Saturday, May 15, 2004

Recommended Viewing

Vh1 and Blender magazine's 50 most awesomely bad songs EVER. It was already mentioned by this blog when the list came out a couple of weeks ago... but now there is a show with funny people making sarcastic comments like "Come on... are you really scared of New Kids on the Block? Are they really tough and rough?" and "After hearing Rico Suave, you need to wash your hands. Ewww..."

Other musicians that need to be sent to re-education camps (beside those on this list, many of whom are blessedly one hit wonders but there are couple of musical turds by artists such as Phil Collins and Billy Joel - who have actually had good songs too):

Shania Twain - for having a guy on her tour use a key-tar (you know what they are.. where the keyboard player gets to walk around and pretend that he's a guitarist and it has a handle like the neck of a guitar except it does nothing). Shouldn't their be federal legislation to call for the destruction of all key-tars?

Any artist wearing Ugg boots (Uggs are short for ugly Australian imports that make even slim legs look like elephant feet)

Any male artist with just the bottom part of a goatee - minus the moustache part. It just covers the chin. Or the little sliver of hair or the little tuft under your lower lip. Any guy for that matter - not just musicians. It isn't cute. It isn't sexy. I want to call and make an appointment at your barber for you EVERYTIME I see some man with that. I'm talking to you Gentry (of Montgomery Gentry). You are way to hot to sink to such a facial hair low. And if a woman has that much hair on her chin, call the side show and make yourself some money girlfriend as the Bearded Lady.

In other news, Latoya was voted off American Idol this week. Why isn't Elton John calling the America racist for voting of 2 black people in a row? Is he too busy to hurl accusations... that would be because there were never any to throw in the first place!

And Rupert won a million dollars on Survivor. According to one of the guys on "Best week ever," "America loves Rupert. He's been on 2 seasons of Survivor. He directed 3 Lord of the Rings movies and helped out Harry Potter." Rupert really does look like Peter Jackson sans glasses. It's scary.