Don't die unexpectedly

Or if you do, please kindly leave some documentation as to your mortgage.

Like.. is it being automatically deducted from your checking account? Or do you have 2 accounts at that bank so that it might create confusion for the administrator and the bank?

*grumble grumble* Or how about none of us ever die ever... then we don't have to worry about estate issues. That is a good solution.

It's taken me 2 weeks to get someone to return my phone call from a certain un-named large lender. Until I left a very firm message with the local office did ANYTHING actually happen with my dad's mortage account. We plan on selling the house, we just haven't gotten to that point yet.

But we will be getting to that point very very soon........

I hate dealing with estate issues.

All's quiet...

in the Empress' domain. Though if you ask the real Empress Kitty, she would beg differ (and told me so at 5am this morning when she demanded that I get out of bed... Kitties go airborn at that time of the day!)

Anyway, since I can't find any fun stories to blog about, I think I'll share one of my own... and we've all had this happen.

You are driving along, minding your own business. Out of no-where, this SUV comes barrelling down the road and has to slam on his breaks (mind you, I'm already at the speed limit which is keeping pace with traffic).

For the next half mile, he proceeds to ride my bumper until he can finally pull around and go sit on someone else's butt.. as I pulled past him, I yelled... "YOU MUST BE AN ALIEN! THANK YOU FOR THE ANAL PROBE!"

Another good one is:

"THANK YOU FOR THE RECTAL EXAM! NOW I DON'T HAVE TO SEE MY DOCTOR FOR ANOTHER YEAR!"

I have no idea if that idiot got it, but it felt good to yell it.

After lunch funny

Poetry regarding Michael Moore.

Jeff is a funny funny man. I laughed. I cried. I put in a trackback.

See also this review of the movie. Follow the link in the post. Read it carefully...

What if it were the other way around?

(some words edited due to the location of readers)

Would these feminists defend the right of men on campus to have p**is clubs? Or would c**k be more appropirate to match the c**t club available at Wesleyan University? Probably not.. they would say there isn't a need for such an organization because there are fraternities or secret societies for men.. or athletics. And from their vantage point, men are just offensive all the way around.

Unless they are of the sissified, wimpy, uber-apologetic, in touch with their feminine side, rainbow-flag waving, pro-abortion/anti-war marching, metrosexual and granola crunchy at the same time variety. Then they are ok. They only have the bits required for function.. they certainly don't have any b*lls.

Geez... trying to reclaim vulgar words as empowering is just... twisted. Apparently these young women have nothing better to do.

FrontPage magazine.com - Feminists for Obscenity by Mike Adams

Of course they think it is a mistake

When ALL that is on the news is Abu Ghraib, more GIs being attacked and killed, Abu Ghraib, Abu Ghraib, another terrorist attack, John Kerry in Vietnam, a beheading, "Bush is stupid" - from Michael Moore, and Abu Ghraib.

Yahoo! News - Poll: 54 Percent Say Iraq War a Mistake

We never ever ever hear stories about the local elections in Iraq - and the former Baathists and radicals keep losing. They have no popular support. We don't hear about the rebuilt communities. We barely hear that their soccer team qualified for the Olympic games. See this article for more good news in Iraq.

Other Linky things:

Monica Lewinsky is hurt that Bill Clinton did not "acknowledge how he destroyed her life." What a fine example of deflection of personal responsibility.

Yes, he abused his power. Yes, he cheated on his wife (many many times). Yes, he has know idea what "is" is. But, dearheart, it takes two to tango... and um... you were the one to get to your knees. Were you thinking about just what giving the President of the US a blow job might do to the rest of your life? No... "I get to play around with the President! Yippee!!!" Bear some of the responsibility on your own shoulders. You will get more respect for it.

Coke makes kids fat or not. The Governor has asked for proof of that statement before decided to pull soft-drink machines from schools.

Just more from the "public interest" groups that want to stop you from smoking, drinking - even cokes, eating tasty foods like movie theater popcorn with butter or bacon, and driving your SUV. I hate them about as much as I hate the government.

Drink-o-Meter Find out how much you have had in your entire life.

Nate....

The Blogger Blaster has a post on cursing. What made this memorable was that Blondie (my supervisor) and I had a conversation about cursing yesterday afternoon. We were being silly and decided to come up with alternate words... they don't have the same impact but it would be hysterical to see the reaction..

excrement and sexual intercourse were as far as we got when our PR guy walked in and joined the discussion. At the end he said "Alright. I'm leaving... I know when I'm being bull-excremented."

OK.. so maybe you had to be there.. but I still think it's funny.

The Pan Galactic Blogger Blaster

Since they can't win any other way

Liberals are accusing conservative groups of trying to silence Farenheit 9/11, but if the promotion breaks the law then yes, they should surely try to stop it.

We have heard over an over again about the violent and angry responses of liberal activists to conservative positions (see Protest Warrior for a collection of encounters with "the enemy" :) ). They try to forcibily silence those they do not agree with since they cannot win in a face-to-face debate.

Now, they are trying to silence one of their own...

State Demos turn to court to block Nader

Moore Watching

Looks like he may not be able to advertise for his movie/DVD through the election season.

The FEC general counsel said his movie falls under the McCain-Feingold Act. "Section 100.29 of the federal election regulations defines restricted corporate-funded ads as those that identify a candidate by his “name, nickname, photograph or drawing” or make it “otherwise apparent through an unambiguous reference.” "

Oops.

hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Sorry about that. Heh.

'Fahrenheit 9/11' ban?=The Hill.com=

Nashville Scene

Ms. Garrigan writes:
But the full effect of the two-term limit (eight years) for Metro Council members that Nashville voters have overwhelmingly approved by ballot is being felt now more than ever. As a result, a number of seasoned council veterans have been dispatched to early retirement on the golf course. Their learned diplomacy and useful knowledge of just the right person to call about those smelly Dumpsters in the alley are lost to constituents forever.

I will agree with her on the point in the full article that the current Council has been very uncivil and behaves badly with some frequency. Councilmen in office for 30 years isn't a good solution either.

I think that the bad behavior by government officials is just one more example of the vulgar nature of our society. We see it on the news, on reality TV, on sitcoms, in churches, in the mall, at home... why should we expect anything more from our elected officials?

Term limits in and of themselves are not the root cause of all the evil and uncivility in Nashville. See our fine state legislature for examples.

State Senator John Ford from Memphis... who has more illegitmate kids that can be counted, has attacked photographers, a state trooper, and Memphis utility workers. The lack of term limits have kept a wonderful upstanding citizen such as Senator Ford in office.

Sour grapes....

FOXNews.com - Politics - Texas Democrat Files Ethics Complaint on DeLay

So, the guy lost his seat in the primary after re-districting. Did he complain on behalf of the 2 GA Republicans that were forced to face each other in the primary after their districts were combined? Was that an ethical issue?

Not for him because it didn't affect him. Now that it does, waaaaaaaa.... ::passes the guy some cheese:: He has to blame someone else that he lost the election. Boo-hoo.

How much is your time worth?

At the time of this auction, his time was only worth $4.94.

eBay item 5503227417 (Ends Jun-26-04 17:38:34 PDT) - MY PERSONAL TIME - NO RESERVE

Personal RANT!

I hate Verizon wireless....

I am trying to cancel my dad's cell phone service. I forgot about it in all the other estate things to handle. I'd like to save the $100 a month considering no one is using it. I don't remember his mobile number and it bills automatically to his credit card.

I can't get to a real person without having the blankity-blank cussword obscenity phone number. Never mind I can give them anything else they want... but noooooooooooooooo I have to give them the stupid phone number.

I can't through the website to send an email...

I can't get through the customer service prompt system without a number... "Many of your questions will be answered if we have your number."

ARGH!!!!!! OK... I'm better now. But I still hate Verizon. I may just walk into a store and demand the bored-out-of-their-mind clerk help me.

I was thinking about switching my cell service but no, not now. Certainly not to Verizon.

Scratch Marks: Singin' the Song

Bob writes: "I remember my Dad saying that, 'til he was old enough to read the hymnal, he thought the carol was "We Three Kings of Orey and Tar," and the harvestime/Thanksgiving classic was "Bringing in the Cheese." "

This gave me an idea for even more participation! And some humor. We all need a good laugh. What song lyrics have you heard that have been.. um.. creatively spoken to the point they are unrecognizable.

ie: Jimi Hendrix "'scuse me while I kiss this guy" (real lyric is "kiss the sky.")

Song heard on the radio

Just proof that you should enunciate when you speak. On my way home yesterday, I was flipping through the radio stations and landed on one of the Christian stations.

The song was sung by one of those mid-80's, big hair, mega-church sanctuary, orchestra and choir, gaudy jewelry wearing women. It was the image burned into my brain being a 12 year old in church and hating it. To call this song "contemporary Christian" is an insult to artists such as Switchfoot, Jeremy Camp, Ginny Owens - that actually make good music.

Anyway, I could have sworn this woman said "there is no carbonation for those in Christ."

"WHAT??? What in the world does... ohhhhh she said 'condemnation.' Sure sounded like carbonation to me..."

Just what exactly are you....

Hat tip: Miss O'Hara

How to make a Pink Kitty

Ingredients: 1 part success 1 part self-sufficiency 1 part joy

Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Serve with a slice of wisdom and a pinch of salt. Yum!

or

How to make a Empress Kitty

Ingredients: 3 parts success 5 parts brilliance 5 parts empathy

Method: Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of emotion

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Moore Watching

Roger L. Simon: A Tale of Two Doorstoppers

Terrye (second or third comment down) has a very interesting point. Democrats and other assorted liberals had a hissy fit when Bush used some 9/11 footage in one of his commercials.

Where are the widows? Where are the outraged survivors? MM has made this movie to exploit their situation and distort the facts to his own motives (his lie in the movie that Bush arranged for the bin Laden family to be spirited out of the US has been disproven... I can't wait to hear more!).

Oh.. they aren't around because they ARE liberals and its ok to use the footage for their own benefit.

Riiiiiight.

A super-heroine is born

After reading WorldNetDaily: A doggie-dog world, Elena emailed me saying...

"I'll be the new super-heroine.....dun-dun-dun-da! Madame Grammarian! Saving the world from fallacious logic, dangling participles, and extraneous apostrophes...one sentence at a time!"

I don't think the entire outfit should have polka dots... maybe a really hip bag with polka dots. That would be cool.

--- Empress Kitty, Mistress of the extra and mis-placed comma ---

PS - the article is very entertaining. "And perhaps my favorite: "Although his injury still bothers him, he doesn't let it bother him." "

Yeah.

Grow up

In yet another attempt to hit the nostalgia factor for Gen X'ers, children's brands push into adult clothing. Or is it our denial that we are growing up and growing older? Somehow having things that we had when we were kids is supposed to make us feel young?

Barbie, Osh Kosh, and Hello Kitty.......

This Kitty will not wear Hello Kitty. She would much rather wear big girl clothes... ones that are designed for women to make them look like women. Not over-alls designed to remind you of being 2.

I admit, I'm a pretty nostalgic person. I watched VH1's I love the 70's and 80's with near religious devotion and will watch the 90's version in a few weeks. I sought out old copies of Voltron and Transformers videos. There's a still-in-the-box Darth Vader that has a place of honor on one of my book shelves.

But... to wear Hello Kitty when you are 30? Please. Grow up.

Redneck Words

Andymatic reports there is a request to federally fund a course on the Southern language.

The Professor (a native Canadian now in the deep deep South) said "Southern accents from women are sexy. Men with Southern accents just sound stupid." He would report that I do not have much of one. Most people from Nashville ask me when did I move here...

"Um.. I was born here."

"Really? You don't sound like it."

"Thanks. I'm trying not to."

Though my accent does make an appearance when I'm tired, angry, or not paying attention. Or outside of the South and people say "Where are you from? I can't figure it out but I love your accent!"

I do pronouce all of the word "Shelbyville" but will slur "Louisville" and its is not La Fayette.. it's "luh-fayit" here in Tennessee.

I say Hey Y'all and Yee-haw!!!!! - Gretchen Wilson

Miss being Mrs.

Not me... Since I haven't been a Mrs. yet, there isn't anything to miss.

Loretta Lynn. It's her new single that's pushing its way up the country charts.

I'm thrilled to see the older artists of country, those on which modern country stands, have hits today. Johnny Cash's last song "Hurt" and its video show an intimacy, vulnerabilty, and self-reflection at the end of a long and productive life. He took a song that was ok when Nine Inch Nails recorded it and made it a classic. He was truly robbed at the MTV Music Awards last year.. and Justin Timberlake knew it and acknowledged it. Just goes to show what happens when you let 15 year old girls vote.

In the video for "Miss being Mrs." and the album, Loretta has partnered with Jack White of the White Stripes. Kudos to the artists for pushing past labels and genres to just make good music.

See also: Big and Rich's CD. Love it. Own it. It's fantastic. As they say, it's "country music without prejudice."

Observations

TLC has a show called "Faking it." The episode last night took a Nebraska farmer and tried to turn her into a Manhatten socialite. Her final test was to make it through a ladies lunch correctly using her silverware, glassware and conducting herself with poise, confidence, dignity, and class.. and look very fashionable and chic.

The day before the test, a story appears in one of the papers saying that TLC has "a girl" posing as a socialite and she was at a charity benefit the night before. "Was anyone fooled? We think not."

Well Grace flipped out and her confidence sank. She lashed out, accusing her mentor Fabian Basabe (a handsome, very wealthy Manhatten "It boy" linked to Barbara Bush -the younger- earlier in the year) of leaking the story to the press. Grace had spent the previous 3 weeks almost battling Fabian (on the left in this picture) and her other mentors at every turn. She knew better and that was that.

For about a week, she had eased up and was very cooperative - until the story appeared in the paper. Fabian, to his credit, was extremely patient while demanding that she perform to the level required to pass the test. Of course, all of this is subject to editing... When Grace (ironic that that's her name) threw her hissy fit, he calmly looked at her and said something to the effect of "I think you know what the truth is. I do not appreciate your behavior and it will not help you tomorrow."

It got me thinking... I have seen many a man show incredible grace, restraint, and patience when dealing with an irrational and angry woman. It occured to me that this happens with some regularity. We women can be very abrasive and crass - even The Empress' can be a bit... rude. It is rooted in our feminist upbringings.

We are taught to be pushy, self-reliant, independent.. and through countless media images see women berating men. Girl power (and the idea of believing in yourself) is good...

Saying "Boys suck" is another. It's ok to belittle a man because if he tries to retort or fight back, we can get him back for abuse or harrassment. That's one of the reasons for the de-moralization of our military... what male is going to say anything about a female regardless of her rank? The fact that she can sue is rear is enough of a threat.. so the women get away with everything.

Yes, there are some clueless men just as there are extremely patient women.

We ladies should give men the credit they are due for putting up with our freakish mood swings and bad behavior.

Thank you :)

More fun things from the National Bolshevik Party! 

NBP

You know... how seriously can you take a party when the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail is on one of the posters? Do you feel like saying "You're a looney" after discussing why socialism/communism is a bad idea - after it has been disproven?

Perhaps the graphic is true.. they just keep coming - even though everyone knows they have been soundly defeated. They just do not acknowledge that they are just a bloody stump.

ARTHUR (after chopping of the Black Knight's arm):
Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT:
'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR:
A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT:
No, it isn't.
---
ARTHUR:
What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT:
I'm invincible!
ARTHUR:
You're a looney.
---
BLACK KNIGHT(now a stump sitting on the ground):
Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail script

Violins playing

WorldNetDaily: Failed G-8 protesters want government handout

Waaaahhhh.... No one came.... I don't want to pay any of my own money. According to the article, the city already waived alot of fees, aving the group thousands already.

"But we are credited for keeping the violence away from this G-8 conference." Sure. I have a feeling the violent ones were elsewhere.. probably still in Israel acting as human shields for the PLA.. because they are just that bright.

Does anyone else see the irony? They are protesting about the government and how much it abuses people but at the first opportunity, they ask for money. Further proof why government should be down-sized and out of the events planning business. At least they are taking a temporary stand and saying "no."

Pink Kitty's Site Meter Report

Or how to drive traffic to your blog. Write about lots of strange things and get google hits. More of the google searches that lead people to the blog:

"Heidi and Jenna for cookies no blur" (that would be going WAY back on the blog when I chided the wonder-twins from Survivor: Amazon for stripping for oreos and peanut butter)
"Save a horse ride a cowboy" (Big & Rich are awesome!!!)
"Blog pain high heel boots" (Uh... sure.)
"Vandygirls"
"God is better than football" (line from Harvie Krumpet - a short film is where I heard it)
"Pink Kitty"
"Bunions and high heel shoes"
"She humilated me by making me smell her toes" (No comment from this peanut gallery about odd fetishes... but ::shudder:: The google search took the person to my story about working for the General Assembly where I put a sentor in his place.)
and...

3 different searches for "nipple enhancement."

Michael Moore Watch

Sometimes, I wish I were this smart.

Right-Thinking from the Left Coast - The Loophole

What is "The Loophole?" The Democrats are going to use Farenheit 9/11 to campaign for Kerry after the PAC advertising deadlines pass.

By slamming Bush with the DVD ads for F 9/11, MoveOn will be able to contribute to Kerry's campaign on the down-low. They can't give money to him directly so they will sponsor the advertising that slams Bush.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Legal.. yes. Right.. no.

Hat tip: Musings of a Fat Kid

Earth to Clinton....

And Earth to the pollsters.

BILL CLINTON IS NOT RUNNING FOR OFFICE!!!!

Stop asking about whether we like him or not. Bill, can't you go away like Gerald Ford? Please? He's not in the news anymore...

Jimmy Carter barely makes waves - though he tries, he's just too skinny.

FOXNews.com - Poll: Public Views Clinton Favorably

From Vox's blog

Most of y'all read Vox's blog and I know Erik has posted in the discussion about women with long hair and other assests being attractive to men. I keep trying to post to it but every time I get something written, the comments thread has moved on and well..

It just looks like I wasn't paying any attention to go back to something referenced at the beginning when they are now talking about computer games or how to hide grey hair (my recommendation if it's just one, keep cutting it out. If it's more - get highlights. My hair will eventually be silver. I've seen one lonely little grey hair and it wasn't grey - it was silver and looked gorgeous. But I'm 28.. I don't need it to all go that color yet).

Anyway, so my thoughts on the whole matter of boobies and long hair are that they do work for attracting attention. But what kind of attention? I know one woman who is very curvy - long hair, well-endowed, small waist and proportionate hips - and she gets alot of male attention. And she says alot of it is unwanted. They only want to talk to her boobs. She gets frustrated because they never get past her exterior to see she is a beautiful, caring woman.

They just like her boobies.

I am not going to run out and get surgery just cause Vox says it will attract men. He is right. He's also right that long hair is attractive. Having Crystal Gale's hair is a bit much. To have hair like Pam Anderson or Jenna Jameson would require expensive extensions. That's how they got it. Most of us living in the real world don't have that kind of cash.

So, make the best with what God gave you. My hair looks silly when it gets too long. So, I keep it shoulder length or just below. Helps keep its natural curl (which I love love love love love). My stylist said "If you are wearing it up more than 2 days a week, come see me - it's too long and you need a cut."

Do not discount the power of a positive attitude and outlook. The Professor said to me in a conversation that he had dated women who were models but vapid and uninteresting. While conventionally beautiful, they did not merit another date. He has also gone out with women who are more like The Empress or Elena in shape.. plus-sized girls. Based on his experience, he had a much better time with the curvier girls. He said they didn't try any harder to please him (the addage is that fat girls are better in bed because they had to work harder to make men stay). But these women that he wanted to spend more time with had something behind the exterior. Intelligence, imagination, creativity, and a pleasant personality.

(Of course, The Empress screws that all up by going off half-cocked and over-reacting to what was a joke. She apologized for being a sour puss.. but The Professor has yet to write back.)

Back to the subject at hand - The Professor and I had a long coversation about this one night. What's attractive? What isn't? What do guys want? What do girls want? Guys, pretty much as a rule of thumb, want a woman that's feminine. Hair length aside, there are other ways to connote being female: clothes, make-up are obvious signals. Behavior and personality also help.

I related to him my decision and my journey to start acting like a girl as opposed to a freakish femi-nazi I had been in college and part of my professional life. I started dressing in a more feminine way and learning from the past (since Retro is very hip now). Dressing like a girl obviously helps say "Hey - I'm a girl." Making sure your clothes fit properly - potato sack dresses are not attractive on anyone - no matter what the ladiesagainstfeminism.com say. Yes, I still have an opinion on just about everything but I'm careful in how I say it. I don't have to be obnoxious or brash.

I also related the frustration in not dating. I've garnered more male attention but no dates and certainly no long-term relationship prospects. It dawned on me.. "the man I want to attract is too smart to go out with me as I am right now."

The Professor said that was an incredible insight.. I still haven't figured out why it's such an insight but I think it is a very true statement. I still have harpish tendancies. Deprogramming from many years of feminist BS takes a long time.

He also said "PK, you do, deep down, want to be found attractive by men. I also think you know how to be attractive. Most people are never going to achieve a physical ideal. There is always something we want to improve upon. Tone this up. Drop 10 lbs. Whatever it may be...."

And thanks to interruptions, I forgot the rest of my point.

So, here's one to wrap this whole thing up...

- Men want their women to be women.. not men in disguise.

- Women want their men to be men. Strong, responsible, and willing to lead.

- And a smile can go a long way.

Prayer Request

Nothing bad.. just that an opportunity has presented itself..

Please pray that it will be what God wants... and that I will present myself very clearly.

take the "what's your dark secret?" quiz
| courtesy of mewing.net. where darkness and secrecy abound.

Hat tip: Ian's Confusticated World

How to stop Michael Moore

Allow the free market to do so. Why didn't we think of this before?

According to the below article, just over 400 theaters have agreed to list the movie when it opens next week. I would guess the deadline to agree would be within the next couple of days to make sure it gets into local papers in time.

Sure. MM got a distributor. So did Mel Gibson. We saw what grass roots movement did for The Passion. Unfortunately, I don't think MM has the same fan base (per se) that Jesus Christ does. So, it will play in the theaters for a couple of weeks. And then there will be a another flurry of controversy when it goes to DVD in a few months.

Personally, I plan on passing up on the whole thing.

WorldNetDaily: Theaters wary of Michael Moore film

Erik has a blog now!

Converting the world to blogging.. one person at a time.

Emunda

Terrorist Olympic Events

It’s an even-numbered year. That means it’s time for the Olympics. The Empress is excited and ready to cheer on the USA in events like synchronized swimming, equestrian, river rafting, and shot throw backs or um…. shot put. Yes… shot put.

But for the first time, terrorists will be holding their own separate Olympics, competing for a gold, silver, or bronze goat. The winner will also have his pick of the 72 virgins. The female athletes will have the opportunity to be one of the virgins. In our Precision Guided Humor Assignment, the Alliance has asked us to report on some events that our friendly neighborhood terrorists will participate in. The “athletes” have worked hard. We’ve seen them climbing the monkey bars, scaling walls and crawling under box spring bits. With this kind of intense preparation, the events will be outstanding!

TRACK AND FIELD (and related events)

- The 100-meter crawl through the mud to kiss Osama Bin Ladin’s feet. Or is it the feet of Jacques Chirac?
- Hurling anti-American insults.
- In the triathlon, the three events are swimming (in sand), running (from the pigs that have been released), and listening to Michael Moore’s latest speech on his movie. The latter being the real test of endurance for the audience.
- Exclusively for women – tossing of the burqua. Two styles: rolled into a ball and pitched or free-flowing.
- Relay race with a stick of dynamite as a baton.

OTHER EVENTS

- Hide-n-go seek from the UN Weapons Inspectors or US bunker-buster bombs.
- Fencing of pirated DVDs on the Asian market (to fund training camps.)
- Shooting (guns, video, off at the mouth….)

Usually during the opening ceremonies, we see white doves released to remind us of the purpose of the Olympics – bringing the nations together for a time of peace and spirited competition before going back to our warring selves. In place of doves, at the Terrorist Games, we will see the release of memos from top operatives with statements like “3 more days – release the prisoners or unimaginable consequences will happen to tear down the West.” Or “France is right.”

Or this

The Belcourt Theatre : Uncovered: The Whole Truth About the War in Iraq

From MoveOn.org: "This controversial and arresting film takes you behind the walls of government, as CIA, Pentagon and foreign service experts speak out, many for the first time, detailing the lies, misstatements and exaggerations that served as the reasons to fight a "preemptive" war that wasn't necessary.

Also has an interview with the (discredited) Scott Ritter.

Geez... The Empress' love for independent film is being severely challenged.

Tell me this isn't biased....

The Belcourt Theatre : The Corporation

Featuring illuminating interviews with Noam Chomsky, Michael Moore, Howard Zinn and many others, THE CORPORATION charts the spectacular rise of an institution aimed at achieving specific economic goals as it also recounts victories against this apparently invincible force.

Sounds like this filmmaker went to the Michael Moore school of documentary filmmaking.

The same one where that guy who made Super-Size Me obtained his skills. The McDondald's in Australia are fighting back against the movie - saying "Yeah.. So what? The man over-ate. Over eat anything and you'll get fat and sick."

Linky things

The Truth (source linked below)

1. Humans are not destroying the planet
2. Global warming is a myth
3. Gay men should be allowed to get married...to the woman of their choice
4. Children don't die from second-hand smoke
5. Animals do not have rights
6. Genetically modified food is perfectly safe
7. Windmills are ugly and wind power is a joke
8. Red meat is good to eat
9. Life starts at conception
10. Bad things happen to good people

...and remember!

1. Ignore them! They're only Europeans
2. God is a carnivore
3. Fear not the big SUV
4. My kid beat up your anti-war protester
5. Race only matters to bigots, politicians and bigoted politicans
6. Keep your laws off our guns
7. Take time to enjoy a good fight every once in a while
8. Beer from a can, whiskey from a bottle... and smile!
9. Jeans and a T-shirt unless you're goin' to church or about to meet the President
10. Dolphin, tuna, manatee, it all tastes good on a sandwich

MetroSpy

A six-pack of champange

I'm not a wine snob but... some how.. the idea of champange in a can is offensive to me.

FOXNews.com - This Bubbly's for You

The Fashionista Strikes Again!

The fine, upstanding gentlemen who read the blog will just have to bear with me. A girl has got to talk about clothes and shoes once in a while.

FrontPage magazine.com - The Panty Jihad by Val MacQueen

-- It's ok for Muslims to be offended by nasty advertising and for the companies to do something about it. Don't put the billboard near the mosque - put it next to the church or the school. That's ok. But Christians complain and complain and complain.. it takes Janet Jackson's nipple popping up in prime time for anyone to listen.. for about 3 months.

The author is right - we are fast falling under the influence of Islam. Step by step. Creeping forward. Someone posited the other day in a discussion that the Anti-Christ will be a Muslim..

No, not being hateful but there is an effort to unite the Muslim states and those living abroad to conver their governments. Is it the UN we should be worried about?

Problem with your shoes? Fix your feet

-- from NYT (registration is free but required). Gist of the article is that in order to fit into our new Jimmy Choos, women are getting their toes cut off or after years of abuse, having collagen injected to cushion the blows of walking in high heels.

I now know why my nana would never even let me play as a child in her pink high heels. Bunions.

I love my high heels. I'm 5'3" - I can get away with 3" heels. Most fall in the 2" range though.. but as a tip for the shoe buyers: if the don't fit when you try them on the the store, they won't stretch to fit you later.

I had to leave a pair of Anne Klein stillettos at TJ Maxx much to my chagrin because they didn't fit. Oh.. just beautiful.. and the pointy toe.. But the pain was not worth how good they looked on my feet. Fun to walk around in for a couple of minutes though.

Oh - Clint from What not to wear said that many shoe manufacturers are coming out with comfort lines where the shoe begins to narrow after the toes so they aren't squished.

And is toe cleavage attractive? Did I miss something? I don't think so. Yeesh! It's like camel toe... ::shudders violently:: Just make sure your clothes and your shoes fit.

Dressing Well and loving it.

-- Ms. Lee states that sweats are for the gym not the grocery store. Agreed. Dressing up meant something... play clothes are now considered dressy.

"Sometimes I pass smartly dressed individuals and make a mental picture of them, fearful that sights like those are slipping away. I wonder if these souls are, like me, trying to hold on to a fast-fading formality, or dressed for a special event requiring fastidious attire. I hope they are simply meeting someone for lunch, someone special enough to dress up for."

Related - Cornpone said on his blog that the Army may go to no-shine boots.

And Lt. Smash tells us that the BDUs will be replaced with ACUs that somehow aren't nearly as.. um.. attractive. Too European for my taste. But dress uniforms on the other hand... mmmmm...

In a follow up to low-carb Coke

Batter-Coated Fries OK'd As Vegetable

For commerce only... not nutrition. Yeah right. You know how many kids are going to scream that their fries are now veggies and they will be glad to theirs and yours too.

On Education

The Empress doesn't think much of public schools. Neither does Debbie O'Hara (found at WND).

My problem with Mrs. O'Hara's (not our own Miss O'Hara) analysis is that she links an 1895 test that is supposed to show how the system has degenerated in the last 100+ years.

The Urban Legends Reference Page rightly points out that when you study for the test, when your classes and coursework are for the test, it's likely you know the information and can pass.

Just because those of us who've been out of school for years cannot remember when to use a capital letter (though we probably know a mis-placed capital when we see it because we had drilled into our heads in high school) or some of that math without the aid of a calculator does not mean we are any less intelligent.

Rather than focusing on rote memorization of rules, formulas, and facts, the 1895 tests lacks the skill of analysis.

For example: Take a given event in history, analyze the surrounding events that preceded it. What was its impact? What were the causes of WWI? Why was the Archduke assisinated? What philosophical theories impacted an event? You are a supporter of the King of England living in the colonies. Write an essay on why the colonies should remain just that and not seek independence. (I was a junior in college before I ever saw a dissenting opinion on the Revolution. To write such an essay would require teachers to teach all sides - oops.. we can't do that can we?)

And so on and so on. Talking about the history of a place or an event is one thing. Being able to understand its overall impact is another.

Elena and I were speaking about this last night when she was telling me about some articles she read. The author made a thesis statement but then refused to support it. The paper was more about why something was wrong with no solutions as to how to fix it.

Mrs. O'Hara is right. Government schools are generally of poor quality and will not educate your children in a Christian worldview (assuming you have that view). But some private, Christian schools are no better. They have no intellectual curiousity about anything that isn't listed in the Bible. Sound like the Taliban anyone?

Communism is a theory that has been debunked as a political system, but we still examine for historical context. Why not view evolution in the same way?

The Empress forgot her closing statement. Oh well... ::totters off to find something useful to do::

Huuah

I think that's how my brother told me how its spelled. Whatever the Army yells to get excited.

Just your typical soft-ball article on the seperation of families as soldiers deploy.

But it's my brother unit.

Tennessee unit preparing for Iraq - Tuesday, 06/15/04

Ebonics abound

The 'Last Haven'?

A university professor has found yet another form of egregious profiling going on in our world today and describes it as the last haven of discrimination, reports the Grand Rapids Press.

Denis Preston, a professor of English and linguistics at Michigan State University, says people routinely use speech to determine the race or socio-economic status of a speaker and consequently discriminate against people based on that information.

The report says laws currently don't reflect the ability of Americans to identify people on the basis of language, something that obviously needs to be corrected immediately.

How?

Just because I can identify someone as being from the poor college in town when they call doesn't mean that I treat them any differently than the applicants that come from within our own hallowed walls...

I just know the former stand much less of a chance of entrance because they cannot communicate, they have poor test scores, and march around with a chip on their shoulders the size of Montana claiming they are entitled.

FOXNews.com - Views - Tongue Tied - Evil Eye Contact, Angry Hermaphrodites

Has low-carb gone too far?

First living a low-carb lifestyle meant giving up things like bread, cola, and beer.

Now, there is Atkins-approved bread.
Low-carb beers (which are just light beers re-packaged and more expensive)

And now, I give you low(er)-carb Coke.

Coca-Cola C2

I saw it in the grocery store yesterday. Does it have few calories than diet coke? Because you can already have diet coke (or soda for those non-Coke drinkers or non-Southerns - everything down here is coke) on South Beach...

Diet Coke with lime is pretty tasty.

from a National Bolshevik Party rally. 

Awwww... aren't they cute in their red and black. Protesting capitalism is fun!

The large red sign says "National Bolshevik Party Russia" - that's all I can make out.

I think our little lady is saying Aren't I chic with my cigarette holder and fashionable black outfit? If Madonna dresses this way, it must be cool.. so long as I don't have to follow that kabbalah stuff.. because we communists know religion is passe'.

Everything is in the Constitution now

Pretty soon, you won't be able to spit without offending someone's Constitutional rights.

Michael "I don't have custody but I'm going to sue anyway" Newdow lost his fight with the Supreme Court and they ruled that he didn't have sufficient custody to bring the suit on behalf of his daughter.

What did he have to say: "What is being done to parents is unconstitutional." Among other things.

Anyone know where in our great document parental rights are spelled out?

The Empress thinks Mr. Newdow is full of it and needs a new hobby. Along with those at the ACLU who are now thinking of demanding the name of "Los Angeles" be changed because it causes people to think of angels and that's establishing religion and what not.

Funny, when I think about Lost Angeles, I think about granola cruchy, godless, druggies, left-leaning to the point of falling over (though not necessarily all together), wanna-be actors working as waiters.

Angels never crossed my mind.

Yahoo! News - Supreme Court Preserves 'God' in Pledge

Sometimes... advances in technology are not always a good thing

While checking email, a banner ad for a refridgerator appeared.

"A complete entertainment center in your fridge."

Huh? What? Why would I want a flat screen-TV and internet capabilities in my refridgerator door...? I watch TV in the den. I can see the TV from the kitchen.

It can also play music, tell you when it needs maintanence, keep track of what you have inside (which means you have to enter it into a database or delete it when you take something out), has a web cam, and a finger-print proof titanium brushed finish.

Seem like a lot of work for one appliance to do.. and I work in databases all day.. last thing I want to do when I get home from the grocery store is re-enter everything I just bought into one when I can open up the door and see if there is milk there or not.

Uhhh... der... der....

NATIONAL-BOLSHEVIK’S PRAYER

I’m, warrior NBP, greeting the new day. And in this Hour of Party Unity, I’m with my own brothers! I’m feeling the great power of all the Party brothers, wherever they nor were. Let my blood infuse in blood of the Partiy, let us figure united body.

Yes, Death! (Da, Smert’!)

National Bolshevik Party

Hat tip: The Commissar at Politburo Diktat. He always has the coolest stuff.

I'm going to link a couple of the pictures I like from the NBP site next week when I'm back at my other computer. We can all say "awwww... aren't socialists cute?"

Edited to add: I said something about it being a hoax. Maybe not. In digging further, I found a link to Hezbollah's site - as a friendly group to the NPB.

Yeah... aren't they cute.

Watching the funeral service

On Yahoo. Bill Clinton flashed up on the screen and... I cannot believe that man looked so smug. At least Hillary looks like a woman who is sympathetic with a family experiencing a loss.

Yeesh.

You can only name your children Jennifer, Bennifer, Ben, or Saran Wrap

Soaring to new heights of government regulation and intrusion on the lives of individuals (though they do have a reason), the Japanese government has decided to limit what you can name your child.

Out are the Chiquita Banana corporate looking names, bugs, evil, and trendy names. Well, they should be banned here. Naming your kid Mercedes just seems... well... um... stupid.

I always disliked my name growing up. It was odd and longer than most of the boxes for first names on standardized tests. It would end up with at least 2 letters cut off.

Rarely does anyone spell my name right on the first try. There are still those that have known me for years and still can't get it right. That second N....

Yahoo! News - Japanese Gov't Helps Determine Names

More exam responses

Spell check might be useful.....

CREATIVE AND/OR PHONETIC SPELLING:

tretrous [treacherous]
proclimated [proclaimed]
idealology
statutory neglect [salutary neglect]
Apalitian Mountains
import/exortation

I've been quiet

So here's a funny that Bama-Girl (my brother's girlfriend) sent:

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I'm the Ring Bear."

Clinton mad he won't speak at Reagan's funeral

He thinks it's a partisan attack on him because he's been critical of both Bush administrations. How about I clue him in:

1) It's about Ronald Reagan - not you. He has a real legacy. You will eventually be as memorable as um... um... one of those forgettable Presidents.. like #15 (right before Lincoln).

2) It's a funeral. People who know Ronald should be speaking about him. Margaret Thatcher has know him probably since at least 1980. You probably met him in 1992. Lady Thatcher has something to say about him as a person.

I'll think of some other reasons but please add your own :)

source: DRUDGE REPORT

Signs your marriage is already in trouble

Yahoo! News - Anthony Won't Confirm Marriage to J.Lo

It's bad when 1/2 of the couple won't confirm or deny whether they are married to the other half.

J.Lo. is making Elizabeth Taylor look stable in her relationships. I can't wait to see a 60 year old J. Lo with her 30 year old boy-toy. Assuming J.Lo. is still somehow relevant.

Women's Rights and a high school exam

I am not making this up. Elena was kind enough to forward these to me. And after I've recovered from laughing so hard it hurt.. and then going "this is just sad," I decided to share them with you. Over the next little bit, I will post the high quality answers to some exam questions. In discussing the impact of the American Revolution on the life of women and African-Americans, one student wrote:

"Women were expected to be the passenger in the minivan of their own lives."

"Although women had no political voice their pots began to boil"

"Because of the American Revolution both women and slaves are treated better today"

"Social Darwinism, although Darwin hadn't been born yet, could have been a factor"

"Only men of the new country were allowed to have a mind."

-- The Empress' Research Team of the monkeys, cockatiels, and koala are more up to speed than this. Stay tuned for more..... --

Latest plastic surgery craze

Nipple enhancement. They take cartiledge from your ear to make your nipples permanently perky.

Headlights on all the time!!!!

Question... if they take the cartiledge from their ears for their nipples, will their ears hang low? Will they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?

Will their ears hang low?

Note: ads on side are not safe for work.

Found at: Dave's Daily

Folks, I am NOT making this up

This is the reason why a person is interested in one of our doctoral programs:

"Looking to futher my education. My Husband wants to sleep with a Dr. After 24 years of marriage He's getting restless."

Answers to the Austrian

Too bad the Austrian wouldn't listen if I came up and scratched him on the cheek or wacked him with my sceptre (I don't have either but I have a nifty hammer that could work...)

As I was bumming around, I found some very interesting articles that could be used to refute such... um... um.... overwhelming intelligence.

The Commisar at Politburo Ditkat discusses Vietnam, quagmire, Iraq and the reuinfication of Germany. Iraqi military independence could happen very quickly.

Alex Epstein at frontpagemag.com reaffirms our right to say "Whatever" to world opinion and go on our merry way.

US Veteran Dispatch reminds us that the terrorists are NOT nice guys... and they started it. And they deserve it. (hat tip: Protein Wisdom

I hate Europeans

I spent my entire morning arguing in IMs with a self-righteous Austrian guy who thought the US was imperialistic and opportunistic. He thought were were too consumed with power, that we were anti-environmental protection, out to constantly abuse the Iraqi people, and were just evil in general.

Below are exceprts from our coversation:

"The UN should be in control."
"Well, the UN pulled out right after the bullets started flying but haven't returned. Have anything to say about that?"
"The UN should be in control. The US should leave."
"We are. The Iraqis will have soverign control over their own country in less than 30 days. Our military is staying to ensure smooth transitions and continued protection."
"The US should leave now."

-----

"Bush knew about 9/11. I heard about it from Michael Moore."
"Michael Moore is a big fat liar. He's being ripped in the US press for making up things in his movies."
"Many famous people don't like Bush."
"Well, famous people didn't get to be famous because they are smart."

-----

"The planes that hit the WTC were empty."
"Like ---- they were. Over 80 people died on the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania. And another 50 when the Pentagon hit."
"One of them was completely empty."
"It was a 7 am flight - across country. Not many people fly that early in the morning and the bigger jets are designed for cross-country flights."
"American Airlines must nearly be bankrupt if they fly all the time with empty planes."
(I was not given a chance to retort this - he's right in that respect but I would have said "Can we not be grateful that more people didn't die in the terrorist attacks?")

----
"Why did the US pull of Kyoto? You don't care about the environment.... it's the law that trash is separated in Austria."
"Kyoto is a bad idea - out to punish successful, industrial countries and allow third world countries to continue abusing the environment."
"Austria is successful."
"For how much longer? Americans view environmental protection as a part of industry and if consumers want that, they will pay for it. It should not be a function of the government. The more the government gets involved, the worse a situation will get."
"Americans don't care about the streams..."
(The Empress really really really wants to whack him with her sceptre. If I had a gun on my person, I would have shot my monitor by this point.)

----

"You are a republican."
"No, I'm a libertarian who happens to be very pro self-defense."
"We have 4 parties in the Austrian government. You only have 2."
At this point, the wimp signed off. I left him a message stating that we have many political parties in the US, many formed in the last 30 years and working to give Americans an alternative to the nearly identical national parties.

God Bless the USA!

UPDATE - 2008:

STOP commenting here. This post is 4 years old. My opinion has changed.

I admit it - I was wrong. You were right. There. Go away. No further responses will be given.

Operation: Post Card

OK, we've just dropped off Specialist UTMan at the base.. next time I will see him will be July 4th (hopefully) then it could possibly be another year or more before I see him again.

In the mean time, the Empress would like the blogosphere to help out with Operation: Post Card. UTMan said that the one thing he would enjoy more than anything (other than going home) would be getting mail. "Even an ugly postcard that said 'Hey - How are you? Just want you to know I'm thinking about you.'"

So, think about it. Pray about it. Would you commit to sending my brother (or others in his unit if I can obtain addresses - it would suck to be the only one not getting any mail) a post card on a regular basis (say monthly) once he settled somewhere?

If so, reply to this post with your email address. I will add you to the list and let you know what the address is in a more private fashion rather than posting it on the blog. It will be a while before this would start but I want to get the word out now.

Let's remind our troops that they are special, loved, valued, and that we are proud of them! Particularly when they are The Empress' brother.

Trackbacks (foot prints around here) are welcome and encouraged!

The Many Faces of John Kerry

He looks alot like Gollum...

Two words: Personal Responsibility

“We need every person possible to get plugged in and be able to be self-sufficient, functioning adults,” said Jane Zehnder-Merrell, Michigan project director of Kids Count.

Why: so they can pay taxes... pay Social Security into a system that will not be there for them and all other social 'welfare' programs.

Of course if their parents had said "you are working this summer instead of goofing off" some of the burden that is currently being placed on tax payers to just get these kids on their feet could be avoided.

But it's more important to be their friends instead of their parents..

Source: Number of state's idle teens increases - 06/03/04

Rocket Scientist

The Washingtonienne, Jessica Cutter, speaks... and the Empress wants to releast the irate koala:

"But the real reason I went to New York is not to hook up with sailors; I am here to meet with book people. If I get a book deal, that means I will actually have to write a book, which means I will actually have to do some work to make a living, which is bitterly ironic, since I had the easiest job in the world before I got sacked"

Emphasis mine.

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Senator sacked me over tales of congress - Some not safe for work language.

Hat tip: The Commisar

Classic Literature makes the Oprah Book Club

Anna Karenina, possibly one of the world's most annoying books, is a best seller again.

I hate this book. I can't stand Tolstoy. It was probably the single hardest book to plod through since I was forced to read The Red Badge of Courage as a junior in high school.

While taking Russian as an undergrad, I complained to the instructor about how much I hated Anna Karenina, which I was reading for another class. She asked if I liked anything by Dostoyevsky. I said yes. She grinned and said "Well, people fall into one of two camps - they love Dostoyevsky and hate Tolstoy or vice versa. You fall into the former. And.. I agree with you."

Don't read The Red Badge of Courage. Go gouge your eyes out or something productive. I got a C that 6 weeks because I failed the quiz on RBC after refusing to finish the stupid book. I had B's up until that point. I didn't say anything to Mr. Rummage about the grade - it was what I deserved.

Change in Plans

UTMan's orders have been changed. He leaves for Knoxville Sunday instead of next Friday.

More stress more stress more stress!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Then again.. what would the Empress do if her life weren't overly dramatic or full of stress?

Speechless

DRUDGE REPORT has a story on women in the UK aborting their babies over such things as downs syndrome, deformed feet, or cleft lips/palates (the latter being very treatable with surgery).

I'm hoping it's a hoax that I've fallen for but my gut tells me, with our image obsessed culture it isn't. Perfect husband. Perfect wife. Perfect baby...

Sounds very Nazi-like.

Oddities

I always like reading my sitemeter report. It's fascinating to see how people found me floating out there in the blogosphere.

There are hits from Ian's site or Miss O'Hara's or Gilly's. Always glad to see you all :) And now Rockynoggin at cornpone. I see Elena too....

But the really interesting ones are courtesy of google. And some of the search criteria are really.. um.. well...

Michael Moore's biography (I bet they are shocked when they see mine courtesy of an Alliance PGHA. I've gotten at least 5 hits this weekend because of that phrase)
Viacom's Conspiracy (anyone know what that's about?)
Several related to Jeff Foxworthy jokes
The phrase "pink kitty"

Doing a google search myself for "pink kitty," beyond my own site which is #2 on google's page...
- there's some anime/furry page dedicated to pink kitties.
- a strip club named pink kitty
- an adult dvd about pink kitty. I didn't investigate any further. I don't want to know.
- Lots of childrens clothes with pink kitties on them.
- Hello Kitty! cr-- stuff.
- some really ugly pink kitty charms for a bracelet.

Dressing up; Dressing down

As a part of my internal changes to clean up my language (to not tear others down; to encourage and lift up) and to conduct myself with modesty and grace in public, some change occurs in what I wear and how I carry myself physically. I wear make up most days to work (foundation, bronzer and lipstick.. takes less than 2 minutes. Entire skin care routine can take less that 5 minutes - so ladies it doesn't take much to get yourself presentable.)

I also wear more nice slacks and skirts/dresses to work. Last week, I wore skirts/dresses 4 our of 5 days. I like dressing up. It focuses me for the day, starting the mental change from sleepy person to young professional.

Also an excuse to go shopping.. though I hardly need an excuse... Heh.

Anyway, Dennis Prager is right on target when he speaks of how you dress affecting the perception of those around you. Going to a non-denominational church, we are very casual. I don't think I've ever seen our Senior Pastor in a tie and he will wear sandals in hot weather (blessedly no shorts, though). Even for Easter.

Some time ago, I made the concisous choice of "I get dressed up for work. I get dressed up to go to dinner with friends. I need to get dressed up to go to church. Isn't God worth at least the same amount of effort to take that few moments in the morning to focus - to pray while getting ready as opposed to reflecting on my to-do list?"

It isn't about a self-centered nature to look good, though it is always nice to hear the compliments. It is about being appropriate to the situation and my clothes reflecting how I feel about myself. As God changes my heart and I see myself how He sees me, my sense of worth and value are more closely tied to Him.

You don't put a nice, sparkly diamond in a cheap fake gold setting. It cheapens the diamond.

WorldNetDaily: One man wore jacket and tie at high-school graduation