“Would you like to take a survey….?”

The Empress’ Research Team is at it again! (You remember the sleep deprived monkeys, the cockatiels, and irate koala, right?)

For our Precision Guided Humor Assignment, we have decided to give CNN a hand with its *cough* un-biased questions for its next poll.

1) What would you like to do to George Bush?

A) Beat him with an ugly stick.
B) Vote for him.
C) Vote for John Kerry.
D) Picket in Florida over hanging chads and complain that he is the first “appointed” President.

2) Do you like CNN?

A) Yes.
B) No. I watch Fox. (Someone was asleep and this made it through)
C) Yes! OH MY GOD YES YES YES!
D) There are no other networks other than CNN. We are mesmerized by the voice of James Earl Jones. Resistance is Futile.

3) Do you support the War on Terror?

A) Yes.
B) No.
C) No – because CNN told me not to.
D) No, it isn’t a war because Congress hasn’t declared war. Only they have authority to declare war. This is an unmitigated attempt at establishing authority by a false President trying to make up for the sins and mistakes of his father. And Bush has messed up the environment and the economy has tanked….. ::the irate koala attacks respondent at this point to get him to shut up! The Empress is very pleased with the koala.::