Sunday, May 23, 2004

Scratching Post Notches

Erik writes: Good article, tho a tad harsh on us men. Those bitter 30-ish twice divorced with kids women arent really good for anything else, and certainly dont engender respect for women in general

I started to respond in the comments but it got too long.

Agreed but I think that Miss O’Hara is hard on the women as well. We (in the historic sense) gave up what made us unique and special… and different from men. We bought a lie from radical feminism that women and men are the same. One recent book has been released discussing how unhappy and unfulfilled women are when they have sacrificed home/family/relationships to pursue careers. Of course, there are books to the contrary that say women are unhappy staying at home (see Betty Freidan that started this whole mess).

Dr. Laura thumped on women and their responsibilities in a relationship in her new book “The Care and Feeding of Husbands.” And in “10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives.”

Aside – reading through the list of books on women’s studies/general, a lot of the books are just pointless sounding tripe to be used in Women’s studies classes. I am sorry, but calling yourself a derogatory word is NOT a declaration of independence (see #73). And I think half of them are on the topic of the images society puts on women – the happy housewife, the 5’11” rail-thin model ideal or Carrie Bradshaw. Then there are the books of women fighting with other women (and why can’t we all just get along), how we are special because we get PMS, connect with the spirit world because of our monthly cycle, or about how we communicate with each other with secret decoder rings.


The point: in any relationship, if it is to be healthy, there has to be self-sacrifice. The pursuit of ‘happiness’ and ‘being fulfilled’ by another physical person this side of Heaven is going to amount to a boatload of un-happiness. Kimmie related a story of her friend who is going to leave her husband because she isn’t happy. Husband hasn’t done anything that would warrant a Biblical reason for divorce (not cheating, not abusive, does work and provide). Kimmie brought up the point about sacrifice – and Ruth (Kimmie’s friend is Jewish). Both men and women can learn a lot from Ruth.

We learn that life sucks and it is freaking hard.
We learn that there is incredible value in honoring commitments, being humble, hard work, and sacrifice.
We learn that Ruth did these things without expectation of a reward. God may not ‘reward’ us here – we are to store treasures in Heaven.
We learn the value of family and community.. and Naomi was one sly woman.

Probably why older women are called on in Titus to mentor younger ones.