Belly Dance Photo of the Week

I'm bringing a legit photo this time! The dancer is Lisa Guiraut and the pictures are from the James Bond movie "From Russia With Love." It's my second favorite James Bond movie.. My personal favorite is Goldfinger. There is another Bond flick that has a dance in it - The Man with the Golden Gun.. but you know... even I have standards. I'm not about to put a picture of Roger Moore plucking the golden bullet from Saida's navel on my blog. You can rent the movie yourself to see it.

Earth Day Round-Up

As you can see, I'm totally down with Earth Day. So, throughout the day, I will be posting links to various Earth-Day friendly folks. It is the 35th anniversary and all.

• Cox and Forkum yell "timber" in their salute to Earth Day.
• Michael Silence has some photos of a Presidential motorcade in Cades Cove.
• Barking Moonbat Early Warning System analyzes the future of the environmental activist movement.
• Nate, the BloggerBlaster himself, renames it "Slap a Hippy" day.
• The lovely and talented Miss O'Hara has her own suggestions on how to celebrate Earth Day. Funny... they look alot like mine. Well, great minds think alike you know.
• Mark Rose at Right Minded dares to think the sun might cause global warming!
• Creed of Kings brings us "A Day in the Life of a Conservative." (a purr to Miss O'Hara) He is taking the evil trees down with him.
• Blogbat has a pledge to be active this Earth Day.
• Vox Day issues a reminder of what today *really* is - Happy Lenin Day.
• And it is the Beverly Hills 90210 guru (among other crappy shows) Aaron Spelling's birthday.
• Anklebiting Pundits remind us of the predictions made 35 years ago about the environment.. and gosh darnit.. we are still here! And something about clubbing seals, too... (via Daly Thoughts).
• A pair of Protest Warrior signs for those that want to take the demonstration offline and kill some trees.
  

How to Celebrate Earth Day the Pink Kitty Way

1) Eat something that used to be alive... like steak or lamb or veal. Humans do not count. Cannablism is never in vogue (unless you are in a plane crash like in that movie a few years back.)

2) Buy an SUV or drive an SUV. Drive it really fast and a long way.. with the AC on and the windows down.

3) Buy gas.

4) Don't recycle! Throw away your plastics, newspaper, tin cans, etc.. in the other trash bin. Fill up the land fill!

5) Since Green is the official color of Earth Day, wear something festive.. like nuclear yellow.

6) Support drilling in ANWR.

7) Wear polyester. Natural fibers are for wimps.

Caption Contest Winners

Well, gentle readers, I've had a couple of different contests running and some winners need to be announced!

In Contest One - the guy with the bonsai tree - the winner is:

Ashley the Blue Raider with:

Yes, Excellent. Soon I will groom you to take over the world, little Bonsai. I will hug you and squeeze you and call you George. Yes. YOU WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!

In Contest Two - male belly dancer extraordinare - the winner is:

Res Ipsa with:

Who needs 72 virgins?

I got rhythm, I got style, who could ask for anything more?

We also learned that Preston is rather fond of sparkly clothes.

Congrats to our winners! I couldn't find another Burger King crown but I have a neato set of Mickey Mouse ears available.

Public Service Announcement

Ace, Allah, and Wizbang have come up with the alert system you see on the right side of the screen so that we can all keep up with grand-poobah of blogging and the man who flip-flops almost as much as John Kerry - Andrew Sullivan.

I'm not sure how long I will leave it up but for the time being, it amuses me.

He gets flustered about gay marriage, every time W sneezes, and now the Pope. His little heart is constantly aflutter!

From the News Desk

Thanks to some government re-shuffling, you are now more likely to die by germs or guns than you are by eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

No mention of bad haircuts, death by vegatables, or crappy movies that bore you to the state of unconciousness where you are then picked up and hauled into the trash by 16 year old ushers who could care less about their job or the fact that one could conduct an archelogical dig on the floor of the theater and discover Jimmy Hoffa.

Celebrity Spotting

Sort of like Camel Spotting.. I take its number and list it in my book. So far at the Film Festival, I've spotted nearly.. oh I would have to say... one.

It's number was 2.

As in Former Vice-President Al Gore.

Yep. He was at the Saturday afternoon screening for High School Record. Ashley the Blue Raider and I were whispering as he and Tipper walked in... attracted the attention of the very-cute guy in the row in front of us. He probably thought we were Music Row Democrats or something.

Here's to hoping I see Mr. Film-guy again.

Overheard at lunch

Scene: A pair of Vandy-girls standing in the middle of the sidewalk chatting.

Girl 1: I'm like.. I'm like.. I'm like.. I'm like.. I'm like.. I'm like.. so I'm like.. I'm like..
Girl 2: So..
Girl 1: I'm like.. I'm like.. I'm like..

Pink Kitty nearly runs down the sidewalk to get away from the sea of likes before being completely swept under.

Somethings are just wrong

Re-making classic movies... colorizing black and white movies... Alabama football fans (heh)... non-cast iron skillet made corn bread.. Sheryl Crow's remake of "Sweet Child of Mine" and male belly dancers like this guy:



As far as I see it, there are 2 roles for men in belly dance. That of spectator and that of musician. And I really detest female dancers who think it is cute to pull men out of the audience.. in fact, they really shouldn't just randomly pull women out of the audience either. I've heard that there were occasions where the professional dancer was up-staged by the audience member.

Happy Monday there fellas! Caption it if you dare! I will announce the winner of the last contest with the Bonsai later this week.

It's that time again...

Last year, I brought y'all daily movie reviews from the films that I saw at the Nashville Film Festival. I don't know that I will do that this year because.. well... I'm seeing more movies than I did last year and just won't have the brain capacity to remember the story.

But I'll be sure to bring the tales of standing in line with the circus folk! Me excluded.. because we all know.. I'm am just that cool. That's way more entertaining.

There were the Che Guevara wannabes playing cards while waiting to get in to the movie.

Then there was the woman next to me who decided that it would be good to pay $8 to see the movie and talk to her friend on the cell phone for about half the time. Fortunately, the movie was loud enough that I didn't hear that much. Therefore, I didn't go postal on her a** as my GREATEST PET PEEVE IS people talking during the movie.. particularly one I haven't seen. I am the SHHH-nazi!

And to my left were the polite fellas who looked like Fat Joe and the Icy Hot Stuntaz rolled into one. Nice cologne. Apparently, the guy is a up and coming Nashville-based rapper. Whee... because I just love gangsta rap. *rolls her eyes* I think I was the only girl not all up in his grill because of who he was.. because I didn't have a clue until the director pointed him out. And I still didn't have a clue after he was pointed out. "Ok. That's cool."

But dude.. matching striped polos for you and your posse is way Montgomery Bell Academy. That's so high school. Your bling doesn't make it any more mature. It really just makes you look like a poser.

Worst shoe of the night goes to the woman who wore pink stilleto granny-style boots to match her pink suede jacket.. and couldn't really walk in her stilletos. I've said it before and I'll say it again - if you can't work the heels, don't wear them that high.

A Lesson for the Ladies

Everything in Nashville is memorialized in song. Vince Gill and his co-writer must be having some issues (or working through past ones) in this song. Just keep what it's about in mind, ladies. Stop gnawing...

She used to call me baby; I thought she was such a lady.
But, my, how things have changed since time's moved on.
I fear for my last dollar, an' all she'll do is holler.
Oh, my life has become a country song.

I've learned she can resist me by the way she always disses me,
An' comes to bed at night with that cold cream on.
Sometimes I might feel frisky, but these days it's just too risky.
It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your a** out all day long.

All day long, it goes on and on.
If a tree fell in the forest, she didn't hear it, would I still be wrong?
I guess I should admit it, she ain't ever gonna quit it:
It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your a** out all day long.

Man, I remember when her eyes used to be so blue an' shiny.
God, you ought to see what's happened to her hiney: (Her what?) Her hiney!
Man, that thing is big enoug to land a small plane on. (Small plane? Your tellin' it. )
I used to roll her in the clover, (Mmm huh!) but, thank God, those days are over.(I believe.)
It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your a** out all day long.

All day long, she gnaws on and on.
If some day, they dropped the big one,
I'd say: "Sweet Jesus, she's finally gonna leave me alone."
It's all right if we say it, 'cause the radio won't play it.
It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your a** out all day long.
It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your a** out all day long.

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips, At Night, (That chew your a** out all day long) by The Notorious Cherry Bombs

Listen to a sample...

My personal favorite line is If a tree fell in the forest, she didn't hear it, would I still be wrong?

I highly recommend the CD.

Scenes at Lunch

On my way back from lunch, I saw the above sign.. it says $21.9 for regular.

You know, it just doesn't seem that far off.

For Res

He asked about animated belly dance photos, well.. I'm going one better.

"Live with Regis and Kelly" - Clip of the Week

The Bellydance Superstars were on Live with Regis and Kelly recently. See Kelly dressed up in a belly dance costume (and not that entirely unfortunately looking.. I've seen some non-dancers pick out the most hideous things. This costume is quite nice.) along with Ansuya (who will be conducting a workshop in Nashville in June), Rachel Brice (my current favorite dancer), and Amar Gamal.

With a little digging, other video clips will be posted soon. Hehe.

Phrase of the Day

patriarchal pseudoscientific essentialist nonsense

From a review of Andrea Dworkin's book Intercourse

I found out that she has passed away, via Bane's blog. I know it's not polite to speak ill of the dead but.. I have nothing nice to say about her. I tried to read this book in my most radical days as a college feminist and I couldn't. I sent it back to amazon after barely finishing the first chapter. I guess it was proof that I really couldn't buy into the movement lock, stock, and barrell.

An interesting note. Ms. Dworkin was married.. she lived with this guy for like 30 years and they got married in 1998. In one of his books:

In this collection of 13 essays, radical feminist [John] Stoltenberg speaks openly and explicitly on male sexual identity and its interrelation with rape, war, abortion , homophobia, pornography, and injustice. His premise is that male sexual identity is a political and ethical construction connected to male supremacy. Based mostly on speeches delivered at colleges, community organizations, and regional and national conferences, his essays exhort individuals, especially men, to learn a new ethic and to examine their acts in view of the consequences for others. This book will enlighten, please, and anger readers.

And...

"Co-founder of Men Against Pornography, Stoltenberg considers himself a radical feminist. These 13 searching essays reflect his belief that male sexuality is an artificial, social-political construct, inextricably linked to widely held assumptions of men's 'natural' superiority over women," reported PW.

According to Fox, they were both openly gay. But since they were gay in opposite directions, they could get married to each other. Makes you wonder why they did? Gloria Steinem got married in her 60's because the institution had changed such that men and women were equal (rough paraphrasing of her words). Or maybe it had to do with taxes and such. I dunno and I don't really care.

It's all about searching...

Which Website are You?

Question for y'all

I've been mulling moving the Scratching Post away from blogger. While blogger has been alright, I've become extremely iritated with its recent outages and for the fact that it likes to eat my drafts of posts for snacky snacks. And PK iritated is not a pretty sight.

I won't be moving it to live journal or xanga. I know that some of y'all are more technically astute than I am.. so I'm looking for recommendations. Hosts, software, etc.. Feel free to post them or send me an email to pink_kitty_post@yahoo.com.

Thanks!

What would happen if...

Kelly Clarkson's new video for Since U Been Gone (where she trashes her ex's apartment) was followed up by CSI.

Because as cool and cathartic as it may be to totally trash the place of someone who wronged you, you are going to leave hair, finger prints and fibers all over the place. And the he's going to tell the police that "Well, I did break up with this girl recently. She didn't take it to well. Her phone number is bla-blah-blah." Then they are going to pick you up, haul you down to the station and once they match that fingerprint on the back of the picture you threw through the glass coffee table you will confess because you are terrified (like all good little girls who do something stupid on CSI) and will do some time for breaking and entering or something.

So, now your little hissy fit wasn't THAT good of an idea was it, Ms. Clarkson?

Website of the Day

Vatican: the Holy See

This is a very cool website. Learn lots of interesting things - like how one becomes a member of the Swiss Guard and Popes going back to 1878.

Freaky Friday Photo

"I'm huge!" If you can think of a funny caption, go right ahead. Maybe Res will win this time. :)

Hi there and Hello!

Welcome to those visiting courtesy of News2! Glad you are here and I hope that y'all will come back and visit.

For my next campaign, I will be trying to reduce my assesment of my home. I'm sorry but it is not worth what they say it is. And it going up over $5000 - just plain ridiculous. Then they are going to try to tax it even more? What? Do they think we are made of money?

My council member, Jason Alexander, was one of only 2 council members to vote against the last property tax increase. I'm hoping his opinion hasn't changed.

Maybe the horn-honkers need to come back.

Reality TV has jumped the shark!

Yes, I have declared it no longer worthy to watch (except for Survivor but even that is getting old.. and the Ultimate Fighter - it's last episode is next week and I don't know if it will make a return appearance).

Why? Why have I said that reality TV is dead?

1) Fabio's Mr. Romance. As if Fabio on TV isn't bad enough. Oh no.. we have a show that, my guess, is about finding the next great guy for the covers of romance novels. Created by Gene Simmons! Gene Simmons of Kiss! Ugh!

Oh my freakin' word. In less than 30 seconds, I nearly lost my dinner. And it was just the commercial! Something about a Romance Academy where they were wearing faux Hogwarts uniforms (it looked alot like the insignia of Gryffindor to me. JK Rowling should sue).. some without shirts (jacket and tie/slacks). Others have ripped the arms off the jacket/shirt.

I need a mint to get the nasty taste out of my mouth.. and a picture of Gerard Butler to get the image out of my head. Or Hugh Jackman. OK.. I feel better.

2) Style's Craft Corner Death Match. This is a show on a network that should know better.

It's a show about crafty people making crap out of other crap. Wait.. didn't TLC do this already on a big scale called Junkyard Wars? That was a cool show.. this.. this.. should be on a network I don't watch - HGTV. Not Style!

Reality TV is dead. Long live..... uh... Mark Burnett I guess.

I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille...

It was only a matter of time before my opinion was sought after. Heh.

WKRN, News 2, asked Blake and I to come down to the station and comment on the letter Chief Serpas sent to us regarding surveillence cameras. The video is now on News2's website. Look for the featured video clip "Metro bloggers speak out against cameras, get mixed results" about halfway down the page. Thanks to News2 for asking. It was fun.

The Professor said that some might think it was hypocritical or something for folks to go on TV to complain about surveillence cameras.

Not me. The more attention the better! :)

Update: The text version is up.

Did you get one?

Elena is handing out some Pretty Polka-dotted Scarf Awards.

I received a couple. So, here is my acceptance speech.

*audience applause, theme music playing. Pink Kitty wearing her favorite dress hurries up to the stage to receive her award*

I would first like to thank God for this wonderful opportunity. With Him, all things are possible. I would also like to thank the member of the academy, which is Elena. I am not sure what I did, but I am glad that I could be there for you, sister! This award proves to the world that I am smarter than I look. My mind isn't just focused on bad taste in clothes... my blog is.

*audience laughs and music begins to play*

Now hold up, I'm not finished Mr. Conductor. I've waited a long time to get up here and you can just wait to play the theme from Terminator for the umpteenth time tonight. Mr. Director, don't you dare cut to commerical.

I would like to thank my blog father, Bill Hobbs. If it wasn't for his blog on the income tax battle several years ago, I wouldn't be here.

Thanks to Michael Schiavo, without whom I wouldn't have a huge rise in hits. I know that as the controversy dies down, so will the hit count but I am going to enjoy it while I can.

I am grateful to Miss O'Hara, who helps proof read a fair number of my posts.

I would like to thank my agent, my lawyers, the accountant, real estate agent, the cook, the baker and candle stick maker.

But most of all, I want to thank you... my dear readers. Without you, I would be typing into a vaccum. Thanks for spending a part of your day reading my blog.

Be excellent to each other and party on dudes.. oh.. no.. that doesn't sound good. Too 1980's. Hrm.. how to end this speech...

Doc Holliday says "What do you want Wyatt?"
"Just to live a normal life."
"There is no normal life, there's just life, ya live it."

Thank you all and have a great night!

*Pink Kitty runs off the stage before security can grab her or the award as the orchestra plays the theme from Terminator - again.*

You know... God planned it that way.

This headline on Yahoo!

Eclipse set for same day as Pope's funeral

The article goes on to talk about how this will boost superstitions that major natural events will herald historical events. How positively medieval of you, Gaston. Next we will hear how boils are a punishment, comets will destroy the Earth (oh wait.. they made some movies about that) and all about the divine right of kings.

Serfs are still needed for Nate's Mountain Fortress. Bring your own burlap.

Supremely Bright Moment

This morning... I took off without my purse. No license. No cash. No lipstick.

Got my tote which has more than enough crap (a copy of the Nashville Scene, a sweater, Nashville Film Festival schedule and some estate stuff) in it but nothing really useful.

Like my lipstick.

Caption Contest Winner

Oh.. the choices, the choices. Many good entries this week. The winner is:

Miss O'Hara with:

"Well...you can buy...popcorn stock...butterflied stock...cajun stock...stuffed stock...coconut stock...lemon stock...jumbo stock...and you can grill it...boil it...bake it...fry it...sautee it...broil it... .... .... and that's about it."

Hahahahahahaha!!!!

Honorable mentions:

Res Ispa with:

Someone needs a Martha Stewart “pick me up” gift basket.

For those days when the Dow and the special prosecuting attorney don’t go your way.

Erik/Nate with variations on:

"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?"

Life at the Ivies must be horrible

Student life at Harvard lags peer schools, poll finds

With books such as the one below... no wonder Harvard students are depressed.

Well, at least she isn't doing Brown. Brown is where students rejected by Harvard go.

Bolsheviks are funny

Stansilov is commenting on this post from last year. He said that we will die beside their boots.

I thought it would be under. Ohh.. are they combat boots? Because that could hurt. If you are going to kill me, could you use Uggs? Just looking at them is enough to make a person go blind. Prolonged exposure could kill a person - they are that ugly.

Caption Contest Friday!

I have one of the Pope but since he is so sick it didn't seem to be in very good taste. However, if y'all don't care, I'll post it.



So.. what's going on with this guy? Describe it or give a possible conversation.

Remember: keep it safe for work. And since Nate is busy with his new baby, someone else might have a chance to win :)

Birthday Wishes and Vintage Clothing Dreams

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Miss O'Hara!
Happy Birthday to you!!!

Now.. you know that I couldn't let this go once you told me :)

Granola Crunchy... *shudder*

Or maybe they are taking the liberal cool, hip person glasses thing a little too far. I'm sorry... but this is actually funny. Vox's post today is a good reason to post this.

Why can I laugh? It's funny! It sounds just.. so.. stupid.

Teens Bask In 'New Moon' Glow

Elena and I spoke about this article. To say that you are beautiful because your smart is an attempt to re-define the word "beautiful." Beautiful, according to dictionary.com, is

1. Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight.
2. Excellent; wonderful.

Having my own set of body image issues, part of me feels bad for laughing. I remember being 15 years old and completely insecure about how I looked in comparison to the other girls in my class who were skinny and pretty and had lots of money. Truth be told, it was always the last of the three that got me more than anything.

Then again, part of me doesn't. It's the part that, despite not being a size 4, seeks to look good where I am. And it's the part that acknowledges we live in a visual world and that more than likely will not change. So, why not be pleasant to look at as well as have a disposition to match (I'm still working on that last part... :) )?

"It's about looking into people on the inside and digging deep and finding what that is and celebrating it," says [Rachel] Johnson [editor of New Moon Magazine]. "It really is a celebration of who we are and what we can offer to the world."

And afterwards, we can all stand around in a circle and sing camp fire songs! Ohhhh. Maybe we will talk about sisterhood and all that lovey dovey feminist crap that in no way exists! There is no way that all women are my sisters because we happen to share a common monthly cycle or what not. May not be my competition but we are no sisters.

A note in response to Vox/Mike Adams's article: even in my wildest feminazi days, I never hated men that much. Oh my freaking word... y'all should just go read it for yourselves because you probably wouldn't believe me.

Speaking of... I haven't been mean to a feminist in a long while. Perhaps the Women's studies department has an event coming up I could crash.

It isn't the Information Super Highway...

I think "Information gas station" is a better description for what people search for online. Don't go around barefoot.

DC should be glad that his daughters don't have access to my sitemeter report... Google has managed to lead people here looking for...

• kitties with guns
• smell her toes (I've known folks with all kinds of fetishes but I've never ever ever been able to make sense of foot fetishes)
• Fat 12 year old girls pink easter hat
• pink sissy
• praise hilton kitty (hallelujah)
• pink virgins (as opposed to... blue? nuclear piss yellow?)
• lots of hits for Michael Schiavo and Jodi the fiance'
• lots of hits for Condi Rice is a lesbian
• pink and say lessons (What?)
• Key scratching cars what does it mean (It means that someone doesn't like you... yeesh.)
• Vandy girl style (I don't have any recommendations, but this site has the definitive guide on the sorority girl look.)
  
• Bama Haters

Yes, it's a lazy post. I am looking for a good picture for the next caption contest. Belly dance photos will return next week. I'm going to a performance Saturday night and hope to have some pictures.

A Super-Villian having a bad day?

This is one of the funnies things I've read: That's my Vader

I wish I wrote it. I can't remember who the purr should go to.. but I found it linked elsewhere.. maybe Bane.

WARNING! HAIR EMERGENCY!!!

At the Opryland Hotel - Delta Conservatory!!! Get me some scissors and my stylist - STAT!

That's what I wanted to yell when I saw a woman that had hair like this:

I kid you not. 1980's hair on full display outside the Ben and Jerry's. The hairstyle dates from somewhere between 1987 and 1989 - I was in middle school when it was all the rage. I was so mad that I left my camera in the car.. it was definately worthy of a picture. I didn't see if she had tight-rolled her jeans, though. Tapered pants/jeans are bad enough but do you have to add to it by tight rolling them? Oh.. the horror! I don't they were acid washed either. It was the funniest thing I had seen in days.

But then there was funny and then there is scary... how about this:

*shudder*

Spam... wonderful spam...

Check out this offer I got today:

Congratulations PINK KITTY You've Been Selected to Receive a Free Baby

I would have preferred a car.. a necklace.. a cabana boy but... there is just no accounting for what spammers are hawking these days.

And you all thought I gave the dirt on the General Assembly

Check out Camp4u, written by State Represenative Stacey Campfield. (a purr to Bill Hobbs, Blake, and Matt)

And then visit the "brilliant" stylings of House Speaker Jimmy Naifeh's intern, alysha. She decides that she is going to tell Rep. Campfield that _he_ is the one out of line. (3/29 update: apparently alysha has deleted the text of her blog.)

Now, we all know I worked for State Senator John Ford and one time we had it out. And I fully expected to be dismissed from the program for chewing him out on the Senate floor. I wasn't. However, every other time, I was completely respectful of his position as a State Senator. He was elected (though we can wonder about the intelligence of his constituents).

I have to wonder if Miss Alysha missed the lecture given to interns on how to treat legislators.

Someone hasn't read Benjamin Franklin

"Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

(quote source here)

Blake, I sent my emails this morning.

Hearing more things

While having lunch at Panera Bakery:

Man 1: He's coming..
Man 2: Oh my god! He's coming?!!!
Man 1: Yes! Yes, he's coming!

Context... lovely context...

What?

From this week's campus calendar:

4-5 p.m. Special Inaugural Lecture. "Women: The Secret Weapon of Modern Warfare." Kelly Oliver.

The Secret Weapon of Modern Warfare?

Are they talking about women like Mata Hari who were spies?

Or Jessica Lynch who is held up as hero when she really didn't fight back like they said she did?

Or Lyndy whatever-her-name is who is pregnant and on trial for prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib?

Thursday Morning Buzz

Or how many links can I get into one post?

Last night was the Evening with Mr. Roboto (sponsored by News 'Channel' 2) at Jackson's. First, I will run down the "who did I meet list" - great bloggers one and all:

• Mr. Roboto, our gracious host.
• Allen Forkum of Cox and Forkum (talk about your WOW! moments. It was like meeting a celebrity because I love their cartoons)
• Blake (we all already know Blake)
• Lesley of VivaLaLesley
• Rex of Rexblog (who will be putting up a podcast. Her Highness was interviewed so if you are curious as to just exactly how much of an accent she has, check Rex's site shortly)
• Tim Morgan
• And not to be confusing but I also met T-Man (whose name is also Tim)
• Terry Heaton, who put together the original Blogger Breakfast
• MMMikey of Who you talkin' at (and MMMikey's wife who's blog I just found out about but don't have a URL)
• Linda W.
• Busy Mom
  
• Muffy at Karmadgeon
• Paul, or as I call him around here The Dragon
• Meg, the Saucy Librarian
• Justin, one of the weather guys, from News2
• Kevin Barbieux, the formerly homeless blogger was there but I didn't get to meet him.

And I'm sure there are others that I've left off - hey I was glad to meet you too!

Mr. Roboto said that he hoped I would be kind in my post of the event. He is quite charming and very funny. It was a blast! Thank you so much for coordinating the event and I hope it certainly won't be the last. Though you should read Blake's post on how to wear a tux. :)

Maybe we should have a post-income tax filing party in April.

It's great to be in a room with people and when you start talking about your sitemeter report they know what your talking about. And where when we say "the puppy blender" almost everyone knows who we are talking about. In a discussion with either Rex or a Vandy grad student named David (I can't remember who), we talked about the response one gets from co-workers when you tell them you have a blog. They look at you as if to say "do you like.. need an ointment for that? Is that a skin condition?"

Oh, TimMorgan, I was wrong (pay attention - I don't say so too often :) .) You asked me what INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST! meant. I got it confused with the Alliance's SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!, which is from the Cox and Forkum cartoon. The phrase you asked about is something Frank J at IMAO used when he declared war on the Puppy Blender. I don't think it means anything.

David asked me why I started blogging. "Vanity. I need to know that someone out there is reading what I have to say. And it's fun. If it wasn't fun, I wouldn't spend so much time on it. I've met lots of great writers who have unique views on any subject imaginable. I've actually learned quite a bit and been challenged to grow in different ways."

On the subject of get togethers, I was asked why did this online community decide to move offline. "The need for face-to-face interaction and real community. Humans need to sit across from someone and talk to them." And beer. And wine. Oh, Mr. Roboto, thank you for the drink.

Hearing things...

In my new job, I've now moved up to a cubicle that sits in front of a large window.

And I just think I heard someone yell "Captain Caaaavveeeee Maaaannn!"

Yep, I'm gonna like it here.

Drop that bottle!

You must use tap water! If you live in Paris, France that is.

Tap water is just fine.. it tastes the same as Dasani or Aquafina or Crystal Springs... Wait... doesn't Evian come from France?

Yet another example of the government bailing out a failing industry. People turn to bottled water not just because of quality but of convenience. They don't exactly let me use the tap at the local gas station, you know. And.. uh.. given the state of the bathrooms, I really wouldn't want to use the tap at the local gas station.

Today's lesson from Gone with the Wind

Gone with the Wind is one of my favorite movies. After watching it recently, I decided to read the book. Several chapters in, I've decided to bring you some of the lessons that I've learned.

Lesson 1.

Being gentle isn't weakness. Or "One doesn't have to be an uber-witch to get your point across."

"You must be more gentle, dear, more sedate," Ellen told her daughter [Scarlett]. "You must not interrupt gentlemen when they are speaking, even if you do think you know more about matters than they do. Gentlemen do not like forward girls." (p.59)

Scarlett is a manipulator. Aside from Ashley, when she saw something she wanted, she was able to get it if there weren't social restrictions on her behavior. Like many a modern girl, Scarlett was full of herself, headstrong, and driven. The difference, her society and class placed limits on what exactly she could/couldn't do if she wanted to remain in good standing. Today, those of the female gender blurt out what they would like, do what they please with little social consequence unless they happen to break the law and are arrested.

Songs glorify the independent woman who gets even with her stupid boyfriend.. the guy who fails to see exactly who great she is (even though she is probably psychotic.)

And then they are left with the question "why doesn't anyone like me?" Because you are a freak that's why.

Sisters: calm down, take a breath and think about what you are doing... could you say something in a more positive way? Would it be better just to keep your mouth shut? Is what you have to say *really* contributing to the conversation or are you talking to hear yourself talk? I am not saying abandon your personality. I am just asking that before you do a flying leap because something hacked you off that you think about it before reacting.

Belly dance for the Knoxville crowd

Go Vols

Are you sure that's waterproof mascara?

That could have been the subtitle to the documentary "The Eyes of Tammy Faye." It was entertaining, very campy to the point of being cheesey, and if you've been curious about Tammy's life just prior to her re-birth on The Surreal Life on VH1, it's worth a rental. It's definately a doc in her favor and she tries to paint herself as an innocent woman who was just there to sing and host a show. I don't know to what extent her involvement was in any of the illegal activities at PTL but I don't think she was an innocent bystandard.

I think this documentary can be a bit challenging at times for Christians because the most vicious of attacks came from the Christian community for many years. Deservedly so in some cases but PTL did what few Christian ministries did in the early 1980's which was to reach out to the gay community and treat them as human beings. Tammy's former co-host Jim J. Bullock said that he was pretty sure Tammy was against homosexuality but she never let that affect how she treated him.

In the film, Pat Boone stated that Christians are the only ones to attack their wounded.

I've heard it said time and time again "God doesn't make junk" and it is very easy for Chrisitans to get self-righteous about their position on gays, sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc... and look down their noses at someone who is struggling. We offer more sympathy to those in the secular community struggling with an addition than someone within our own church family. For example: divorce. I can think of several instances where people I know were ostracized due to divorce when they had biblical reasons for doing so. At a time when people need love and support the most, they are tossed out like garbage and not worthy because 'you didn't love your husband enough.. you didn't submit enough..'.

Elena reminded me of this last night. We were on our way to meet Blake (with Miss O'Hara and her Dear Companion). Driving down 4th Ave., there were 3 homeless people sleeping on grates on the sidewalk. I said "Oh lovely." With a lot of disdain and scorn in my voice.

Elena said "Poor things." With alot of sympathy and care in her voice.

Talk about your humbling moments. Elena has been working for the last few years with a ministry that reaches the homeless. She sees them as people. I saw them as a public nusance. I don't think anyone was aware of it in the car, I felt very inadequate and put on the spot for my reaction to seeing them on the street. Things in my life could have turned out much differently. It could have been me sleeping there.

When my dad left, he could have refused to pay as much child support as he did (or none at all as sometimes happens.) But he did.

When my mom died, we could have been left without life insurance to pay off the house. But she did.

There but for the grace of God go I. And I needed to be reminded of it.

Market it... Package it.. Sell it...

Funding Scarce for Export of Democracy

Like everything else in America, we can find a way to put it in a box and sell it to someone willing to buy it.

Unfortunately it seems they can't find the venture capitalists to sink some poor saps money into the project (i.e. anything the Donald does since he seems to be the only one making money with all the times he's filed for bankruptcy.)

Oh.. wait.. they did. The American taxpayer. Oops.

Just desserts...

Say no to him... and he could say no to you, girls.

Language not safe for Elena's work.

I don't think this is right.

Hrmmm...


You speak eloquently and have seemingly read every
book ever published. You are a fountain of
endless (sometimes useless) knowledge, and
never fail to impress at a party. What people love: You can answer almost any
question people ask, and have thus been
nicknamed Jeeves. What people hate: You constantly correct their
grammar and insult their paperbacks.


What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, I have way too many books but most of them I've not read. I thought I would be a food and wine snob.

Can we guess what Elena will get on this quiz? :)

A purr to ThePinkKitty for this one.

What's worse that Legolas speaking in the Lord of the Rings movies?

Legolas singing

Fear the Salmon. Fear the Hasselhoff.

What do you get when you mix one of the most annoying songs on the planet with David "I can fly better than Neo" Hasslehoff? Or is it David "I made this at the mall for $15" Hasselhoff?

Pink Kitty missing the Dancing Baby from Ally McBeal.

A sort-of purr to Miss O'Hara (she did send it to me....) but... now I will have to watch the Hootie "Tender Crisp Bacon Chedder Ranch" commercial to get that other freaking song out of my head.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

Further proof that legislators and others live in the land of Oz...

GAO Official: No Crisis in Social Security

All shall love me and despair...

Ann Coulter, Howard Dean and Al Sharpton will be on campus next week giving different lectures as a part of the Impact Series.

Ahh... one bonus of being an employee... free tickets.

Spiritual Movement

Part of this was written on 3/6/2005

This post is a bit more personal and not quite as humorous but it is something I have to share.

I re-dedicated my life to Christ about a year before my mom passed away in 2000. I would not have survived without the daily prayer, Bible study, and support of my church family. While I seriously doubt I would have killed myself, I would definately be emotionally dead and you would probably not be reading such masterpieces as the Oscar Edition caption contest summary or Leftist Fashion Advice (a personal favorite).

After that, as Elena could attest to, my relationship with God has been extremely spotty. There would be intense periods of prayer and growth followed by extreme patterns of rebellion covered with a spiritual veneer to hide the pain I am not willing to share with anyone.

For the past 5 years, I've struggled to talk to God. I talk to my cat more than I talk to Him. It isn't anger or resentment. I know my mom is in Heaven. I know she no longer suffers. I have truly been blessed by what has happened in my life. I am very grateful and thankful.

It was that I could no longer hear Him - even if He was speaking clearly, I refused to listen.

The past couple of weeks have been intense for me personally. Not all of it blogworthy. One morning late last week, it was cold and rainy. I was tired and not thrilled about dragging myself into work to be fussed at for nothing. In the middle of the lawn near my building, there was a pair of crows splashing around in a puddle and cawwing up a storm. They were hopping around and poking their beaks into the ground. I guess they found a stash of bugs like Fort Knox and were warning all of their crow buddies to stay away. I stopped and watched for a moment and thought "You take care of the sparrows and the lillies of the field. They want for nothing. How much more value do I have to you than these crows? How is it that I... I who have sooo much.. can't find joy on a daily basis? Why do I deny myself joy? Here are two crows.. ugly nasty crows rejoicing on such a miserable day. Why can't I rejoice?"

That prayer was followed with others wondering about where God was.. more appropriately, where I am in relation to Him. He doesn't move - I wander all over the place.

Fast forward to Friday night. Elena and I went to dinner. You've read some of her accounts of her slow reconcilliation with her father. That night she told me about how her parents were rebuilding their relationships with each other and Elena and her sister. I told her how I truly feel at peace about the political situation at work. I outlined how I was finally getting help to finish the estates and that they were almost finished. This week, I started a new relationship with my aunt and uncle (my mom's brother). We have never been close but they kept reaching out to me and finally.. I accepted. Much to my delight. They are good people with an equally warped sense of humor. It felt so good. And we both acknowledged that all of this - it was God. It was certainly nothing of our own creation. We may have taken steps to follow up but God is at the center of it.

"It's like.. I walked through this desert. For years, it seemed as though God was not here. He was so quiet. And now.. *boom* He says "Here I am! Now do you see me? I've been here all along." Doing things only He can do.. reaching us in unexpected ways.. and helping us to reach out to others."

Then I read DC's post about praying over his girls. And for the first time in a long time, I can feel the hard shell around my heart crack... just a little and the emotions come out. Good and bad; anger and thankfulness; love and jealousy.. all emotion and states of mind that I can lay at His feet.

It hurts.. but it is so good.

added 3/13/2005

Today, I was chatting with my pastor about the events of the week. He told me to stop praying for crazy stuff in his life.. that it had just been a roller coaster for the last two weeks and that he wanted the sedate, calm Tom back. I said "Now you know.. sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zones..."

"Oh hush up."

He and I talked about the roller coasters we have been on over the last year. Loss of loved ones, illness, job stress and how it was terrible loads to bear.. and that there were times when it seemed that God was distant. Where we were angry that we couldn't see or hear Him or why was all this crap happening to us.

Tom said "Pastor Pete said it best.. if there was every anything to take away from a service.. "God can handle your anger. You can't." "

Isn't that the truth? We try to bottle up our hurt, anger, resentment.. cover it up with pride. The longer we hide behind such facades, the more damage we do. I know I can't handle my anger which is usually tied to some hurt. I have to let it out - in constructive ways. Angry prayers, crying until I'm exhausted, pushing myself hard at the gym, sharing the situation with Elena or Duke Diva (who God has truly blessed me with!) and finding real ways to take action.

For the first time in 5 years, I know joy... I have never been more at peace.. more content with what was going on in my life. I don't mean that I'm going to sit here like a bump on a log.. I've got things to do. Content doesn't mean complacent or lazy. :) It also doesn't mean that I am overly thrilled with everything either or that I will be one of those shiny happy Christians who never shows any emotion at all.

I have a new connection with God.. more mature, more reverental.. more respect and humility.. more love than ever.

What a place to be in.

Nasty dirty tricksy hobbites!

Hobbit picture 'four years away'

Freakin' sweet. I loved The Hobbit and when I re-read it last year, I could see it as a movie. Just so long as I don't have to hear Legolas or some other elf go on about Middle Earth while doing a Yoda impression, I'm good.

"A red sun rises.. yes... blood spilt this night has been." That was just stupid.

Friday Cat Blogging

I think I may have posted this before but she is just so darn cute! And the 9 Chickweed Lane cartoon fits her perfectly. Click the picture to enlarge.



Have a great weekend y'all!

Real Charity

Businessman Offers $1 Million to Keep Terri Schiavo Alive

Because we know (or at least suspect) that Michael Schiavo has been waging this battle to starve his wife to death so that he can get the settlement money free and clear. Because right now all it can be used for is her care which has probably been minimum at best.

Even though her parents have said for years they would take custody of her and use the money for her care and therapy. He hasn't given it up because I think he wants that money.

And if he doesn't accept, I think it shows that he really is only out to kill his wife and get her money.

I don't know if this offer is real or not but... Gloria Allred is involved. She's a bit on the wacked out side (she represented Amber Frey of the what was that guy's name.. Peterson's mistress) so why would anyone use her name for a hoax.

Madness.

Now it's time for...

Elena's Poetry Corner.

She's updated this site with some new poetry. Go and see the girl who is way more artistic than me. Wow. Good stuff chick.

A possible conversation between Michael Schiavo and Jodi The Fiance'

Jodi: I've waited for 10 years. How much longer will this go on, Michael?

Michael: Honey, it will be over soon. It will behind us and we can get married and have a new life together without the press and courts...

Jodi: I'm looking forward to that day. The kids will be glad to be rid of all of this stress. I do have a question for you, though.

Michael: Yes, what is it?

Jodi: If.. if I were injured in a car accident or something and I were disabled, what would you do?

Michael: [uncomfortable silence]

Jodi: Michael?

Something else to tick Nate off...

... because I live to see him all riled up.

Communists For TennCare

via: Bill Hobbs

Ohhhh...

So now, the Senate has decide it wants a 'straight answer' on TennCare. And they want it out in the open... as opposed to all the behind the door meetings and decision making so that bills are just barely glanced at on their way through committee to the floor. Do us all a favor.. get rid of it. It's a major drain on resources. And the same people who want more money for education likely want more money for TennCare... and to fund it they want an income tax.

"Yep.. I'm sure of it darlin'... I hate 'em." And they don't remind me of me.

And Jack Bonnyman may not be the villain of TennCare but he is certainly in need of a stylist. Those glasses are hideous.

Kitties with guns...

shoot people.

Let that be a lesson to you... don't tick off your kitties.

There's a party going on around here...

Nashville people, get yourself down to Jackson's on the 23rd. Meet the likes of.. me and Blake.. something about his birthday coming up... and Mr. Roboto who is organizing this shindig.

Needless to say, I will likely be going by my real name since "Empress" and "Pink Kitty" do not go over well in real life.

Pots and Kettles; Ribbons and Bows

Headline from WorldNetDaily:

Cronkite: Rather stayed years too long
Says Schieffer 'would have given the others a real run for their money'

Hmm... one old fart dissing another old fart yet giving props to another old fart... and all from the same MSM tradition. If they want to give people a run for their money, let Scrappleface give us the news.

Encounters with the neighbors

Or Episodes in Mistaken Sexuality

I like my neighbors. They have been really good to us (my brother and I). They are very friendly.. they are good people but.. Saturday.. well.. the story...

Elena and I went to the Rep to see "Noises Off" and to dinner and we came back to my house to sit and chat and watch back episodes of Project Runway. In the morning, after I met with the guy who bought my dad's store to go over what pieces I needed to move to my house, we went to breakfast.

When I got back, the neighbor asked "When did you get a roommate?"

"She's not a roommate. That's my best friend, Elena. You met her at my brother's going away party last year. We went to the Rep last night and when we got back, it was late so she stayed the night in my brother's room."

There was this... look... on her face. I can't describe it. And we talked about my brother and the Rep's productions and went our separate ways. I got in the house and thought "Blankity-blank. She thinks I'm a lesbian! Now I'm going to have to get some guy to come over here and defend my heterosexuality."

Yeesh. Don't I have enough to do than worry about the neighbors? Truthfully, yes but blankity-blank - I'm not gay!

Caption Contest - Oscar Edition - The Winner

*A large auditorium of people who could otherwise afford them sit in donated gowns and tuxes looking semi-fabulous. The orchestra is playing the theme from Terminator - the third time tonight, actually.

The host, not Chris Rock because the next presenter would not be caught dead at an event hosted or even attended by Chris Rock, says "Now let me bring up a young woman who has purred more than she has scratched... Empress Pink Kitty!"

Her Highness makes a grand entrance onto the stage; the envelope from PriceWaterhouseCooper Tires in her left hand, rings from Harry Winston-Salem on her right. And rightfully so. She never fails to make an entrance.

"Throughout the year, caption contests capture our imagination by forcing us to look at common pictures in an unusual way. It takes creative, talented and funny individuals to find the humor in these images. It is this group that we honor tonight and thank them for their dedicated service. The nominees are...

LF for "Hey Hilary, this isn't an Oscar in my pants . . ."

Red for "Clint, make my day. Get a breath mint!"

Nate for "Jeez Clint, it's the frickin' Oscars... couldn't you floss?"

and

Res Ispa for "Clint, You're old enough to be my great grandfather, are those your real teath?"

And the Oscar-Meyer goes to............

Ladies and gentlemen.. I don't quite believe it. It's a tie. Did the accountants get this right? Did they tally all the ballots, hanging chads, dimpled chads and Chad Lowe included?

The winners are LF and Nate!

*the Orchestra plays while Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, who are still working their way through as interns on The Simple Live 972, stand there holding a pair of bronzed Bill Clinton bobbleheads.*

I'm sorry about the statues, guys. It was kind of short notice and we used what we had on hand. He couldn't give them all away in his tsunami devistation and world book tour. You have 45 seconds for your acceptance speech and the other nominees have 20 seconds to gripe about it on the red carpet to E! on their way to the after-party.

Another Edict from the Ministry of the Obvious

Recent headline from Foxnews.com:

Redistricting Battle in Georgia
Now that GOP is in control, Dems fear new boundaries could skew elections

But the GOP was supposed to be OK with it when Dems gerrymandered all over the place to carve up solid Dem districts. Seriously... who writes these headlines? Christine from Phantom of the Opera?

Fashion Advice for the Leftist Set

1. Smug looks and vacant stares are for the runway. If your picture is being taken by the press, you should do that head tilt thing like Paris Hilton.
2. Ginny, honey... wide horizontal stripes work on NO one. Well.. unless you are trying to mark a parking lot, never use horizontal stripes.
3. Ginny, dear... please see someone about your eyebrows. You could be hiding a terrorist in them.
4. Proper support of "the girls" with good undergarments is always in style. Bra Burning is very 1960-something. But, I guess your politcs and personal style is probably still stuck in those "radical days." Your location, Berkeley, CA, seems to be suck in the 1960's.

I realize that this advice will likely fall on deaf ears as you both are likely to say "I want to be considered for my mind and not what I look like!" Well, I see what is coming out of your mind and it isn't very attractive either.

A purr to Six Meat Buffet and Digger for this lovely picture.

Naughty Naughty!

SugarLand - Baby Girl Lyrics

"They'll promise fancy cars an' diamond rings, an' all sorts of shiny things, But, girl, you'll remember what your knees are for."

OK... I'm sure they intended it to be a lyric about reminding the person in the song to pray, be humble and all that stuff... but... you know... uh... this is Nashville. I'm sure more than one contract was gotten via a different talent - not vocal talent but an oral talent none the less.

Candy choices

When I was at Target picking up supplies for the last minute Oscar party at my house, I noticed Hershey's had a new bag of candy out for nut lovers that had 4 different kinds of mini chocolate bars with nuts:
dark chocolate with almonds
white chocolate with peanuts
milk chocolate with cashews
milk chocolate with peanuts

So... the last one.. milk chocolate with peanuts... isn't that Mr. Goodbar? Marketing people....

Duh.... uh der...

To retired Admiral Hutson, the lesson is that the U.S. military needs a midcourse correction. "If I thought that letting (open) gays in the military now would degrade the mission," he says, "I wouldn't be for it. The military mission is unique enough that it shouldn't be a social laboratory. But we are at a point now where we can do it. And once you can do it, that creates a moral imperative that means you must do it."

The military as a social laboratory? Nooooooooooooo....

I seem to recall that about the same time as the whole gay in the military thing started gaining momentum, there was a heck of a lot of flap about women in combat roles. They are good enough, smart enough, and dog gone it.. somebody likes them! We can watch Demi Moore make it through SEAL training in "GI Jane." (cough cough cough.. excuse me. I think I choaked on some feminist dogma.)

This attempt get the military to be more deconstructed brought to you by liberals everywhere and United Colors of Benetton.

Source for quote: Admiral steers support for gays in military - 02/28/05

A Reality Show Nate Would Love?

Given Nate's hatred of reality TV shows, I happened across one a couple of weeks ago that I'm curious to know what the Blogger Blaster has to say about it.

The Ultimate Fighter on Spike.

Big, buff, sweaty men beating each other up. Mmm... Well, at least I found a reason to watch it.

I know nothing about ultimate fighting other than it kinda looks like the movie Bloodsport (this was a movie my dad and I watched together. As sucky as the movie is, it holds a special place in my heart.) I think they should leave all that backstage bickering and complaining about who doesn't know how to use the grill out of the show. I don't want to know if they are drama queens! I don't care! Boring.

The show as a TV show isn't well done. It's actually kind of dull. I flipped back and forth until the weigh in.

More fighting!

Caption Contest - Oscar Edition

Hollywood had its big night last night. There are probably parties still going on right now. Not too many questionable Academy decisions but some questionable outfits? You betcha. No fashion critiques here - there are plenty of other places around the web where you can get that. But answer this:



What are Hilary Swank and Clint Eastwood saying to each other?

My Dream Man

A personal ad from Mr. Left:

"I'm a bleeding-heart pacifist vegetarian quasi-hippie, but I have a soft spot for crass, incorrect humor."

He's a non-profit lawyer who can't live without pomade. OK - even I can live without my hair product. Dude.. are you trying to be gayer than the guys on Queer Eye? Ewww.

I'm back

I know. You all missed me terribly and could barely get through your day without some random observation from Her Royal Highness.

I'm not fully well yet (this is what happens when you don't treat a sinus infection right away and mistake it for just a plain old cold). But Zithromax is a wonderful thing.

Edited to add: Thank you all for the well wishes! I appreciate them.

Posting will re-commence.

Pink Kitty is not available

The Empress is taking a few days off to recover from a sinus infection. Posting between now and Monday will be partly sneezy with a chance for showers late in the week.

Elena, post something here or at polka dotted sky please?

Green is Gay

Or is it purple for Barney and Tinky Winky (with his red man-purse. Incidentally, Fendi's mens line for Fall 2005 was full of man purses. Eww.).

Little did we know that Shrek's marriage to Fiona was a ruse. He was really after Prince Charming. Or would it be Donkey? They were rooming together after all.

What about all this inter-species relationships? The Queen was married to a frog. Donkey and the Dragon with their little mutated babies? Is anyone going to decry that? Huh? Dragons need love too!

There she is - not -... Miss America....

And the tribe has spoken. Jeff Probst takes away her little crown after some speech about fire being life.

The Donald jumps in and hops up and down about the Miss Universe pagent that he owns and he's pissed because Mark Burnett didn't think of it first for the Miss USA pagent (which Trump owns.) He threatens to fire Burnett but realizes that firing the god of Reality TV may not be a good idea since Trump will be replaced with Martha Stewart next year.

Oh wait. They paired up with William Morris. Will it be a spin off of America's Next Top Model? Tyra Banks may need more to do. Will they model clothes like on Project Runway (Fashion is all about it's in and what's out so says Heidi Klum. Will Michael Kors be underwhelmed?) or SI's Swimsuit Model Search (air-brushed on suits as opposed to real swimsuits)? Will Simon be a judge for the talent competition? Absolutely dreadful.

There are a half-dozen shows that do it already and will probably do it better.

Belly Dance Photo of the Week

Here is a second installment of world's worst belly dance costumes.



OK... Let the Empress count the ways this cosume is wrong.
1) Bike shorts
2) Bike shorts

There is nothing feminine, sexy, seductive, attractive, or even cute about this costume. Bike shorts? They belong at the gym or on a bike trail - while riding a bike. They are not to be worn out among the general population and certainly NOT as a dance costume (the early 1990's - MC Hammer's back up dancers excluded).



Well, can we guess what body part we are trying to emphasize here? I don't think it's her chin.



Or here? It's the Sir Mix A Lot appreciation hip scarf. Notice how your cheeks will be nicely separated with this neat hip scarf. Perfectly round.. like a peach.



Or here? In fact, they think you need some help in focusing your attention....

Quote of the day

Found at Lucianne.com

'A blog is still a view of the world through a pinhole.'

- Executive Editor of the New York Times Bill Keller noted that it can sometimes fall as low as being a 'one man circle jerk.'

Cheese with that whine? He would probably say that people from Kansas aren't nearly as 'sophisticated' (cover word for intelligent) as those from cities like New York.

I cannot escape probate!

Last week, my uncle called to tell me he sold the property that he and my mom inherited when their mom passed away in 1986. They needed to know what was going on with the property when my mom passed away.
"I thought she did a quit claim deed and gave it to you."

Well, no.

For my new readers, please allow me to explain. I was the administrator of my mom's estate when she passed in 2000. And sort of when my grandmother passed in 2003 but my dad was on the papers. When my dad passed away in 2004, I was named administator of his estate AND of her estate. Needless to say, I think I have more experience than most people who aren't in the business of death and attorneys.

Well, I gave my uncle my attorney's phone number. She looked through her records.

"No, I didn't do a quit claim deed on it. Maybe it was in your grandmother's home county." (where the property is). "Have him check with the register of deeds in that county. If not, an attorney in that county can file an affidavit and you and your brother (who is in Iraq and can't exactly sign anything right now.. thank God for Power of Attorney) can sign it over to him since her half would have gone automatically to her heirs on her death."

"OK. Not a problem."

"Well, there could be. The title company may not issue insurance on it. Your grandmother's estate may have to go into probate."

"What?"

"Yeah but that needs to be handled by someone in that county. It's not something I can really help with since the property isn't in Nashville."

"OK. Thanks. I appreciate it."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I will never be threw with these estates! One from 19 years ago is coming back to bite me on the tookis. For crying out loud.

New Contest! Festivus!

With the ever-popular Valentine's Day behind us and the ever-important (for those looking to find a sale) President's Day in front of us, Elena suggested a new contest:

What holiday would you create and when would it be? How would be celebrate?

Bias? What bias?

So, there was this lecture by the guy from CNN.

I'm not going to cruicfy him. He was very entertaining and the lecture was quite enjoyable. Nearly everyone in the room thought there was a liberal media bias. Someone suggested that it is because it is a Republican in the office. Almost no one thought the media was easy on Clinton, so the question is "how can there be a liberal media bias?"

And he admitted there was a bias but not a philosophical bias. His arguement was that the bias was toward creating conflict, being anti-establishment (regardless of who was in office), and that many journalists were looking for a "gotcha" story. Because noisey shows and scoops get ratings, it can appear to be biased.

The only mention of bloggers came when he talked about how the story of Rathergate snowballed. The story of the memo was 'sloppy, awful journalism. The first thing they should have done was to check with a document examiner. I don't know one in the country that would have authenticated it. Now the credibility of CBS journalism is tarnished.' (rough paraphrase)

He mentioned bloggers and Eason Jordan - nothing of note. Both times he mentioned bloggers, he said "conservative bloggers." Hey - there are liberals ones out there. They are just bought and paid for by the Dean campaign.

Let's talk bias though. He said that wearing a campaign button, having a bumper sticker or contributing to a campaign is a fireable offense at CNN and at Fox. I guess no one mentioned it to the folks at CBS who had an anti-Bush thing in their news truck. He said that most of the main section stories in the NYT come from the Sunday morning talk shows.

I think what I enjoyed most was the discussion on how a simple (or not so simple) question can impact a candidate's entire image. Al Gore was going to appear on a show that he produced in 1999 to do an interview with Wolf Blitzer. When they were coming up with questions, he said "how about 'what separates you from Bill Bradley?" Wolf thought the question would be boring "I'm the Vice President" and no revealing answers. The guy insisted that Wolf ask it so Wolf did.

The answer?

'I invented the internet.'

After we all stopped snickering, we talked about spin. The Republicans issued press releases right away, one including Trent Lott's diagrams for the 1943, 1947, and 1973 paper clip that he invented. The producer felt that Al Gore dropped the ball in trying to halt the spin. If Al felt he mis-spoke, as some claim, then Al should have been more clear in his responses. Instead, a lifetime of public service was boiled down to claims that he created the internet and earth tone suits to make him appear like an Alpha Male. (When should Naomi Wolf give fashion advice anyway? She's a.. a.. not even a pundit and certainly not a stylist.)

I think that's it folks. If I find anything else in my notes, I'll add them. Ta-ta!

Pink Kitty’s Advice Column: The Workplace

or “Better out than in, I always say”

Dear Gentle Reader (and not-so-Gentle Nate),

A word on etiquette when using the office restroom.

Farts happen. We Southern Belles will deny that gas ever escapes our bodies in a less-than-ladylike fashion. And it is perfectly fine for them to occur in the restroom. Much more acceptable than in the cubicle farm.

But if you must let out a nuclear level stinky fart, please please PLEASE use the air freshener supplied by your cleaning staff to soften the blow to those that follow.

Freshly re-perfumed,

Empress Kitty

Happy Birthday to the Blog

Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to the Scratching Post!
Happy Birthday to me!

- Signed the Scratching Post, who is 2 today. -

Blogger Bash Breakfast

Well, her ever-fabulousness herself got dolled up and trotted down to the Ch. 2 studio for doughnuts, coffee and shop talk with some of Nashville's finest - bloggers that is.

FINALLY met Blake in person (wearing the infamous Clay Aiken argyle sweater). Glad to meet you. And Bill Hobbs. And some of the fellas from Pith in the Wind. And Glen from the very new Nashville Truth. It was alot alot of fun. Mike, the GM, talked about how Ch. 2 doesn't see bloggers as competition but as yet another outlet. He was alot of fun to talk to. And for the group picture, Rex has a photo. And that would be me in the red, seated next to the Dragon.

And since there were bloggers around, someone live blogged it. The Dragon has the entry.

Yay! Can't wait for the next meeting.

Edited to add: WHERE are my manners??? The Empress sends out many thanks to Terry at The Pomo Blog for organizing this event. Thanks to Channel 2 for hosting (and for the link on the Nashville Blogs list. Nate has one on that list, too.)

Update: Terry has several photos on his blog.

Times you wish you had a camera

A poem to honor my adventures at Target:

Jack Sprat would eat no fat
His girlfrend would eat no lean
He dress in goth
She like Stevie Nicks
And betwix the two of them,
They left the Empress bemused.

I got into the Cruiser to leave when this couple walked by. Normally, I'm really good about not staring. Not at this pair. He looked like a taller, skinny version of Clay Aiken with bright red hair and no stylist. His clothes were picked out at the Hot Topic used bin. She was this short, squatty pudgy (er.. very rotund) woman wearing a flowy white shirt and vest with a cowboy hat.

Or as Elena put it, "I am my own Ren Faire!"

Irony?

From this week's campus calendar:

Special Lecture. "Media Bias in Campaign Coverage." Sam Feist, 1991 alum, Senior Political Producer for CNN. 5 p.m. Reception. Talk to begin at 6 p.m.

CNN and Media Bias? Right.... er... Left.

Defense of the Indefensible?

Nate has this to say:

So Elena has publicly thrown PK under the bus... blaming PK for her exposure to Queer Eye for a Straight Guy.

Should this accusation turn out to be true...

There will be a proper sentencign hearing at the blogger blaster at a date to be announced later.

How answer you this charge?

(The Empress was confused about who was actually charged and Mr. Nate clarified it for me)

Throwing someone under a bus is a figure of speech. You, PK, are being accused of exposing the otherwise pure,virginal, and innocent Elena to that trash.

What say you?

Hmm… First: can the Empress REALLY be tried in her own court? Nate that is just very… bold of you to march yourself into the Empress’s throne room and put her on trial. But being a benevolent Empress, I suppose I will humor the charge with a response and not send out for the Palace Guard to attack the Mountain Fortress or something.

As to whether or not I stand, or sit as the case may be, guilty of corrupting innocent little Elena with episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Yes, it was on my TV that she was exposed to that show.

But a certain Countess did make special trips to the Empress’s house to watch said show. Let’s remember a bit of personal responsibility here. If little Miss Elena was not enjoying herself or was in any way offended, she could have escorted herself right out the door. Geez, do you think we are going to watch NASCAR? We are girls!

And as Elena said “No one understands a woman’s *itchy side like a gay man.”

I stand by my TV viewing choices. I have not watched Queer Eye but for a few minutes in at least a few months. It is so 5 minutes ago. Played out. Done and frankly it’s moved to annoying. Gary Sinese is much better to watch on Wednesdays (on at the same time as one of the QE shows). Give me CSI any day. And thanks to syndication and multiple shows, I can watch CSI at least once a day on multiple stations if I were so inclined.

A Good Idea or No?

*running out onto the political incorrect and stereotyping limb as fast and as far as she can*

Do you think it was wise to put in an Army surplus store next to the Ramadan International Food Mart and Restaurant?

Me neither.

TV Themes

I don't mean songs. I mean a distinct theme or idea that presented itself on two of my favorite shows this past week: Law and Order: SVU and CSI. It is a dramatic indulgence of my fascination for forensic science.

The rerun of SVU had a case of mistaken identity and murder surrounding mail order brides (twins). CSI started with a dead body in the desert who turned out to be a mail order bride murdered by her abusive husband (who had since re-married to another mail order bride. To keep her figure, he had padlocks on the cabinets and fridge; he had no phone in the house for her to use.)

Theme 1: Men are jerks.

Here is the altercation between Catherine Willows, Sara Sidel and Mr. Melton (ex-husband of one of the victims and as we find out later, her muderer):

Catherine: Have a seat Mr. Melton.
Melton: I married Jun about a year after Svetlana left.
Catherine: And when was the last time you saw Svetlana?
Melton: It was about 2 years ago. She didn't come home one night. Next thing I know, the cops are knocking down my door. I thought something had happened to her but they were there to arrest me for hitting her.
Sara: Are you saying that you didn't?
Melton: We were married for three years. I never hit her.
Sara: Why would she lie?
Melton: I don't know.
Catherine: And then what happened?
Melton: After that I was done. I went looking for her to sign the divorce papers but it was like she fell off the face of the earth...
Sara: Or got buried a few feet under it?
Melton: I took our ads in the newspaper every day for a month. She never responded.
Catherine: Yet you didn't file a missing persons report.
Melton: I had been accused of abuse. How would that look?
Sara: You seem to care alot about how things look, Mr. Melton.
Catherine: We are going to need a list of Svetlana's friends and family.
Melton: She didn't have any.
Sara: She spawned from nothingness?
Melton: Her parents died in some kind of industrial accident in Odessa.
Catherine: Russia?
Melton: Yeah.
Catherine: How did you two meet?
Melton: We met through an agency.
Sara: Svetlana was a mail order bride?
Melton: We were introduced through an agency.
Sara: What happened? The Russian agency denied your application for another wife? Or you just lost your taste for white meat? Too tough?
Melton: You know what lady, I am not going to feel bad about my decision. I dated American women like you. They don't want to be anyone's wife or mother. You mention the word 'domestic' and they are done with you. It's nice to be needed and not resented.
Sara: I find isolation and dependancy really sexy too.
Melton: You can think whatever the hell you want.

And the episode goes on.. Sara and Catherine fight about the use of sexuality in the workplace, we find out that marriage is a contract with the state and about protecting future assests (via Chloe the Match Maker who "brings Keiv to you"), Mr. Melton was abusive and Svetlana wanted out.. that Svetlana asked her lover, Ken to beat her up to fast track her divorce.. and that Mr. Melton beat her up and killed her. When he is arrested, it leaves poor Jun to go work in Chloe the Match Maker's salon until she finds another husband.

Sara is the the personification of the educated American woman/witch. They've been working on this development in her character for at least a year. She's pushy, agressive, arrogant, has no life outside of work - like a man with boobs and minus a penis.

Theme 2: Foreign women are gold diggers/compliant/docile/greedy.

In the episode of SVU, the girl they thought was dead bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend getting expensive gifts and when she found someone with more money, she moved on. The sister stayed at home to take care of kids and make dinner. And then girl 1 finds girl 2 dead and assumes girl 2's identity and life.

Girl 1 is a gold digger. Girl 2 is the happy homemaker.

Then girl 1's body is found and ruins everything for girl 2 who steals everything from her husband and goes on the run. But... not to where we think. She goes to the agency that matched them up 5 years before to buy her sister's freedom from forced prostitution because her husband returned her in the 90 day trial period and got his money back. Whew.

Girl 3 is a prostitute. Are we seeing any stereotypes about Eastern European women here?

So, the Empress's advice to those seeking a foreign bride: Don't watch CSI or Law and Order.

Time Waster

You're going to let it be known that you are a
sexual being. Some people may be offended by
what you do, some will be amused, and some will
be turned on. In the future, you will
mysteriously acquire a British accent.


What band from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

A purr to IvanLenin.

While I'm working on other posts

Enjoy this fine link:

The Bureau of Corporate Allegory

Change of Heart

Destiny's Child has gone from being Independent Women who can take care of themselves and buy their own bling bling to looking for a Soldier who can take care of them and ride around in Impalas.

Poetry... sheer poetry....

I love how he keep my body screamin' {Screamin'}
A rude boy that's good to me, wit street credibility

If his status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he lookin' at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Known to carry big things
If you know what I mean

Saturday Adventures

Lynn and I went to Sparta, TN for a wedding of one of our best friends from high school. Whenever Lynn and I take a road trip, it's always an adventure.

In high school, a trip to Murfressboro left me with a dent in the side of my head from where she took the interstate exit a little too fast and I went sliding across the back seat and smacking into the frame of the car. Seatbelt? I don't need no stinkin' seat belt.

And where we were followed by some creep at Disneyworld all day (and stuck on the Small World ride for 20 minutes.. listening to that song.. I'm convinced that ride could be used for torture and should be classified as cruel and unusual punishment. One has to be a masochist to really enjoy that ride...)

Well, yesterday, we were driving to Sparta. And we got lost. Not for too long but the directions said nothing about the road veering to the left. We drove by this one house with a huge sign out by the street that said:

It's your fault if you get shot.

If I didn't know better, I would have thought we were at Nate's house.

When we finally found the road that the church was one, we saw this cow. We couldn't stop to investigate because there wasn't enough of a shoulder to safely pull over but it either had a milk jug tied to it's rear end or as Lynn said "it's having a baby! Pull over! I bet we can help."

"What?"

"I want to help."

"You've never helped anything give birth. What makes you think you can help a cow?"

"I don't know....."

We did not stop to find out what was happening with the cow.

The wedding was extremely laid back. Everyone looked great and we made it back to the city without further incident.

Huh?

I received this in the weekly update of activities on campus:

3:15-4 p.m. Philosophy Lecture. "What's Wrong With the Female Nude?" Anne Eaton. Reception following, Philosophy Lounge.

I'm sure there are those that would say "Why are we even asking the question?" or "Nothing." Maybe if you are talking about Janeane Garofolo or something. But the lecture will probably go to the "objectifying women's bodies is wrong and horrible and leads to eating disorders" side.

Edited to add:
And later in the week we can all go to:
7-9:30 p.m. Women's Center Vagina Monologues.

New Poem at Countess's Cozy Corner

If you like poetry (unrhymed) and would like to contribute to Elena's creative efforts, she requests your perusal of and comments about her work at the Cozy Corner. (Imagine a book-filled room with pipe-smoke-infused Victorian wall coverings, leather-covered easy chairs, a companionable old pooch [select your favorite breed] or lap-loving cat right out of T. S. Eliot's collection, and a pot of tea [or a carafe of sherry or container of Scotch]. Nice and snuggly...not floweredy [ick].)

A wave of the feather pen to ya!

Caption Contest Winner

You've been waiting with baited breath for the Empress to announce the winner of the Caption Contest... and the Burger King cardboard crown go to....


Nate!

Because I really couldn't give it to myself (I really thought my "I'm so naughty, naughty I am" line was hysterical)....

Nate said:

"Ok Jimmy. Now remember... football is a really just a race. So when you hear 'hike' you put your head down and run as fast as you can and don't stop no matter what. We'll yell before you hit the fence." Elena's clothing entry would have been funnier if she used Gap Kids instead of the Pottery Barn. Does the Pottery Barn even sell clothes? I don't shop there... I have no idea.

Honorable mentions:

Nate the band geeks are over there.
Anonymous

Yoo-hoo-oo! Boys! I'm over hee-ere!
Elena
- Reminiscent of the back story of Mr. Slave on South Park.. hehehehe.

Belly Dance photo of the week

This week's dancer is Rania out of California.

Miss O'Hara goes on the job hunt

Miss O'Hara: PKs! That's IT! I could be a wedding planner for homosexuals! I'd be richer than Croesus!
pink_kitty_post: LOL!!!
Miss O'Hara: Frigging awesome!
Miss O'Hara: I'd be a GAziLLIONAIRE!

This and me breaking office equipment will keep the US economy stable through February.