nominees have 20 seconds to gripe about it on the red carpet to E! on their way to the after-party.

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Another Edict from the Ministry of the Obvious

Recent headline from Foxnews.com:
Redistricting Battle in Georgia
Now that GOP is in control, Dems fear new boundaries could skew elections
But the GOP was supposed to be OK with it when Dems gerrymandered all over the place to carve up solid Dem districts. Seriously... who writes these headlines? Christine from Phantom of the Opera?

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Fashion Advice for the Leftist Set



  1. Smug looks and vacant stares are for the runway. If your picture is being taken by the press, you should do that head tilt thing like Paris Hilton.
  2. Ginny, honey... wide horizontal stripes work on NO one. Well.. unless you are trying to mark a parking lot, never use horizontal stripes.
  3. Ginny, dear... please see someone about your eyebrows. You could be hiding a terrorist in them.
  4. Proper support of "the girls" with good undergarments is always in style. Bra Burning is very 1960-something. But, I guess your politcs and personal style is probably still stuck in those "radical days." Your location, Berkeley, CA, seems to be suck in the 1960's.
I realize that this advice will likely fall on deaf ears as you both are likely to say "I want to be considered for my mind and not what I look like!" Well, I see what is coming out of your mind and it isn't very attractive either.

A purr to Six Meat Buffet and Digger for this lovely picture.

Naughty Naughty!

SugarLand - Baby Girl Lyrics
"They'll promise fancy cars an' diamond rings, an' all sorts of shiny things, But, girl, you'll remember what your knees are for."
OK... I'm sure they intended it to be a lyric about reminding the person in the song to pray, be humble and all that stuff... but... you know... uh... this is Nashville. I'm sure more than one contract was gotten via a different talent - not vocal talent but an oral talent none the less.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Candy choices

When I was at Target picking up supplies for the last minute Oscar party at my house, I noticed Hershey's had a new bag of candy out for nut lovers that had 4 different kinds of mini chocolate bars with nuts:
dark chocolate with almonds
white chocolate with peanuts
milk chocolate with cashews
milk chocolate with peanuts

So... the last one.. milk chocolate with peanuts... isn't that Mr. Goodbar? Marketing people....

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Duh.... uh der...

To retired Admiral Hutson, the lesson is that the U.S. military needs a midcourse correction. "If I thought that letting (open) gays in the military now would degrade the mission," he says, "I wouldn't be for it. The military mission is unique enough that it shouldn't be a social laboratory. But we are at a point now where we can do it. And once you can do it, that creates a moral imperative that means you must do it."
The military as a social laboratory? Nooooooooooooo....

I seem to recall that about the same time as the whole gay in the military thing started gaining momentum, there was a heck of a lot of flap about women in combat roles. They are good enough, smart enough, and dog gone it.. somebody likes them! We can watch Demi Moore make it through SEAL training in "GI Jane." (cough cough cough.. excuse me. I think I choaked on some feminist dogma.)

This attempt get the military to be more deconstructed brought to you by liberals everywhere and United Colors of Benetton.

Source for quote: Admiral steers support for gays in military - 02/28/05